Never Changes
Yeah it's almost Thanksgiving -- the time of the year to give thanks for everything you don't have that you are about to buy the next day on a one day sale. Work has been a waste of effort as of late. It hasn't been bad but it's been a lost cause trying to make money. Today I pulled a muscle apparently in my right forearm. It is fucking killing me to do anything more then type. It sucks pretty bad but it's part of life as well. My father is still unemployed and still lying to me. I couldn't believe how the scenario that I knew he'd use in my head played out to be exactly what he did. He said he had a drug test on Monday morning for this 'new job'. He took the drug test and said he'd start work Tuesday. Tuesday comes and he's supposed to work 10-5 and he calls me to tell me they haven't recieved his drug test results. I knew he was lying but I just agreed and said nothing. Supposedly last night he tells me he passed his drug test and he's starting today. He calls me again this morning at work to say that the drug tests results were inconclusive and there was a supposed masking agent in his piss from the GNC B12 supplement he buys to hide his marijuana addiction. I know he's full of shit but I'm just going to let him lie and lie about it. He is telling me the chef who is hiring him is named Chris Farnsworth. It says online that his name is John Farnsworth. He didn't know "Chef Farnsworth's" real name so he had to make one up. It's pretty sad that he knows I can do anything on the internet but he thinks I can't find that out. I guess I'm just stupid. I've lost a few friends lately. I'm not worried about it anymore either. I'm thinking it's for the best. Maybe those people are the reason why I am miserable. I talked to my mom for the first time in almost a month tonight as well. I got mixed signals from her. She seems pissed off at me for something and I'm not sure what. She seemed happy to talk to me at the same time though. Maybe she's on drugs again... I wish I were right now. I could use a good escape from this nonsense. I'm not even going to waste my time talking about my asshole for a father on here anymore right now. It's all in vein just like everything else I do. It's sad when the best part of my day is getting a magazine in the mail from Sony with the address being "John Gehrig Love Is Suicide". That must be who is getting my website some attention for the first time ever. And to think I don't have the 9 dollars to pay for my website in a week right now. Disturbed/Scum Of The Earth are playing H.O.B. on Valentines Day and Seether/Shinedown are headlining the SnoCore tour next year so that'll be nice as well. Otherwise I have no good news right now. I don't have anything to give thanks for. I have very few friends that I'm grateful for that keep me from putting a bullet in my head and I have a certain few more that make me want to put one in my head. So that all equals out in some strange way just like everything else does. I should give thanks that I have a job that I really don't like but I still have more going on then the homeless guy that is still at the McDonalds drivethru. A part of me is quite lonely right now or maybe I'm just horny. Probably just horny. The only people who aren't too busy for me are fucking looney. I'm not worth anyone's time right now so I'm used to the feeling. And for this I give thanks to internet porn.
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