Life in general
So over the last couple of weekends I have run into certain people from my past. Some of them are good some not but it makes me look at my life and think it's not too bad.
So what happens to people when they leave school? I see so many people that I knew in high school throwing their lives away. What happened to the prom queen that never left town to go to school and is now serving me my beer at a local pub. Or her boyfriend the high school jock who is now 150 lbs overweight and a bouncer at that same location.
I think to myself what did they do wrong and I do right? In high school I could only dreamed of being as pretty and popular as some of the girls in my class. But now it seems that i'm the one on top. My how the mighty have fallen. Now I consider myself to be one of the lucky few who have gotten out and were able to survive. All but one part of my life is in order. I have a job, my own place(sort of) and I consider myself to be a decent human being. Now for the hard part.
These days i always feel like something is missing. Part of it could be the lack of contact with my friends and family but most of it is a lack of feeling loved. Now i know that my friends and family love me but i'm talking about a different love. You know the love i'm talking about. The love of someone who wants to spend the rest of there life with you. I try so hard to find it but it seems to elude me everytime. I have even gone as far as going to a psychic trying to find out answer (by the way she said i'd be married within 3 years and it's been almost two) Now I know the old saying is You will find love when you're not looking for it. But I can't seem to not look for it. Evrytime i'm at a bar I think am I gonna meet anyone tonight. Or when I meet friends of friends I think could this be the one. Well now i've kinda given up. I given into my greatest fear. The fear of being alone. Never having married or have kids. I know alot of old ladies who never married and never had kids. I often wonder whether they had offers and turned them down or if they just never were interested. Even so I would think they regretted it.I often wonder like everyone else if I was gone who would miss me? I would hope that alot of people would. I know sometimes I can be a little loud and obnoxious but that's just me. I would just hope that people know how I feel about them. Well that's my deep thoughts for today. ENJOY
So what happens to people when they leave school? I see so many people that I knew in high school throwing their lives away. What happened to the prom queen that never left town to go to school and is now serving me my beer at a local pub. Or her boyfriend the high school jock who is now 150 lbs overweight and a bouncer at that same location.
I think to myself what did they do wrong and I do right? In high school I could only dreamed of being as pretty and popular as some of the girls in my class. But now it seems that i'm the one on top. My how the mighty have fallen. Now I consider myself to be one of the lucky few who have gotten out and were able to survive. All but one part of my life is in order. I have a job, my own place(sort of) and I consider myself to be a decent human being. Now for the hard part.
These days i always feel like something is missing. Part of it could be the lack of contact with my friends and family but most of it is a lack of feeling loved. Now i know that my friends and family love me but i'm talking about a different love. You know the love i'm talking about. The love of someone who wants to spend the rest of there life with you. I try so hard to find it but it seems to elude me everytime. I have even gone as far as going to a psychic trying to find out answer (by the way she said i'd be married within 3 years and it's been almost two) Now I know the old saying is You will find love when you're not looking for it. But I can't seem to not look for it. Evrytime i'm at a bar I think am I gonna meet anyone tonight. Or when I meet friends of friends I think could this be the one. Well now i've kinda given up. I given into my greatest fear. The fear of being alone. Never having married or have kids. I know alot of old ladies who never married and never had kids. I often wonder whether they had offers and turned them down or if they just never were interested. Even so I would think they regretted it.I often wonder like everyone else if I was gone who would miss me? I would hope that alot of people would. I know sometimes I can be a little loud and obnoxious but that's just me. I would just hope that people know how I feel about them. Well that's my deep thoughts for today. ENJOY