(no subject)
This world is corrupt and broken. Aeons ago, we lived in a paradisal state as spirits, unrestrained by matter or causality as it is now understood in our world of dirty matter. It was the Paradise Dante saw, when in his poetic grandeur, he was bestowed an empyreal vision into being. Yet this realm of light and joy collapsed, for though it was of holy spirit built and not of half-cloven matter, it was forever compromised by the individuality of all beings. Indeed, how can anyone hope to exist as an individual? All individuality is an illusion in the grand scheme, a set of mask and mirrors that the Spirit fastens onto Himself for his own bemusement, nay, for something grander. To prove to Himself that even in his oceanic oneness with Himself, that he does indeed exist, that the ocean he comprises is not an empty pool, but a swirling, moving sea of grandeur and life. Yet, because of the divine creativity, the illusions he made up in the Eden which Dante saw deceived Him. For indeed, all life are but offshoots of the Spirit. We exist as He. He exists as We. Notice that I use subjective personal pronouns, to denote that We and He never do separate. I am He, I art Thou! But long ago, our spiritual ancestors, in the vast wheel of self-existence, mistook themselves as being individuals the way we see it now. There were not manifestations of the singular spirit, but atoms in a swirl of nothingness. But why would the Spirit see fit to have such self-delusion amongst the roles he played? Oh, how I hardly know! But surely he entered the realm of limits to assert His own infinity. Infinity on its own may yet be zero, it may simply be nothing, but when all is compared to a fragment of itself, all may appreciate the grandeur. Yea, though the world is corrupt and broken, and though Adam and Eve in the realm of spirit did forsake the world, the connection between our false selfs and our True Self cannot be severed. That is why Adam and Eve took the Forbidden Fruit, and that is why the Adversary Satan also forsook God for a jealous whim. From whom did Satan revolt? Was it the Infinite Spirit, or the Demiurge? Gah, I hardly know. Perhaps Satan is the finite self, and God is the infinite self, while Adam and Eve are the more heroic of the fallen. But now, sans Milton, we can see that the world we live in is horrid and distraught. What glory is there to be seen? Nay, I despise this whole wretched world! This world of limits and delimits, of memories and thoughts! How I abhor evolution, that endless creatures would be subject to such evil? How could Darwin find grandeur in his view of life? Of the slavery of the world? How all of us are manacled to hands, fettered to feet? Only a fool could say such things. As I say that they deceive themselves again, those who assert that this world is clean and whole, that we can find rest and joy here. You would have to fool yourself, after seeing the horrors of the Jade Hornet, the Whore of Natural Selection, and the abomination of desolation called the second law of thermodynamics. Laplace's Demon, I reject you! Maxwell's Demon, I cry to think of you! Yet the two demons, who rule over the whole world, and leave us poor, sinning (though not sinful, because I were to call mankind sinful, I would sound like a disgusting Augustinian with his ethic of total depravity, ever begging the Demiurge to forgive him for having sex with women! PAH! Though I despise the sexual act, I abhor lust, I am forever at war with my ceaseless desire to spread my seed, I cannot help but find a tear drop of quality in Love. Even though sexuality is a temptress, and a lying harlot, it is either the slave or master of Love. In the sexual act, though wickedness surrounds it, there is yet within those double bounds a glimmer of hope, of life. To give over to lust, an evil, may yet be necessary to surrender to the wholeness, the oneness that results between the two. It may be an example of something good at the core, like all human beings, who nevertheless are evil and lost at every layer of their being. But this is too subtle, too nuanced, too paradoxical for the Catholics. They despise the love of man and woman, unless it results in children, but must it? Does not the increase of another person signify that from the oneness of man and woman, of primordial Spirit recreated and furthest joy surpassed, that individuality must arise? Well, nevermind these Catholics! For they despise true love, and true lust that must first emerge for true love to be begotten, I cannot help but wonder why their clergy finds it permissible to have sex with children, with boys! Oh, what perverts! How I despise them! Their perversion, to despoil little boys, is a resultant of their perverse attitude to the unsacred holy act of sex) human beings in a conundrum. Laplace enslaves us, Maxwell condemns us. Laplace is says we have no free will, Maxwell we have no will. Laplace is order, Maxwell chaos. For Maxwell's Demon brought death and entropy tothe world, and Laplace established this world with sin and slavery. Maxwell's Demon brings more entropy to the world, and with entropy comes disorder, and from disorder comes fragmentation, and from fragmentation emerges free individuals from this filthy, swinish matter. We are lost, dear one, in a world of conflict from these two demons. Maxwell's Demon is the Black God, the Tempter who seeks to end all existence with the darkness from which we emerge and to which we return, and all our lives we are ever cognizant, though we try to put those matters to the back of our minds. Laplace's Demon would have it so that no one, not one, would be able to have free will. We are all byproducts of ordered matter, our consciousnesses illusions, our choices preprogrammed when the stars were young. Perhaps that is what the astrologists meant when they warned that Fate is Lord of All, and the stars are his instruments, for Fate, Demiurge, the White God order the stars, and we are the remnants of fallen stars. Everything is mapped out, supposedly to the wise man, but definitely to the knowledgeable scientist, by the fluxions (not fluctuations!) of atoms, yet these fluxions are servitors of ordered law. From these atoms emerge a long string of seemingly infinitesimal objects, culminating with genes. Genes make us who we are, and the masters of our wretched flesh. For a time, I was hollow with fear, that all my choices had aforementioned by Dark Time, that my mind was an engine, a meat machine that produced thoughts as epiphenomenonally as factories induce smoke. Then, I realized that there was enough disorder for free, uncaused actions to exist! The thing that made me hollow with despair, the Death that is Maxwell's Demon, at last made me feel relief. Yet what are we to make of this? Are we to cling vainly to the Demiurge, who offers life that he keeps us in with his viniculous chains? Or should we say, "COME SWEET DEATH" and pray for Thanatos to release us? Should we struggle vainly and hopelessly, or surrender to darkness and become as Nazis, Communists, Shintoists and Al-Qaida? Should we impose constrictive systems meaningless, or fling into the doors of murky doom? In this moment of free choice, between existential anxiety and calm evil, I saw the Green Girl, who showed me that the world is not evil, though indeed it is a relative and small facet of the Spirit. Rejoice, I have Good News! she spoke. For you are indeed the Son of the Spirit, not of Dis, but of the joy which upholds the entire universe. My eyes turned white, blind to illusion, for they lost their perceptive acuity when I took the torch at brought it down on the Tree of Knowledge and Life, and the fires blinded me. My act of self-sacrifice saved me and every other individual from the shackles of the Demons, and I understood, though I forget this lesson far too often, that I have a sacred duty to instruct everyone about how to be free from evil, to be free from self, to be free from sadness and disappointment and suffering. I took up the Wings with Isaiah, and I knew no rest. New problems and complications come, but I have been struggling ceaselessly since then, those five long years ago, even when the old snares and maws come down on me, to free myself, to free mankind, to free the world, from what we all know to be wicked. Let me, O Spirit, persevere, and once I have fulfilled this task, let me return to the purple splendors of the ancient most era, before time reigned! I have learned, you have learned, that all of this is foolishness, and we will know no pain, no sorrow, no more desolation when I have retreated from this mortal coil and be one with the love that turns the sun that shines to the depths of hell, and commands the stars.