Last entry 41 weeks ago...
Someday I may put down all the hand writen journal entries that I have done in the last 8+ months.
I don't even know where to start... which is why I haven't posted since I got the internet at my farm in November.
I don't even know where to start, where to end or where to really begin what has happened to me since last April when I posted my last entry.
I guess I can do it in bullets as I don't think I have anybody that reads this anymore.
*Moved into my dream house
*Fell in love with a boy
*2 months after we had been dating, an ex-GF of his (of 3 weeks) TEXTED him and told him he was going to be a father
*Told him I would be there for him through it all. Excepting the role of step-mom I didn't originally agree on.
*MAJOR communication issues with boy
*Dated from April-mid October where communication issues and baby drama got too much.
*I got amazing job offer after applying/interviewing for said job for almost 3 months
*Left the job we BOTH worked at
*Started a real career that's nothing but great
*Kept in contact with boy to make sure he was OK during mama drama.
*Continously hurt myself (emotionally) over boy/baby drama
*Spent Christmas thinking about her due date (Dec. 22)
*Got picture text of baby on Dec. 28th. saying "She has my hands and ears"
*2 weeks spent in severe depression, with my job and niece the only thing left of me.
*Got a text tonight (01/10/10) telling me the baby ISN'T his.
That stupid girl had sworn up and down that he was the only one. That HE was the Dad. He spent the last 2 weeks with that baby with the assumption that it was his until the paternity test came up.
If it wasn't for that baby, I would happily beat that girl. Besides the fact that she fucked up my life for the last 8 months, I cannot imagine what Jacob has been going through. You DONT tell somebody that they ARE the Dad until you KNOW this. The thing that breaks my heart, no matter how much he broke mine, is that he got attached to that baby.
Going to sign off now before I talk too much about myself.
I don't even know where to start... which is why I haven't posted since I got the internet at my farm in November.
I don't even know where to start, where to end or where to really begin what has happened to me since last April when I posted my last entry.
I guess I can do it in bullets as I don't think I have anybody that reads this anymore.
*Moved into my dream house
*Fell in love with a boy
*2 months after we had been dating, an ex-GF of his (of 3 weeks) TEXTED him and told him he was going to be a father
*Told him I would be there for him through it all. Excepting the role of step-mom I didn't originally agree on.
*MAJOR communication issues with boy
*Dated from April-mid October where communication issues and baby drama got too much.
*I got amazing job offer after applying/interviewing for said job for almost 3 months
*Left the job we BOTH worked at
*Started a real career that's nothing but great
*Kept in contact with boy to make sure he was OK during mama drama.
*Continously hurt myself (emotionally) over boy/baby drama
*Spent Christmas thinking about her due date (Dec. 22)
*Got picture text of baby on Dec. 28th. saying "She has my hands and ears"
*2 weeks spent in severe depression, with my job and niece the only thing left of me.
*Got a text tonight (01/10/10) telling me the baby ISN'T his.
That stupid girl had sworn up and down that he was the only one. That HE was the Dad. He spent the last 2 weeks with that baby with the assumption that it was his until the paternity test came up.
If it wasn't for that baby, I would happily beat that girl. Besides the fact that she fucked up my life for the last 8 months, I cannot imagine what Jacob has been going through. You DONT tell somebody that they ARE the Dad until you KNOW this. The thing that breaks my heart, no matter how much he broke mine, is that he got attached to that baby.
Going to sign off now before I talk too much about myself.