cap locks light on high
So finals are coming up. I'm nervous, but it gets me thinking about all the shit I've been through in the past year. I mean, this time last year I was.. screaming at matt, and failing school miserably. I guess, eventually, you have to surrender to the system. It makes me cring, how its just too powerful, kids who used to be the shit man, just gave up gave in. I don't blame them the pressure is almost strong as gravity itself, and dodgeing everything and being on the run is exhasting. Always trying to find loopholes.
I think I'm going to talk to D about turning himself in. Him and Amanda are together, its pretttty cute. He seems to be happier than I've seen him since Katie, we were talking about that last night, in between heated arguements over whether or not these things were shells.
Which they were.
Your wrong.
But you cant run forever, and as much as he thinks when he turns 18 everythings going to be over, its just not that easy. Everythings gone wrong for him, I have no idea where he's staying tonight. Kid worries the shit out of me. You can't run forever, and its getting harder and harder everyday.
Anyway you can never win.
Its not worth it anymore.
Sometimes I think about it, Tom and goofy Corey, and the circle kids. They think they're punks. But theyre only punks while they live in their parents house. I havent heard of them ever having to sleep on the streets. Theyre just going to fade out once we grow up.
You never see punk old ladies.
So I have court tom. and if I get drug tested yay! because I havent done anything in over a month, ever since Jut & Leyna were out of the picture it was easy.
I'm just sick of me explaining existentialism to everyone.
No one thinks theyre wrong.
No one thinks its their fault they ended up a fuck up.
Man just ugh.
I miss Val and them sometimes but I mean, they were my drug friends, they were the shit but, I'm over it and I know that if I get involved with them I might not come out again. I know they fucking hated Jess for getting out of it, and sure Jess said it was a whorehouse over there. But face the facts guys, it was. You guys arent whores, i know that I mean Val c'mon you sat there and said all this shit about how your sick of getting to drunk to give a shit,a nd just fucking everyone, but then you turned around and did it the next night. You guys knew what you were doing. Ladies is pimps too. You can't blame Jess for caring what happened to her. She was looking out for number one, and who better know how to do that than you guys. I know it was while ago but I just got to thinking about it.
So I dont know whats going to happen tommorow, tims not on and I need some efffffffin support!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whatever.
I think I'm going to talk to D about turning himself in. Him and Amanda are together, its pretttty cute. He seems to be happier than I've seen him since Katie, we were talking about that last night, in between heated arguements over whether or not these things were shells.
Which they were.
Your wrong.
But you cant run forever, and as much as he thinks when he turns 18 everythings going to be over, its just not that easy. Everythings gone wrong for him, I have no idea where he's staying tonight. Kid worries the shit out of me. You can't run forever, and its getting harder and harder everyday.
Anyway you can never win.
Its not worth it anymore.
Sometimes I think about it, Tom and goofy Corey, and the circle kids. They think they're punks. But theyre only punks while they live in their parents house. I havent heard of them ever having to sleep on the streets. Theyre just going to fade out once we grow up.
You never see punk old ladies.
So I have court tom. and if I get drug tested yay! because I havent done anything in over a month, ever since Jut & Leyna were out of the picture it was easy.
I'm just sick of me explaining existentialism to everyone.
No one thinks theyre wrong.
No one thinks its their fault they ended up a fuck up.
Man just ugh.
I miss Val and them sometimes but I mean, they were my drug friends, they were the shit but, I'm over it and I know that if I get involved with them I might not come out again. I know they fucking hated Jess for getting out of it, and sure Jess said it was a whorehouse over there. But face the facts guys, it was. You guys arent whores, i know that I mean Val c'mon you sat there and said all this shit about how your sick of getting to drunk to give a shit,a nd just fucking everyone, but then you turned around and did it the next night. You guys knew what you were doing. Ladies is pimps too. You can't blame Jess for caring what happened to her. She was looking out for number one, and who better know how to do that than you guys. I know it was while ago but I just got to thinking about it.
So I dont know whats going to happen tommorow, tims not on and I need some efffffffin support!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whatever.