It's over. It's so over.
I wish it wouldn't end like this. I wish it wouldn't end. Crying is making it worse. What if I never see this all again? What if this is my last harrah? I dont want it to end like this. I just dont want it to end. I miss my old life, I really do; but I love my new one. I can't go back to the old me. I must try, but the shoes are too small, too constricting. The life is too small. I will miss my family, but I will be happy to see my parents. Who is going to wake me up at 730 in the morning because he is crying? Who will be the nameless voice that tells me: "Respect is earned, not given"? How in the hell am I going to keep up on London Love?
Its been a rollar coaster. It has its ups and its downs, but I dont want to get off, can I just ride into the sunset? Or keep riding until I can finish it properly, not bundled up in my room?
I suppose all I can hope for is the memories, the memories of me and the memories I have.
Damnit I'm free. Leave Heathrow Sun Dec 9 10 am Greenwich Mean Time
Arrive San Fran 1:30 pm Pacific Standard Time
Leave San Fran 4:30 pm Pacific Standard Time
Arrive Eugene airport 6 pm Pacific Standard Time
Hopefully sleep thanks to Codeine.
The above lj cut is pragmatic as seems to be the trend, the following is explanitory, which I have noticed in others lj posts:
I have tonsillitus. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT????????????????? Seriously!?! I also have to pay $140 for doctors visit and meds. again: WHAT THE FUCK??????
I am sad to leave my host family they are amazing and I really do consider them my family and it si breaking my heart to leave my little brothers, no matter how annoying they can be sometimes. I can't enjoy my last few days in England because I am sick and I cant even spend a lot of time with my family because I dont want them to get sick. This trip was nothing like I expected, it was harder to deal with and I definitely got sick of the people and the city at different times, but I am looking back and I dont want to leave. This place is like another universe. Anything is possible and everything is going on.
I DONT WANT TO LEAVE THE SOUTH BANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont want to leave my family!
I mean I will be happy to be with my parents (they have missed me for some odd reason *shrug*) and my Buddy Boy! and I suppose my boyfriend as well ;) But why can't they all be in London with me? Or Wales, or Ireland, or Norway, or Italy. Ya know, I am not picky...
Call me a drunk, I dont care I will be flying high in less than a day, in more ways than one
see yall soon. I will be happy to see you, I will just be sad about the other piece of my heart which I left back in London