(no subject)
i just hate it when people not necessarily go back on their word, but they comletely forget about something/someone, then right when u start remembering, the other person is like oh ya im a bitch and i remember too! i guess that really didnt make much sense. thats just how ive been feeling lately. not just like pissed, because im not pissed, just a little frusterated and kinda sad. i dont really know how to put this so you guys will understand. its like theres two people. and theres only one cookie. and one person wants the cookie at first, then completely forgets about it or so it seems. then that other person thinks its ok to have the cookie just because the other person forgot about it. but then that other person who forgot, remembers the cookie and is like YES YUM COOKIE!! and the other person is just sitting there like fuck man u forgot thats not cool! but apperently it is cool. cuz that first person called dibbs on that cookie first, right? maybe. im not even sure anymore. do i even want this cookie? will this other person be mad if they found out that i like the cookie and that i want it too? what would they do if they did find out? cuz of course they will eventually. is the cookie worth breaking the friendship? or is the broken friendship worth the cookie? well, lets say that this person isnt like a best best friend, but its a friend. is it worth it then? should i follow what my other friends tell me to do? i should talk to the other person shouldnt i. but its hard, because the other person is after like two OTHER cookies. and im just sitting here like, well is it ok if i have that one cookie cuz u want those other ones? of course its not. this friend isnt like that. this friend gets what she wants. this friend would probably be pissed if i took her fuckin cookie. see but should a cookie really break a friendship? i dont really think it should. maybe i need to grow up and talk to the person. i mean, i've already talked to the cookie, and it didnt help much in my situation. and on top of this, the cookie and the person are starting to talk. which is a good thing for the person, considering she doesnt know i like the cookie. but what would she do if she did know? how am i going to tell her? its obviously gotten too far with the cookie to go back now. what would the cookie do if all the sudden i was like "i cant. my friend wants you too, and i cant do that to her"? its not that easy. it's really not. it just sucks to have to like hold my feelings in, and have this other person bragging all the time about how many cookies she likes and how apperently they ALL like her too. i really like the cookie actually, but i just dont know what to do. what to say. how to talk to the other person about it. this other person is always talking about how she talked to the cookie and omg he talked back. well duh. yeah ive talked to the cookie too. i thought the cookie liked me too, but i might be wrong. the cookie and this other person have been talking lately. i dont know. maybe im just blowing this way out of proportion. i really hope so. but i know for a fact that i cant talk to the person until she brings it up. i cant just be like oh ya i like the cookie too. but so do u, so it sucks. and u called it first so i have to give up. i dont want to do that. i dont want to give up. i reallllly dont. i need someone to talk to the person for me. i hate doing that, because that just makes me seem like i dont have any guts. but in this kind of situation i dont have any balls. i dont want to talk to this person myself because what if she gets pissed? what if she gets pissed that i didnt come and talk to her sooner? this person is so hard to predict that its just hard to talk to her. and it sucks. if i had the balls i needed than this situation wouldnt have happened in the first place. i could just talk to her and hope that everything would be cool. maybe it will end up that way. i'll have to wait it out. but i dont want to wait anymore. im not gonna hide my feelings for the cookie any longer, i just dont know what to say. i've put a lot of thought into my situation, and i still dont know what to do. i know that this was long and probably hard to understand, but i needed to say something. and haha it sucks that neeither the cookie or the person will read this, but at least someone knows.