blue in the face
Title: Blue In the Face
Fandom/Pairing: Good Charlotte, Benji/Joel, although it's not necessarily twincestual
Notes: I don't know what is up with me producing emo sappy crap if I try writing before noon. Totally inspired by the Alkaline Trio song of the same name, although I interpreted the lines a lot differently than Mr. Skiba intended.
Just one more line
I repeat over and over again till I'm blue in the face
Every night, at bedtime, he says, “Tomorrow.” And you smile like you believe him, and then you watch him sleep.
Sometimes, he says it before his head even hits the pillow, and you know that it’s been a bad day. He thinks the band’s breaking up, they can’t handle the stress, none of them can. Or he hears that Mom’s had a relapse, or that no one’s heard from Josh in a month.
And sometimes, he’s nearly asleep and he hasn’t said it, and you’re ok with that. But then he jerks himself awake and whispers it, too tired to put any real dedication behind the promise. And those are the nights he sleeps soundest.
It doesn’t really matter to you when he says it, or if he says it at all. You’re content to lie beside him, watching him breathe, in and out, in and out, all night long. You’re even content to watch him toss and turn, murmuring things you can’t understand and probably don’t want to.
And then one night he comes home, already crying, already screaming at you, and at the world, and at God. He hates you all. And then he sits in a corner, crying until he can’t anymore, hating himself. And you know there won’t be a “tomorrow.”
He picks himself up off the floor, scrubbing at his eyes so he can see straight to walk to the bedroom. When he lays down, you stand at the foot of the bed, watching him like you would any other night, and you don’t flinch when he pulls the trigger.
And then he’s standing next to you, wearing a smile that says, “Sorry I took so long.”
And your smile answers with, “I would have waited forever.”
Fandom/Pairing: Good Charlotte, Benji/Joel, although it's not necessarily twincestual
Notes: I don't know what is up with me producing emo sappy crap if I try writing before noon. Totally inspired by the Alkaline Trio song of the same name, although I interpreted the lines a lot differently than Mr. Skiba intended.
Just one more line
I repeat over and over again till I'm blue in the face
Every night, at bedtime, he says, “Tomorrow.” And you smile like you believe him, and then you watch him sleep.
Sometimes, he says it before his head even hits the pillow, and you know that it’s been a bad day. He thinks the band’s breaking up, they can’t handle the stress, none of them can. Or he hears that Mom’s had a relapse, or that no one’s heard from Josh in a month.
And sometimes, he’s nearly asleep and he hasn’t said it, and you’re ok with that. But then he jerks himself awake and whispers it, too tired to put any real dedication behind the promise. And those are the nights he sleeps soundest.
It doesn’t really matter to you when he says it, or if he says it at all. You’re content to lie beside him, watching him breathe, in and out, in and out, all night long. You’re even content to watch him toss and turn, murmuring things you can’t understand and probably don’t want to.
And then one night he comes home, already crying, already screaming at you, and at the world, and at God. He hates you all. And then he sits in a corner, crying until he can’t anymore, hating himself. And you know there won’t be a “tomorrow.”
He picks himself up off the floor, scrubbing at his eyes so he can see straight to walk to the bedroom. When he lays down, you stand at the foot of the bed, watching him like you would any other night, and you don’t flinch when he pulls the trigger.
And then he’s standing next to you, wearing a smile that says, “Sorry I took so long.”
And your smile answers with, “I would have waited forever.”