I Knew It, I Knew It All Along

[god_is_on_tv]

So when I was in Japan one of our neighbors told me that she heard monkeys in her trees at night, and sometimes saw them in the mornings. I looked it up on the internet and found out that there ARE actually wild monkeys in Japan. So late at night when I'd be coming or going from one place to another and I would hear rustling in the trees I'd always be on the lookout, half expecting some psychotic monkey to jump out from a tree and chew my face off or something. Of course this never happened, but the one time I did see a monkey in a tree I screamed like a girl and ran all the way to my friend April's house. In fact I was so freaked out I stayed over there that night because I knew the monkey was still out there.

Everyone (save April) would tell me that my fear of being attacked by a monkey was completely irrational and a little ridiculous, but I stood firm in my belief that those huge ass Banana Spiders and the severly creepy japanese crickets (which, I swear, look like a cross between a spider and an American cricket) we'd see around were not the only things to be scared of I was sure that those monkeys could attack and would if the opportunity were to arise.

And now, as it seems, I was right. Which of course, doesn't surprise me because the people who lived on that base (sans April of course) were not the brightest stars in the sky.

So anyway, for my own personal gloating rights I present not one but 2 cases involving 30 victims between them.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2002/12/03/MNmonkey.DTL

http://www.japantoday.com/jp/news/366461

So let this be a lesson to you folks at home who happen to stumble on to my blog. You may think that monkeys are cute and cuddly little creatures who wear diapers and can learn to tell you that they love you in sign language but this is not true. Monkeys are evil vicious little creatures who go crazy and kill people.

And on that happy note...

Fini.