(no subject)
Dear Station Fire:
Please stop moving ominously towards my house and place of work. Generally, I like fires, because they make me warm, cook my food, and look pretty, but I am materialistic and enjoy things like my bed, and my job is cool, and if you burn the lab, you will kill innocent robots. Do you want to kill cute science robots? I don't think you do. You are better than that, Station Fire.
Is it attention that you want? You are definitely getting it, with your attractive several-mile-high column of smoke, and the sunsets you're producing are reputed to be quite lovely. And you've managed already to enforce some mandatory evacuations (something only a select few celebrities can accomplish). You're quite famous! In fact, you've gotten the lab to close "at least" until tomorrow evening, and they only close for disasters! See, you're a disaster! Whatever you call your mom must be so proud! And you even managed to alarm MY parents, 3,000 miles away, when JPL called them at 1 AM to tell them about it in a creepy automated message. Look at your influence!!
So really, you are very important, scary, sexy, manly, dangerous, and whatever else it is you want from your incendiary life. Really, I'm convinced. I'm awed. I will never forget you! I promise. I will make you a shrine and talk about you all the time on facebook.
I'll make a deal with you. If you go away by the time I get home tomorrow, I'll get a tattoo of your name. And every time anyone asks me how I got some scar or other, I'll say it was you.
Thanks,
A concerned (and materialistic) citizen
Please stop moving ominously towards my house and place of work. Generally, I like fires, because they make me warm, cook my food, and look pretty, but I am materialistic and enjoy things like my bed, and my job is cool, and if you burn the lab, you will kill innocent robots. Do you want to kill cute science robots? I don't think you do. You are better than that, Station Fire.
Is it attention that you want? You are definitely getting it, with your attractive several-mile-high column of smoke, and the sunsets you're producing are reputed to be quite lovely. And you've managed already to enforce some mandatory evacuations (something only a select few celebrities can accomplish). You're quite famous! In fact, you've gotten the lab to close "at least" until tomorrow evening, and they only close for disasters! See, you're a disaster! Whatever you call your mom must be so proud! And you even managed to alarm MY parents, 3,000 miles away, when JPL called them at 1 AM to tell them about it in a creepy automated message. Look at your influence!!
So really, you are very important, scary, sexy, manly, dangerous, and whatever else it is you want from your incendiary life. Really, I'm convinced. I'm awed. I will never forget you! I promise. I will make you a shrine and talk about you all the time on facebook.
I'll make a deal with you. If you go away by the time I get home tomorrow, I'll get a tattoo of your name. And every time anyone asks me how I got some scar or other, I'll say it was you.
Thanks,
A concerned (and materialistic) citizen