(no subject)
so i missed a little bit of school to go see my mother. i just had to see her. she was in a little bit of pain so they gave her some pain relief aka pain killers. but before all that we played some cards, which was nice. she kept insisting that i was cheating. it made me smile. after they gave her the medication she was still trying to play the game while all drugged up. i was trying so hard not to laugh. she's falling asleep, refusing to let go of the cards and keeps telling my father and i this "i'll take a nap once i finish this hand." my mother is something else.
no new news in terms of where she's at. i want her to come home, but that won't happen for a while. i want to go on a family vacation right now.
i've been eating nonstop. i'm an emotional eater and guess what? i'm all fucked up with emotions. eating is making me sick. i refuse to eat anymore for today. fuck food. whoever said you needed food to live was an asshole and i will kick them in the face.
i had a temper tantrum this morning. i threw an open package of Ritz crackers on the floor. that was not a bright move on my part. so i spent another ten minutes cleaning them up. i cancelled breakfast with sammy. i need to call karen back to make sure she's not a bitch and goes around telling everyone about my mother's condition. she can be a real jerk like that and not know when to keep her mouth shut. in which case it's my fault for having the slip up, she caught me at an emotional moment.
still haven't done any homework. i'll do it later, when i well feel like it. i'm going to take a short nap and go see my mother again.
friday i've been invited to a party. well more like an occassion for everyone to get drunk at, but i really don't want to go. i'm not a party animal by any means, and i refuse to make myself look like a drunken baboons ass like everyone else around me. i might be miserable, but i refuse to drink to change that factor. my problems will still be with me in the morning. i'll just tell the girl i can't go, and instead i'll come home and read a good book and go to bed. my ideal "good time". that and watching movies with people until we all pass out. that's fun as well.
i'm rambling.
tomorrow will be better, i hope.
no new news in terms of where she's at. i want her to come home, but that won't happen for a while. i want to go on a family vacation right now.
i've been eating nonstop. i'm an emotional eater and guess what? i'm all fucked up with emotions. eating is making me sick. i refuse to eat anymore for today. fuck food. whoever said you needed food to live was an asshole and i will kick them in the face.
i had a temper tantrum this morning. i threw an open package of Ritz crackers on the floor. that was not a bright move on my part. so i spent another ten minutes cleaning them up. i cancelled breakfast with sammy. i need to call karen back to make sure she's not a bitch and goes around telling everyone about my mother's condition. she can be a real jerk like that and not know when to keep her mouth shut. in which case it's my fault for having the slip up, she caught me at an emotional moment.
still haven't done any homework. i'll do it later, when i well feel like it. i'm going to take a short nap and go see my mother again.
friday i've been invited to a party. well more like an occassion for everyone to get drunk at, but i really don't want to go. i'm not a party animal by any means, and i refuse to make myself look like a drunken baboons ass like everyone else around me. i might be miserable, but i refuse to drink to change that factor. my problems will still be with me in the morning. i'll just tell the girl i can't go, and instead i'll come home and read a good book and go to bed. my ideal "good time". that and watching movies with people until we all pass out. that's fun as well.
i'm rambling.
tomorrow will be better, i hope.