(no subject)
Another dull day.
Good thing about today - I've done all my homework already. Compared to last night, when I finished physicsat 10:30 and had to revise biology till 11pm.
Bad thing about today - I just woke up at 5:50am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep, I got 61% in the chemistry test (which is good compared to some other peoples), my mum is complaining about Mrs Harrison and wants me to move tables in chemistry, Mrs Baker gave me an R for my homework cause I made ONE mistake, yes ONE mistake.
So about chemistry. I'm not moving desks, I don't care what mum says. I'm already an anit social freak, I don't need to move to different tables with people that I know don't like me. Plus I refuse to move chemistry groups. I am no just rearranging my timetable two terms into the year, that's just insane. I've explained how I will just have to work harder to get a pass mark in chemistry GCSE, but that's not good enough for my family. I mean let's face it, this is me we are talking about. I expect "A"s and "A*"s from Kaird and Jenny, but I've always been the slow one, the one that has to work really hard to get good marks. Kaird works really hard to get over the top marks and high praises, she does extra work. Jenny barely has to work, she's just naturally intelligent. I HAVE to work to get reasonable marks. If I don't I'd just fail at everything. My parents made me and my sisters too competitive for any of us to fail and just not care.
Physics now. I am so infuriated about getting that R ("Re do this" for those that don't know that). I mean I made ONE mistake and I have to do the whole damn thing again! She's just giving me extra work because I had nothing to catch up on. I'm just so angry at her!
I'm angry also at rejection. Not only is it a horrible word that shouldn't exsist, it's a fucking awful feeling too. Rejection is the only way I can explain why I'm so angry and depressed about everything.
AND just to top off my day, my mum says my dad won't let me go to the thing next week with Sophie because it's mid week. Apparently it would be fine if it was at the weekend. The one oppertunity that comes along for me to have a good time with one of my friends is just snatched away from me because it's during the week. I do not need this!
I can't take all this fucking pressure and stress and work and pain any more. I want to leave this place, this house, this country. I want to just leave everything behind and go and do something I want to do when I want to do it. But that can't happen can it? No because education gets in the fucking way ALL THE DAMN TIME!
WHY WON'T SOMEONE JUST KILL ME NOW! I BEG OF YOU WENDY JUST GET A GROUP OF FELLOW ALISON HATERS AND FUCKING KILL ME! IT WILL BE BETTER FOR EVERYONE!
Good thing about today - I've done all my homework already. Compared to last night, when I finished physicsat 10:30 and had to revise biology till 11pm.
Bad thing about today - I just woke up at 5:50am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep, I got 61% in the chemistry test (which is good compared to some other peoples), my mum is complaining about Mrs Harrison and wants me to move tables in chemistry, Mrs Baker gave me an R for my homework cause I made ONE mistake, yes ONE mistake.
So about chemistry. I'm not moving desks, I don't care what mum says. I'm already an anit social freak, I don't need to move to different tables with people that I know don't like me. Plus I refuse to move chemistry groups. I am no just rearranging my timetable two terms into the year, that's just insane. I've explained how I will just have to work harder to get a pass mark in chemistry GCSE, but that's not good enough for my family. I mean let's face it, this is me we are talking about. I expect "A"s and "A*"s from Kaird and Jenny, but I've always been the slow one, the one that has to work really hard to get good marks. Kaird works really hard to get over the top marks and high praises, she does extra work. Jenny barely has to work, she's just naturally intelligent. I HAVE to work to get reasonable marks. If I don't I'd just fail at everything. My parents made me and my sisters too competitive for any of us to fail and just not care.
Physics now. I am so infuriated about getting that R ("Re do this" for those that don't know that). I mean I made ONE mistake and I have to do the whole damn thing again! She's just giving me extra work because I had nothing to catch up on. I'm just so angry at her!
I'm angry also at rejection. Not only is it a horrible word that shouldn't exsist, it's a fucking awful feeling too. Rejection is the only way I can explain why I'm so angry and depressed about everything.
AND just to top off my day, my mum says my dad won't let me go to the thing next week with Sophie because it's mid week. Apparently it would be fine if it was at the weekend. The one oppertunity that comes along for me to have a good time with one of my friends is just snatched away from me because it's during the week. I do not need this!
I can't take all this fucking pressure and stress and work and pain any more. I want to leave this place, this house, this country. I want to just leave everything behind and go and do something I want to do when I want to do it. But that can't happen can it? No because education gets in the fucking way ALL THE DAMN TIME!
WHY WON'T SOMEONE JUST KILL ME NOW! I BEG OF YOU WENDY JUST GET A GROUP OF FELLOW ALISON HATERS AND FUCKING KILL ME! IT WILL BE BETTER FOR EVERYONE!