(no subject)
i think i might need to start eating. i know, what an absolutely amazing revelation. but, today, i woke up at about 130, but i could not physically get out of bed untill about 230. so, it took me an hour. i just laid there with my eyes closed..not moving..cuz i didn't have enough energy TO move. finally i did, but even that was labored. and right now, if you asked me to run, i'd laugh at you, becasue once again, it is almost physically impossible. since igot up, i have sat in this chair, and done nothing, becasue i do not have enough energy to do anything, at all. i'm skin and bones, and i haven't eaten anything worth calling substantial in the last two weeks. so yes. i think i might need to eat. which poses a problem. i can't eat. one: needs too much energy, two: i just don't have an appetite and three: i don't beleive in force feeding myself. so, as i said before, this poses a problem. but i also don't want to be whisked away to one of those programs for people who are skinny and can't eat where they stick tubes down your throat and in your veins, so i guess i will have ot start force feednig myself. last time i did that though, it didnt' turn out too good, then i just started hating food, totally, and was repulsed by the mere idea of it, now i just can't eat it. agh. well, i guess i'll figure out something...hopefully. hence why i haven't been at school in the last two days. my body has finally started to retaliate. and the funny thing is, my mind won't let me eat, but eventually it too will go to waste if i don't start...so i think my mind is slightly disfunctionaly, and therefore i need a new one. *sigh* anyone willing to give up theirs??? haha. toodles.