(no subject)
lets just sit down be honest with ourselves watch this go
where you at and where you going? you dont know. find somebody who knows and i'll shake that bitty's hand
so i dated this girl danielle salta how long ago? so long ago. so long ago. so long ago that its gone. you know that i was tellin that girl that i loved her. how nuts. i was some kid. but i meant it. i sure meant it. i didnt know what i was doing. but i had a great time and i learned the world.
salta brought me outta my childhood is how i see it, after she left me i didnt know what to do with myself; i had nothing to do but face it and grow up. maybe the best thing that could have happened to me. imagine she reads this sometime? maybe i should tell her how much i feel like i owe her. it must have taken a lot of courage on her part to break up with me. i say that because she knew she was causing me pain and she did it anyway. i need to catch up with that girl someday. bet by the time i see her again she wont be a girl but a woman
so there's been no danielle goldberg for a couple weeks. finally in my life i am trying to live by "fuck bitches", "bitches ain't shit", bros before hoes, all that. because seriously, you could get caught up in any girl. I could, i mean. any girl i focus myself on, work for, strive for, make her the object of my desires, and then it becomes so.
don't take this the wrong way anyone. i loved danielle and still do. i can't stop thinking about her. but i gotta be like this, at this point in my life. i figure until the real thing comes along, and i mean the real thing that will be my life, i gotta live by a much tougher attitude, treating girls how a 19,20,21 year olds might like to be treated. more on the side of a potential hookup and less as an honest best friend as i feel i have always been to girls. because when i meet that girl, as long as i leave myself open to that girl, she will change my attitude just by her attitude (my realization of her being the real thing). even i've lost track of what i'm saying
i'm at the point where i'm alright being single. first time in years and i can feel myself approaching it. Relationships with girls has been my life for so long. i dont think i know what to do without it. maybe i'll be better friends with my mom. thats sweet but oh shit. i dont know what i'm gonna do. not alcohol not weed, wont let them take me. maybe i'll find one. i honestly think that i already found one. that girl tara that i met at orientation. she is beautiful, outta this world. not hot. she is BEAUTiful. i got her number. bitty dont call me back twice now. gotta respect myself, cant keep calling. i'll try her again in a week or two. she seems ecstatic when i see her and then doesnt answer calls. hope she isnt playin games with me she doesnt seem like the type. but she's one of those that i know for a fact i would have a long term relationship with. i dont want that right now. or do i?
when i woke up this morning, i had a terrible feeling. a terrible uncomfortable feeling. like i wanted to get out of my skin it was so uncomfortable. it's because last night, i drank my face off, smoked my lungs out, and passed out. after laying with various girls, no hookups, but just lazing around and doing nothing and feeling like shit, and wanting the feeling to go away. it was terrible. felt so empty and dirty and useless, when i woke up. and you know why? it's because i've been right all along. runnin around like all hell is mad fun, but i've always been a little more mature, a little above/below (not sure) all that. i always went for the fullness of a relationship. and it's been great. i've felt things some people NEVER feel. when me and danielle would lay next to each other, it was unreal. also to an extent the girls before her that i felt for, it was all great, everything.
talking right now to zach and chris rosenman. it's been too long since i've talked to zach. it's great to be talkign again. rosenman, kid is just ridiculous. great talkin to him too
i'm good. i run through people places events and disasters like water. and i've been entire and i'll remain entire
peace
kalb
where you at and where you going? you dont know. find somebody who knows and i'll shake that bitty's hand
so i dated this girl danielle salta how long ago? so long ago. so long ago. so long ago that its gone. you know that i was tellin that girl that i loved her. how nuts. i was some kid. but i meant it. i sure meant it. i didnt know what i was doing. but i had a great time and i learned the world.
salta brought me outta my childhood is how i see it, after she left me i didnt know what to do with myself; i had nothing to do but face it and grow up. maybe the best thing that could have happened to me. imagine she reads this sometime? maybe i should tell her how much i feel like i owe her. it must have taken a lot of courage on her part to break up with me. i say that because she knew she was causing me pain and she did it anyway. i need to catch up with that girl someday. bet by the time i see her again she wont be a girl but a woman
so there's been no danielle goldberg for a couple weeks. finally in my life i am trying to live by "fuck bitches", "bitches ain't shit", bros before hoes, all that. because seriously, you could get caught up in any girl. I could, i mean. any girl i focus myself on, work for, strive for, make her the object of my desires, and then it becomes so.
don't take this the wrong way anyone. i loved danielle and still do. i can't stop thinking about her. but i gotta be like this, at this point in my life. i figure until the real thing comes along, and i mean the real thing that will be my life, i gotta live by a much tougher attitude, treating girls how a 19,20,21 year olds might like to be treated. more on the side of a potential hookup and less as an honest best friend as i feel i have always been to girls. because when i meet that girl, as long as i leave myself open to that girl, she will change my attitude just by her attitude (my realization of her being the real thing). even i've lost track of what i'm saying
i'm at the point where i'm alright being single. first time in years and i can feel myself approaching it. Relationships with girls has been my life for so long. i dont think i know what to do without it. maybe i'll be better friends with my mom. thats sweet but oh shit. i dont know what i'm gonna do. not alcohol not weed, wont let them take me. maybe i'll find one. i honestly think that i already found one. that girl tara that i met at orientation. she is beautiful, outta this world. not hot. she is BEAUTiful. i got her number. bitty dont call me back twice now. gotta respect myself, cant keep calling. i'll try her again in a week or two. she seems ecstatic when i see her and then doesnt answer calls. hope she isnt playin games with me she doesnt seem like the type. but she's one of those that i know for a fact i would have a long term relationship with. i dont want that right now. or do i?
when i woke up this morning, i had a terrible feeling. a terrible uncomfortable feeling. like i wanted to get out of my skin it was so uncomfortable. it's because last night, i drank my face off, smoked my lungs out, and passed out. after laying with various girls, no hookups, but just lazing around and doing nothing and feeling like shit, and wanting the feeling to go away. it was terrible. felt so empty and dirty and useless, when i woke up. and you know why? it's because i've been right all along. runnin around like all hell is mad fun, but i've always been a little more mature, a little above/below (not sure) all that. i always went for the fullness of a relationship. and it's been great. i've felt things some people NEVER feel. when me and danielle would lay next to each other, it was unreal. also to an extent the girls before her that i felt for, it was all great, everything.
talking right now to zach and chris rosenman. it's been too long since i've talked to zach. it's great to be talkign again. rosenman, kid is just ridiculous. great talkin to him too
i'm good. i run through people places events and disasters like water. and i've been entire and i'll remain entire
peace
kalb