(no subject)
I can't sleep. I was awakened by "my pain" as I refer to it and now I can't go to sleep again because I'm not exactly tired and it keeps firing.
I arrived home almost a week ago and it's good to be back. I spent my last night and day in town with Sean. The night before I left we went to one of his physics friend's houses where more physics friends were and we drank and I listened to the boys debate over the ethical implications of dropping nuclear waste in lowly populated areas. Physics is a boys club. Physics majors also have at least a small superiority complex which they carry around with them at all times, even if they seem like the must humble of people.
Sean spent the night and we shared a perfect morning of lazing around in bed, waxing philosophic, sex, showers. We went out to grab breakfast bagels and sat outside at a bench and fed birds the parts of the bagels we didn't eat. I had to pick up some shirts at one of the Rutgers stores and he came with me. Once we got out, we were right at his apartment, but instead of bidding me adieu on the street corner, he walked me home. We hung out. Got a little high. Walked over to one of the libraries to say goodbye to Anna. He walked me back and came inside again. And then when it was time to leave for good, he carried my bag down the stairs and out to the car. I miss him a lot. I never said anything to him about what this break means for us, but I felt it didn't need to be said. I'm looking forward to going back. I'm finally starting to feel relaxed and comfortable. I love it.
That's all.
I arrived home almost a week ago and it's good to be back. I spent my last night and day in town with Sean. The night before I left we went to one of his physics friend's houses where more physics friends were and we drank and I listened to the boys debate over the ethical implications of dropping nuclear waste in lowly populated areas. Physics is a boys club. Physics majors also have at least a small superiority complex which they carry around with them at all times, even if they seem like the must humble of people.
Sean spent the night and we shared a perfect morning of lazing around in bed, waxing philosophic, sex, showers. We went out to grab breakfast bagels and sat outside at a bench and fed birds the parts of the bagels we didn't eat. I had to pick up some shirts at one of the Rutgers stores and he came with me. Once we got out, we were right at his apartment, but instead of bidding me adieu on the street corner, he walked me home. We hung out. Got a little high. Walked over to one of the libraries to say goodbye to Anna. He walked me back and came inside again. And then when it was time to leave for good, he carried my bag down the stairs and out to the car. I miss him a lot. I never said anything to him about what this break means for us, but I felt it didn't need to be said. I'm looking forward to going back. I'm finally starting to feel relaxed and comfortable. I love it.
That's all.