There's Something Wrong With Blaine (1/3)
Title: There's Something Wrong With Blaine (1/3)
Author: mothergoddamn & rebness
Pairing/characters: Blaine/Kurt, Finn Hudson and Puck.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Finn is an easygoing guy who believes the best in everyone. But when Blaine Anderson begins to ingratiate himself into the Hudmels' lives, he can't ignore the strange events that occur. Just what exactly is wrong with Blaine? And can Finn save Kurt?
Author Note: Please note, we actually like Blaine. Set before 3x05.
There's Something Wrong With Blaine
Chapter 1
Finn Hudson's life was awesome. He had the girl of his dreams, he was quarterback again, his mom was happy and he had a new family. Everything was going great.
And then? Then there was Blaine.
Okay, yeah, sure. Blaine was nice and stuff and Kurt really liked him and he didn't even seem to mind that he dressed like a Nickeloedon presenter and sang everything. All that was totally cool but-- there was something off about Blaine.
It had started off small, nothing too troubling, but it had stuck with Finn for some reason. Jarred him.
It had been three weeks since the first incident. Kurt had been pottering around in the kitchen, leaving Finn and Blaine alone to chat and drink their green tea latte and Nesquick milkshake respectively.
'Dude, you don't use coasters, either?' Finn had said in a conspirational whisper.
Blaine had looked up at him, a pleasant smile on his face. 'I guess not.'
'They're stupid! I hate them.' Finn shot a glance at Kurt's back, now busy chatting with Carole as he cut up the vegetables. 'But you should totally use one, or mom'll have a fit.'
'No.'
Finn blinked. 'I mean, she'll be really upset.'
'She'll be fine, I assure you.' Blaine continued to smile, his hands clasped neatly in his lap.'
'Haha yeah. But seriously, you should use a coaster.' Finn felt a stirring of irritation. Why the hell was he defending the damn things? It wasn't like he cared, except, there was totally going to be a liquid rim circle and that kind of sucked. Especially if he could have been the one to stop it. 'I'll get you one.'
'Nah.'
Finn could feel his temper rising now. 'Dude, it'll mark the table!'
'The table will be fine.'
'But-'
'Here, Blaine,' Kurt said appearing at his elbow. 'I got you a coaster.'
'Thank you, Kurt.' Blaine looked up at him, adulation on his face. 'I was just asking Finn where they were kept.'
'What the hell?' Finn looked back and forth between the two. 'No, you weren't.'
'Perhaps you should get Finn something to cool him down? His face looks a little red.' Blaine sipped at his tea demurely as Kurt rolled his eyes at Finn, and made his way back over to Carole.
'Hey! That was not cool,' said Finn with a glare.
Blaine seemed to consider this, his chin jutted out in concentration. Then his features settled back into that pleasant countenace. Slender fingers cupped round the mug, lifting it and placing it to the side.
Off the coaster onto the table.
*
Kurt hadn't seemed to think this was that big of a deal, even when Finn had shown him, Burt and Carole the green-tinged circle that had claimed the table. In fact, Kurt had got pretty damn pissed about it.
'Once again your latent homophobia raises its overlarge and empty head,' Kurt had said with a curl of his lip.
Burt had given Finn an odd look and advised perhaps Finn was too old to playing tattle tale and his mom had just ruffled his hair and told him that he'd get used to Blaine eventually. Even Rachel had thought Finn was overeacting. Everyone had. Except Puck.
'So, what? You don't like him?’ Puck asked absently, flipping through Penthouse and marking his favourite pages for later.
‘It's not-- I mean,’ Finn stopped, ‘there’s something…weird about him.’
‘Oh? Ah, man. I know what this is. I was the same when this brat looked at Sarah once when I was picking her up from school. Punched that kid’s lights right out.’
‘Kurt’s not a little sister, Puck. This is important!’
‘Of course, then the police came round. "Why did you assault a minor, Mr. Puckerman”, “He can’t help the direction of his lazy eye, Mr. Puckerman”, “He’s only seven, Mr. Pu”-’
'It's not like that!' Finn flopped down onto the bed. 'The other day, he made me watch Grey's Anatomy!'
Finn waited for the scorn. The ridicule.
Puck suprised him.
'Dude,' said Puck slowly. 'You're serious?'
'Yeah,' whispered Finn. 'The one about Izzie and Alex's blossoming friendship.'
'That's like all of them.'
'And the Ethiopian tubes.'
Puck punched his palm. 'There's something wrong here!'
'I know, I told you!' said Finn, delighted. Finally, someone was taking him seriously.
Puck scratched his chin. 'But what do we do?'
'We watch him,' said Finn, determined. 'We watch him and we log stuff.'
'And then what? We send the fucking dossier to the university to test if he's evil?'
'Yes.'
Puck shrugged. 'Sounds legit.'
*
'It's a shame that your tyre blew out,' tutted Blaine, gripping the steering wheel.
'Yes,' muttered Finn. 'All four of them.'
'Remarkable coincidence.'
'Remarkable,' said Finn, scowling.
'It's a good thing I could give you a ride to school. You don't want to miss math!'
'I wouldn't mind, actually--'
'And don't you worry, Finnegans Wake--'
'Finn.'
'We'll have time to stop off for breakfast!' said Blaine cheerfully, squinting his eyes. It looked like a parody of a smile, but Finn had seen him pull that strange expression when singing, so he guessed it was cool.
'Thank God!' he said, relieved. 'I thought I was going to miss my sausage biscuit!'
Blaine immediately pulled a stricken face. 'Oh, no.'
'What's wrong?' he asked, perturbed.
'I'm afraid that on the Blaine Bus, we only serve Starbucks.'
'But I hate Starbucks!' protested Finn.
'The menus were printed out some time ago and have to go through our committee for any changes,' said Blaine. He gestured for Finn to open the glove compartment. 'Take one and see.'
Finn reluctantly extricated one of the cards from the tastefully-stencilled rubber band. In graceful script on a starched ivory background that would have made Patrick Bateman weep with envy, read the menu:
La voiture de Blaine Anderson
pour commencer: petite vanilla bean scone
Plat principal: Strawberry and blueberry yoghurt parfait
Le café: A delectable choice of salted caramel mocha or spiced pumpkin latte
'Dude,' he whispered, 'the fuck is this? I don't understand half of it.'
'It's the menu,' said Blaine, smiling. 'Also, swearing is forbidden in my car.'
'I don't want any of this! There's salt in the coffee!'
'In the mocha.'
'Look,' said Finn. He threw the card back into the glove compartment despite the disapproving glare from Blaine. 'That's nice and all, but I'll just get my sausage biscuit from McDonalds, you get your salt coffee and we'll be cool.'
Blaine sighed. 'Sure.'
'I'm glad we could--'
'Just write a letter to the committee today and we'll try and push it through. They'll give their decision within 48 hours, so if you hurry you can be enjoying your McDonalds food by Wednesday. Oh, look. We're here!' He stopped the car outside Starbucks. 'I suggest you order quickly. We have possibly three minutes before we get a ticket for parking here and I do so love to take my time with the chocolate sprinkles.'
*
Today at 08:15 hours, Blaine made me drink coffee. Not even real coffee but something with like salt and that weird takeaway sauce in it. He smiled when I finished it so I was worrying he might have poisoned it and used the salt to disguise the taste of poison (unless the salt was the poison) then he smiled at a passing kid. He may possibly be thinking about bodysnatching kids. Must warn Puck.
'Finn,' said Mr. Schuester. 'Finn, we're trying to decide on which Journey song we're using this week. Your input would be nice.'
Finn looked up from his diary, blinking. 'Sorry, what?'
The other kids all stared at him.
'I think he's writing about me,' said Brittany. 'I can see that doodle in the margin--'
'No, that's me,' said Santana.
'Actually, it's Rachel!' said Finn indignantly.
Rachel looked down at her chest sadly. He felt bad, so made the curves bigger. She smiled in delight.
'You're-- you're doodling when we have sectionals coming up in two weeks?' asked Schuester. 'I'm very disappointed in you, Finn. Blaine has had to step into your shoes and make every decision for the past couple of weeks because you can't be bothered.' He came over and stroked Finn's hair. 'What's wrong with you, champ?'
Blaine stood up and walked over. He gently removed Schue's hand from Finn's head and placed it behind his own head. 'There, that's better.'
Mr. Schuester smiled, rubbing Blaine's ear tenderly. 'He's amazing.'
'He sure is,' sighed Kurt happily.
'He's the greatest,' said Mike.
'I want him to stroke my ears,' said Brittany.
Santana cast her an annoyed look, then appeared to agree. 'He should stroke both our ears,' she decided. 'At the same time.'
'Hot,' whispered Brittany.
Finn looked to Rachel. 'Ate too, Brute?'
Rachel shrugged. 'Have you heard him on that Keane song? I cried, Finn. I cried.'
'But you always cry,' he reasoned.
Rachel wasn't listening. She stared at Blaine, who smiled at her then turned to Finn, his smile slipping off his face. 'Join us, Finn.'
He set his jaw. 'Never.'
'You don't want to join us in this group number?' asked Mike. 'Why are you being so unreasonable, Finn?'
'But it's weird!' snapped Finn. 'I don't think it's going to work for sectionals!'
'Please,' said Rachel. 'It's a great choice by Blaine. O Fortuna is a classic.'
'I can't understand why you like the choreography!' said Finn. 'It's just us holding Blaine aloft on our shoulders.'
Blaine shrugged. 'Guys, we have to make allowances for Finn.'
'He's only just learning to write,' said Kurt.
To Finn's horror, everyone laughed. He was mustering himself to give a snappy comeback when Puck burst into the room, eyes wild, mohican in disarray. 'Finn!' he gasped. 'Finn! I have something to tell you!'
Finn jumped up from his chair, clutching his logbook tightly. As he hurried from the room, he shot a glance back and was chilled to the bone at the darkness in Blaine's eyes. The other boy stood staring at him, with Schuester curled at his feet.
Finn ran.
*
Puck looked furtively around the lockers, checking that they were alone. He patted Finn down.
'Dude, what the hell?'
'Sorry. I just see them do that in cop shows a lot, so I thought...'
'I'm on your side!'
'That's what they always say and then they're wearing a wire.' He flicked his head. 'I need you to crouch.'
'What? No!' Finn shoved him away. 'Why would I be taping this conversation, you dick?'
'I've seen your TiVO. You'll record anything.'
'I'm not wearing a wire, for fuck's sake! Will you just tell me what you have to tell me? And if it's just about the wire, I'm punching you in the chest.'
'It's not just the wire,' said Puck. 'I did some research.'
'Right.'
'Really cool research, like they do in films. I even went to the library.'
'Right.'
'And I got lost in the Painful Lives section, which was really traumatic. So I asked the librarian to help me solve the mystery.'
'Y-you asked the goddamn librarian?' spluttered Finn.
'Chill! She was totally into it. And me, I mean after she had her hearing aid turned on.' Puck waggled his brows. 'GILF, yeah?'
'Will you just--' Finn clutched at his hair. 'What did you find out about Blaine?'
'Well, you know that gay boarding school that Blaine came from? I told her to like Google it and stuff and you know what she found?'
'No, I don't know. Because you're taking a decade to tell me.'
'I'm setting the scene!' Puck leant forward. 'There is no Dalton!'
'What-- What? There totally is! We competed against them! And Kurt went to school there, Puck!'
'That's what I thought. So I went to the place, you owe me gas money for that by the way, and that's when I saw it. An old abondoned building, man. All ramshackle and shit. And I found this sign.' Puck leant even closer and Finn took a step back as Puck's forehead grazed his chin. 'It said--'
'Can you switch off the flashlight? It's daytime.'
'For god's sake. Talk about killing the damn moment!' Puck flicked off the switch and removed the flashlight from under his jaw. 'It said Dalton Academy... home for the criminally insane!'
'What?'
'I know, right?' Puck gave an excited clap, then frowned at his hands and shoved them into his pockets. 'Apparently it closed down in 1978. For mysterious reasons.'
'Like what?'
'Er, abestos or something.'
'That's not that mysterious.'
'I feel that you're missing a lot of points here.'
'But-- but all the kids there! The teachers! Where did they all come from?'
Puck shrugged. 'Maybe they were ghosts. Or zombies.'
'Don't be ridiculous! Zombies aren't real.'
'That's what you're getting from this?'
'I don't want to discuss our zombie escape plan right now. Put the diagram away. The point is, Blaine's like... like David Blaine or something!'
They stared at each other.
'No fucking way,' gasped Puck. 'They're brothers.'
'Blaine Blaine, though.' Finn bit his lip. 'Really?'
'Cousins,' decided Puck. 'He has that strange look but his face is a bit more normal. Yeah, cousins.'
'Dude,' said Finn, grinning. 'We've solved the mystery.'
'What now?' asked Puck.
He frowned. 'I'll confront Blaine about this tomorrow morning. He's going to some recital with Kurt tonight, so I don't want to blow it all up yet.'
'Cool. And ask him to teach you some magic tricks.'
'I will.'
*
It was hard to get to sleep that night. Finn's dreams were troubled: he kept dreaming of elevators crushing people and David Blaine in a perspex box, staring at him hungrily. Then he looked away, and back, and there was Blaine in the box. Smiling.
He sat up in bed, gasping.
Just a dream.
He watched the shadows creeping across the room, then picked up his cell and checked the time. 4:48am. Great.
He lay back down in bed and attempted to go back asleep. He needed his wits about him for the morning. He had practised his speech so many times: Blaine, I want to talk with you. It's about magicians. Ha! Yes, we know all about you. He'd be kind. After all, Kurt still loved the little freak and stuff. I just really want you to start using coasters and if you could stop giving me salt coffee, that'd be neat. We can be friends and stuff. And also, if you ever hurt Kurt, I'm going to fuck you up, Harry Potter powers or not.
And then he'd make overtures of friendship: Do you have any good card tricks?
It'd be great. Everything would be fine and beautiful and nothing would--
There came a tapping.
'Like someone's rapping,' he thought in horror.
Rapping at his window.
'Son of a whore!' he gasped, shock crashing through him. For hanging upside down outside his window, was none other than Blaine.
He backed away from the apparition, gasping in horror. He fell off the edge of the bed and continued to back away. Then he remembered that he was bigger than Blaine, and Finn Hudson, the jock, and rose shakily to his feet. 'Stop hanging off my window or I'm gonna punch you!' he shouted.
From the next room there came weak little fists banging on the wall. 'Shut up, Finn!'
'Hush, Kurt. I got this!' He walked over to the window, where Blaine remained hanging upside-down, smiling. 'Fuck off, Blaine! Get off my window!'
Blaine winked at him.
He punched the window. 'Get--off--my--window!'
Blaine shook his head slowly. Damnit! This was worse than the coaster incident. But-- This was it! This was proof! If Kurt could see that Blaine was a creepy weirdo that creeped he'd so dump him and everything would be back to normal!
'Kurt! Kurt!' Finn said backing away, his eyes locked on Blaine. 'You need to see this!'
For a moment, Finn thought Kurt had decided to ignore him and go back to sleep but then he appeared in the doorway, sleep mask in hand and an angry expression on his face. 'Look, I told you, you need to clean your own sheets--'
'It's Blaine!'
Kurt blinked. 'You-- you dreamed about Blaine?'
'Oh, no, gross. Well, kinda. But his cousin. Or maybe not his cousin because he is like, possibly Dracula now or something.'
Kurt stared. 'You woke me up to witness your psychotic break?'
'Dude, if you would--'
'No, Finn! You're going to listen to me. You've been horrible to Blaine since he started at McKinley, and once again it's all about your feelings, never mind how it's cutting me up to see my brother and my boyfriend at each other's throats! And it's all your fault, because Blaine's tried with you, he really has! He even took you for coffee and you act like it was torture!'
'The salt, Kurt!'
'I don't want to hear about the salt for the hundreth time!' Kurt snapped. He slapped his hands together. 'I don't know what your problem is but it has to stop. Did you ever think how hard this is for Blaine? It was a huge step for him to leave the protection of Dalton!'
'About that--'
'What is going on with you, Finn! You've been distant with Rachel, slacking off in glee club and this being constantly rude to my boyfriend is too much! Do you even care about my feelings? At all?'
Finn clutched his fists in frustration as Kurt railroaded on. He shot a glance towards the window.
Blaine waved.
'Dude, will you just look!' cried Finn, pointing at the window.
'I will not legitimise your stupid attempts at sidetracking this argument!' snapped Kurt.
'Dude! He's making hand gestures at you! Rude ones!'
'What? Who? You are such an idiot, Finn!'
At a loss, Finn grabbed him and hauled him bodily over to the window. 'Look, Kurt!'
'There's nothing out there,' said Kurt, scowling.
Finn pulled him aside and stared out of the window. There was no sign of Blaine.
'But-- but I saw him!' Finn whimpered. 'He was here, Kurt. Blaine He was hanging, like, upside down and-- I don't understand.'
'Finn, maybe you're sick,' said Kurt worriedly. 'Just get some sleep, okay?'
'Yeah...' he muttered, unwilling to argue any further. 'Maybe-- maybe it was a cheese dream?
'Do you want some warm milk?' Kurt asked gently.
'With cinnamon?'
'Yes,' said Kurt, patting his shoulder. 'With cinnamon.'
Finn sank down onto the bed. 'I'm sorry, Kurt. I'm really-- I don't want to fight.'
'I know,' said Kurt. 'Look, let's just forget it. I'll get your milk. Don't worry, Finn.'
Finn placed his head in his hands as Kurt left the room. God, he must really must be losing it. There had to be a reasonable explanation for all this. And come on, Puck, had been the one to go and check on Dalton. Puck! He probably got lost and ended up in the theater or something.
Finn curled up into the comforter and laid back. Maybe after he had his talk with Blaine everything would go back to normal. He had a lot of apologising to do.
*
Finn groaned and blinked in the harsh sunlight. He glanced at his alarm clock: 10am. He'd slept in, though he'd left the window uncovered so he could keep a watch on it. God, his head throbbed. Maybe Kurt was right; maybe he was coming down with something. Blaine might possibly be evil, but he couldn't levitate.
He staggered out of bed, moving to the window to close the curtains and get some more sleep. May as well use it as an excuse to stay in bed till dinner.
He stopped midway through pulling the curtain across, suddenly awake, his mouth dropping open in terror.
A thick layer of hair gel, like a slug's trail, glistened across the window pane.
Chapter 2
Author: mothergoddamn & rebness
Pairing/characters: Blaine/Kurt, Finn Hudson and Puck.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Finn is an easygoing guy who believes the best in everyone. But when Blaine Anderson begins to ingratiate himself into the Hudmels' lives, he can't ignore the strange events that occur. Just what exactly is wrong with Blaine? And can Finn save Kurt?
Author Note: Please note, we actually like Blaine. Set before 3x05.
There's Something Wrong With Blaine
Chapter 1
Finn Hudson's life was awesome. He had the girl of his dreams, he was quarterback again, his mom was happy and he had a new family. Everything was going great.
And then? Then there was Blaine.
Okay, yeah, sure. Blaine was nice and stuff and Kurt really liked him and he didn't even seem to mind that he dressed like a Nickeloedon presenter and sang everything. All that was totally cool but-- there was something off about Blaine.
It had started off small, nothing too troubling, but it had stuck with Finn for some reason. Jarred him.
It had been three weeks since the first incident. Kurt had been pottering around in the kitchen, leaving Finn and Blaine alone to chat and drink their green tea latte and Nesquick milkshake respectively.
'Dude, you don't use coasters, either?' Finn had said in a conspirational whisper.
Blaine had looked up at him, a pleasant smile on his face. 'I guess not.'
'They're stupid! I hate them.' Finn shot a glance at Kurt's back, now busy chatting with Carole as he cut up the vegetables. 'But you should totally use one, or mom'll have a fit.'
'No.'
Finn blinked. 'I mean, she'll be really upset.'
'She'll be fine, I assure you.' Blaine continued to smile, his hands clasped neatly in his lap.'
'Haha yeah. But seriously, you should use a coaster.' Finn felt a stirring of irritation. Why the hell was he defending the damn things? It wasn't like he cared, except, there was totally going to be a liquid rim circle and that kind of sucked. Especially if he could have been the one to stop it. 'I'll get you one.'
'Nah.'
Finn could feel his temper rising now. 'Dude, it'll mark the table!'
'The table will be fine.'
'But-'
'Here, Blaine,' Kurt said appearing at his elbow. 'I got you a coaster.'
'Thank you, Kurt.' Blaine looked up at him, adulation on his face. 'I was just asking Finn where they were kept.'
'What the hell?' Finn looked back and forth between the two. 'No, you weren't.'
'Perhaps you should get Finn something to cool him down? His face looks a little red.' Blaine sipped at his tea demurely as Kurt rolled his eyes at Finn, and made his way back over to Carole.
'Hey! That was not cool,' said Finn with a glare.
Blaine seemed to consider this, his chin jutted out in concentration. Then his features settled back into that pleasant countenace. Slender fingers cupped round the mug, lifting it and placing it to the side.
Off the coaster onto the table.
*
Kurt hadn't seemed to think this was that big of a deal, even when Finn had shown him, Burt and Carole the green-tinged circle that had claimed the table. In fact, Kurt had got pretty damn pissed about it.
'Once again your latent homophobia raises its overlarge and empty head,' Kurt had said with a curl of his lip.
Burt had given Finn an odd look and advised perhaps Finn was too old to playing tattle tale and his mom had just ruffled his hair and told him that he'd get used to Blaine eventually. Even Rachel had thought Finn was overeacting. Everyone had. Except Puck.
'So, what? You don't like him?’ Puck asked absently, flipping through Penthouse and marking his favourite pages for later.
‘It's not-- I mean,’ Finn stopped, ‘there’s something…weird about him.’
‘Oh? Ah, man. I know what this is. I was the same when this brat looked at Sarah once when I was picking her up from school. Punched that kid’s lights right out.’
‘Kurt’s not a little sister, Puck. This is important!’
‘Of course, then the police came round. "Why did you assault a minor, Mr. Puckerman”, “He can’t help the direction of his lazy eye, Mr. Puckerman”, “He’s only seven, Mr. Pu”-’
'It's not like that!' Finn flopped down onto the bed. 'The other day, he made me watch Grey's Anatomy!'
Finn waited for the scorn. The ridicule.
Puck suprised him.
'Dude,' said Puck slowly. 'You're serious?'
'Yeah,' whispered Finn. 'The one about Izzie and Alex's blossoming friendship.'
'That's like all of them.'
'And the Ethiopian tubes.'
Puck punched his palm. 'There's something wrong here!'
'I know, I told you!' said Finn, delighted. Finally, someone was taking him seriously.
Puck scratched his chin. 'But what do we do?'
'We watch him,' said Finn, determined. 'We watch him and we log stuff.'
'And then what? We send the fucking dossier to the university to test if he's evil?'
'Yes.'
Puck shrugged. 'Sounds legit.'
*
'It's a shame that your tyre blew out,' tutted Blaine, gripping the steering wheel.
'Yes,' muttered Finn. 'All four of them.'
'Remarkable coincidence.'
'Remarkable,' said Finn, scowling.
'It's a good thing I could give you a ride to school. You don't want to miss math!'
'I wouldn't mind, actually--'
'And don't you worry, Finnegans Wake--'
'Finn.'
'We'll have time to stop off for breakfast!' said Blaine cheerfully, squinting his eyes. It looked like a parody of a smile, but Finn had seen him pull that strange expression when singing, so he guessed it was cool.
'Thank God!' he said, relieved. 'I thought I was going to miss my sausage biscuit!'
Blaine immediately pulled a stricken face. 'Oh, no.'
'What's wrong?' he asked, perturbed.
'I'm afraid that on the Blaine Bus, we only serve Starbucks.'
'But I hate Starbucks!' protested Finn.
'The menus were printed out some time ago and have to go through our committee for any changes,' said Blaine. He gestured for Finn to open the glove compartment. 'Take one and see.'
Finn reluctantly extricated one of the cards from the tastefully-stencilled rubber band. In graceful script on a starched ivory background that would have made Patrick Bateman weep with envy, read the menu:
La voiture de Blaine Anderson
pour commencer: petite vanilla bean scone
Plat principal: Strawberry and blueberry yoghurt parfait
Le café: A delectable choice of salted caramel mocha or spiced pumpkin latte
'Dude,' he whispered, 'the fuck is this? I don't understand half of it.'
'It's the menu,' said Blaine, smiling. 'Also, swearing is forbidden in my car.'
'I don't want any of this! There's salt in the coffee!'
'In the mocha.'
'Look,' said Finn. He threw the card back into the glove compartment despite the disapproving glare from Blaine. 'That's nice and all, but I'll just get my sausage biscuit from McDonalds, you get your salt coffee and we'll be cool.'
Blaine sighed. 'Sure.'
'I'm glad we could--'
'Just write a letter to the committee today and we'll try and push it through. They'll give their decision within 48 hours, so if you hurry you can be enjoying your McDonalds food by Wednesday. Oh, look. We're here!' He stopped the car outside Starbucks. 'I suggest you order quickly. We have possibly three minutes before we get a ticket for parking here and I do so love to take my time with the chocolate sprinkles.'
*
Today at 08:15 hours, Blaine made me drink coffee. Not even real coffee but something with like salt and that weird takeaway sauce in it. He smiled when I finished it so I was worrying he might have poisoned it and used the salt to disguise the taste of poison (unless the salt was the poison) then he smiled at a passing kid. He may possibly be thinking about bodysnatching kids. Must warn Puck.
'Finn,' said Mr. Schuester. 'Finn, we're trying to decide on which Journey song we're using this week. Your input would be nice.'
Finn looked up from his diary, blinking. 'Sorry, what?'
The other kids all stared at him.
'I think he's writing about me,' said Brittany. 'I can see that doodle in the margin--'
'No, that's me,' said Santana.
'Actually, it's Rachel!' said Finn indignantly.
Rachel looked down at her chest sadly. He felt bad, so made the curves bigger. She smiled in delight.
'You're-- you're doodling when we have sectionals coming up in two weeks?' asked Schuester. 'I'm very disappointed in you, Finn. Blaine has had to step into your shoes and make every decision for the past couple of weeks because you can't be bothered.' He came over and stroked Finn's hair. 'What's wrong with you, champ?'
Blaine stood up and walked over. He gently removed Schue's hand from Finn's head and placed it behind his own head. 'There, that's better.'
Mr. Schuester smiled, rubbing Blaine's ear tenderly. 'He's amazing.'
'He sure is,' sighed Kurt happily.
'He's the greatest,' said Mike.
'I want him to stroke my ears,' said Brittany.
Santana cast her an annoyed look, then appeared to agree. 'He should stroke both our ears,' she decided. 'At the same time.'
'Hot,' whispered Brittany.
Finn looked to Rachel. 'Ate too, Brute?'
Rachel shrugged. 'Have you heard him on that Keane song? I cried, Finn. I cried.'
'But you always cry,' he reasoned.
Rachel wasn't listening. She stared at Blaine, who smiled at her then turned to Finn, his smile slipping off his face. 'Join us, Finn.'
He set his jaw. 'Never.'
'You don't want to join us in this group number?' asked Mike. 'Why are you being so unreasonable, Finn?'
'But it's weird!' snapped Finn. 'I don't think it's going to work for sectionals!'
'Please,' said Rachel. 'It's a great choice by Blaine. O Fortuna is a classic.'
'I can't understand why you like the choreography!' said Finn. 'It's just us holding Blaine aloft on our shoulders.'
Blaine shrugged. 'Guys, we have to make allowances for Finn.'
'He's only just learning to write,' said Kurt.
To Finn's horror, everyone laughed. He was mustering himself to give a snappy comeback when Puck burst into the room, eyes wild, mohican in disarray. 'Finn!' he gasped. 'Finn! I have something to tell you!'
Finn jumped up from his chair, clutching his logbook tightly. As he hurried from the room, he shot a glance back and was chilled to the bone at the darkness in Blaine's eyes. The other boy stood staring at him, with Schuester curled at his feet.
Finn ran.
*
Puck looked furtively around the lockers, checking that they were alone. He patted Finn down.
'Dude, what the hell?'
'Sorry. I just see them do that in cop shows a lot, so I thought...'
'I'm on your side!'
'That's what they always say and then they're wearing a wire.' He flicked his head. 'I need you to crouch.'
'What? No!' Finn shoved him away. 'Why would I be taping this conversation, you dick?'
'I've seen your TiVO. You'll record anything.'
'I'm not wearing a wire, for fuck's sake! Will you just tell me what you have to tell me? And if it's just about the wire, I'm punching you in the chest.'
'It's not just the wire,' said Puck. 'I did some research.'
'Right.'
'Really cool research, like they do in films. I even went to the library.'
'Right.'
'And I got lost in the Painful Lives section, which was really traumatic. So I asked the librarian to help me solve the mystery.'
'Y-you asked the goddamn librarian?' spluttered Finn.
'Chill! She was totally into it. And me, I mean after she had her hearing aid turned on.' Puck waggled his brows. 'GILF, yeah?'
'Will you just--' Finn clutched at his hair. 'What did you find out about Blaine?'
'Well, you know that gay boarding school that Blaine came from? I told her to like Google it and stuff and you know what she found?'
'No, I don't know. Because you're taking a decade to tell me.'
'I'm setting the scene!' Puck leant forward. 'There is no Dalton!'
'What-- What? There totally is! We competed against them! And Kurt went to school there, Puck!'
'That's what I thought. So I went to the place, you owe me gas money for that by the way, and that's when I saw it. An old abondoned building, man. All ramshackle and shit. And I found this sign.' Puck leant even closer and Finn took a step back as Puck's forehead grazed his chin. 'It said--'
'Can you switch off the flashlight? It's daytime.'
'For god's sake. Talk about killing the damn moment!' Puck flicked off the switch and removed the flashlight from under his jaw. 'It said Dalton Academy... home for the criminally insane!'
'What?'
'I know, right?' Puck gave an excited clap, then frowned at his hands and shoved them into his pockets. 'Apparently it closed down in 1978. For mysterious reasons.'
'Like what?'
'Er, abestos or something.'
'That's not that mysterious.'
'I feel that you're missing a lot of points here.'
'But-- but all the kids there! The teachers! Where did they all come from?'
Puck shrugged. 'Maybe they were ghosts. Or zombies.'
'Don't be ridiculous! Zombies aren't real.'
'That's what you're getting from this?'
'I don't want to discuss our zombie escape plan right now. Put the diagram away. The point is, Blaine's like... like David Blaine or something!'
They stared at each other.
'No fucking way,' gasped Puck. 'They're brothers.'
'Blaine Blaine, though.' Finn bit his lip. 'Really?'
'Cousins,' decided Puck. 'He has that strange look but his face is a bit more normal. Yeah, cousins.'
'Dude,' said Finn, grinning. 'We've solved the mystery.'
'What now?' asked Puck.
He frowned. 'I'll confront Blaine about this tomorrow morning. He's going to some recital with Kurt tonight, so I don't want to blow it all up yet.'
'Cool. And ask him to teach you some magic tricks.'
'I will.'
*
It was hard to get to sleep that night. Finn's dreams were troubled: he kept dreaming of elevators crushing people and David Blaine in a perspex box, staring at him hungrily. Then he looked away, and back, and there was Blaine in the box. Smiling.
He sat up in bed, gasping.
Just a dream.
He watched the shadows creeping across the room, then picked up his cell and checked the time. 4:48am. Great.
He lay back down in bed and attempted to go back asleep. He needed his wits about him for the morning. He had practised his speech so many times: Blaine, I want to talk with you. It's about magicians. Ha! Yes, we know all about you. He'd be kind. After all, Kurt still loved the little freak and stuff. I just really want you to start using coasters and if you could stop giving me salt coffee, that'd be neat. We can be friends and stuff. And also, if you ever hurt Kurt, I'm going to fuck you up, Harry Potter powers or not.
And then he'd make overtures of friendship: Do you have any good card tricks?
It'd be great. Everything would be fine and beautiful and nothing would--
There came a tapping.
'Like someone's rapping,' he thought in horror.
Rapping at his window.
'Son of a whore!' he gasped, shock crashing through him. For hanging upside down outside his window, was none other than Blaine.
He backed away from the apparition, gasping in horror. He fell off the edge of the bed and continued to back away. Then he remembered that he was bigger than Blaine, and Finn Hudson, the jock, and rose shakily to his feet. 'Stop hanging off my window or I'm gonna punch you!' he shouted.
From the next room there came weak little fists banging on the wall. 'Shut up, Finn!'
'Hush, Kurt. I got this!' He walked over to the window, where Blaine remained hanging upside-down, smiling. 'Fuck off, Blaine! Get off my window!'
Blaine winked at him.
He punched the window. 'Get--off--my--window!'
Blaine shook his head slowly. Damnit! This was worse than the coaster incident. But-- This was it! This was proof! If Kurt could see that Blaine was a creepy weirdo that creeped he'd so dump him and everything would be back to normal!
'Kurt! Kurt!' Finn said backing away, his eyes locked on Blaine. 'You need to see this!'
For a moment, Finn thought Kurt had decided to ignore him and go back to sleep but then he appeared in the doorway, sleep mask in hand and an angry expression on his face. 'Look, I told you, you need to clean your own sheets--'
'It's Blaine!'
Kurt blinked. 'You-- you dreamed about Blaine?'
'Oh, no, gross. Well, kinda. But his cousin. Or maybe not his cousin because he is like, possibly Dracula now or something.'
Kurt stared. 'You woke me up to witness your psychotic break?'
'Dude, if you would--'
'No, Finn! You're going to listen to me. You've been horrible to Blaine since he started at McKinley, and once again it's all about your feelings, never mind how it's cutting me up to see my brother and my boyfriend at each other's throats! And it's all your fault, because Blaine's tried with you, he really has! He even took you for coffee and you act like it was torture!'
'The salt, Kurt!'
'I don't want to hear about the salt for the hundreth time!' Kurt snapped. He slapped his hands together. 'I don't know what your problem is but it has to stop. Did you ever think how hard this is for Blaine? It was a huge step for him to leave the protection of Dalton!'
'About that--'
'What is going on with you, Finn! You've been distant with Rachel, slacking off in glee club and this being constantly rude to my boyfriend is too much! Do you even care about my feelings? At all?'
Finn clutched his fists in frustration as Kurt railroaded on. He shot a glance towards the window.
Blaine waved.
'Dude, will you just look!' cried Finn, pointing at the window.
'I will not legitimise your stupid attempts at sidetracking this argument!' snapped Kurt.
'Dude! He's making hand gestures at you! Rude ones!'
'What? Who? You are such an idiot, Finn!'
At a loss, Finn grabbed him and hauled him bodily over to the window. 'Look, Kurt!'
'There's nothing out there,' said Kurt, scowling.
Finn pulled him aside and stared out of the window. There was no sign of Blaine.
'But-- but I saw him!' Finn whimpered. 'He was here, Kurt. Blaine He was hanging, like, upside down and-- I don't understand.'
'Finn, maybe you're sick,' said Kurt worriedly. 'Just get some sleep, okay?'
'Yeah...' he muttered, unwilling to argue any further. 'Maybe-- maybe it was a cheese dream?
'Do you want some warm milk?' Kurt asked gently.
'With cinnamon?'
'Yes,' said Kurt, patting his shoulder. 'With cinnamon.'
Finn sank down onto the bed. 'I'm sorry, Kurt. I'm really-- I don't want to fight.'
'I know,' said Kurt. 'Look, let's just forget it. I'll get your milk. Don't worry, Finn.'
Finn placed his head in his hands as Kurt left the room. God, he must really must be losing it. There had to be a reasonable explanation for all this. And come on, Puck, had been the one to go and check on Dalton. Puck! He probably got lost and ended up in the theater or something.
Finn curled up into the comforter and laid back. Maybe after he had his talk with Blaine everything would go back to normal. He had a lot of apologising to do.
*
Finn groaned and blinked in the harsh sunlight. He glanced at his alarm clock: 10am. He'd slept in, though he'd left the window uncovered so he could keep a watch on it. God, his head throbbed. Maybe Kurt was right; maybe he was coming down with something. Blaine might possibly be evil, but he couldn't levitate.
He staggered out of bed, moving to the window to close the curtains and get some more sleep. May as well use it as an excuse to stay in bed till dinner.
He stopped midway through pulling the curtain across, suddenly awake, his mouth dropping open in terror.
A thick layer of hair gel, like a slug's trail, glistened across the window pane.
Chapter 2