being blenderized
i'm back to routine. wake up at the awful time of 6:20, get to work by 6:35, spend all day with the crazy people up here, get home by 8. repeat every day until school starts. well, there are small variations for banquets and snackshop and whatever, but not much. this whole thing is getting really tiring though. all i wanted this summer was to stay out of the drama. to work, hang out a bit maybe, but to keep out of the mess things have become up here. i'm sad to say that's not happening. i'm already lost actually. i love these people (well, most of them) so i really dislike being put into the middle of things. i think perhaps i listen too well is what it is. i just wish they would listen in return, things would be so much easier if they would actually listen to and believe what i say rather than discarding my advice because it's not what they want to hear. oh well, life goes on i guess.
last night, however, was a wonderful break. after work we went to the fireworks in andover. jenny was an angel and made sure i didn't have to ride with andy, so smithers, marc, sarah and i had a nice drive together instead. i felt very comfortable with them, it was like i knew they might not like parts of me, but they were still going to be my friends regardless, it was a nice feeling. once we got to the fireworks sarah, marc, and i went to get fried dough, and when we were walking back i saw a couple girls from the academy. now normally that would probably mean i'd avoid them at all costs, but there was a guy with them who had his back to me, so i sort of looked to see who it was. when i realized it was jordan i ran over and tapped him on the shoulder, he looked so surprised when he turned around, and then he rushed to hug me. that was an awesome feeling. i hated it when we grew apart. we were never really close publicly, mostly we just talked on rides home from school and then called each other every once and again. but those phone calls were great, we'd talk about anything and everything, and he'd always make me laugh a ton. (...yeh, i had a bit of a thing for him). but my senior year i stopped doing the whole carpool thing cuz i had my own car, and the phone calls gradually stopped, and somehow we weren't really talking anymore. in fact when i went over to him i wasn't sure he'd want to talk to me, that whole self-esteem thing was kicking in again as always. but he hugged me as soon as he saw me, and like a minute later he was like "wow, i have to hug you again, it's so great to see you," which was wonderful. we ended up talking for about half an hour, it was just like old times, no awkward silences or subjects we couldn't talk about, we were good friends all over again. that totally made my night, maybe even my week. and the best part is that he's going to come crash houghton this fall, he doesn't leave for his college until september 5th, so when we start up here in august he's going to come hang out. i can't wait to have him meet luke, he was so excited for me when i told him i had an amazing guy that i was serious with, and also incredibly sympathetic as soon as i said he was gone for the summer. wow, i missed that kid a lot. i've wanted to get in touch with him all this past year but never had to confidence to call him, i'm not sure if that was a mistake or not. but anyway, old friends are great.
and after yet another mostly shallow and babbling entry i'm off to do nothing for an hour.
last night, however, was a wonderful break. after work we went to the fireworks in andover. jenny was an angel and made sure i didn't have to ride with andy, so smithers, marc, sarah and i had a nice drive together instead. i felt very comfortable with them, it was like i knew they might not like parts of me, but they were still going to be my friends regardless, it was a nice feeling. once we got to the fireworks sarah, marc, and i went to get fried dough, and when we were walking back i saw a couple girls from the academy. now normally that would probably mean i'd avoid them at all costs, but there was a guy with them who had his back to me, so i sort of looked to see who it was. when i realized it was jordan i ran over and tapped him on the shoulder, he looked so surprised when he turned around, and then he rushed to hug me. that was an awesome feeling. i hated it when we grew apart. we were never really close publicly, mostly we just talked on rides home from school and then called each other every once and again. but those phone calls were great, we'd talk about anything and everything, and he'd always make me laugh a ton. (...yeh, i had a bit of a thing for him). but my senior year i stopped doing the whole carpool thing cuz i had my own car, and the phone calls gradually stopped, and somehow we weren't really talking anymore. in fact when i went over to him i wasn't sure he'd want to talk to me, that whole self-esteem thing was kicking in again as always. but he hugged me as soon as he saw me, and like a minute later he was like "wow, i have to hug you again, it's so great to see you," which was wonderful. we ended up talking for about half an hour, it was just like old times, no awkward silences or subjects we couldn't talk about, we were good friends all over again. that totally made my night, maybe even my week. and the best part is that he's going to come crash houghton this fall, he doesn't leave for his college until september 5th, so when we start up here in august he's going to come hang out. i can't wait to have him meet luke, he was so excited for me when i told him i had an amazing guy that i was serious with, and also incredibly sympathetic as soon as i said he was gone for the summer. wow, i missed that kid a lot. i've wanted to get in touch with him all this past year but never had to confidence to call him, i'm not sure if that was a mistake or not. but anyway, old friends are great.
and after yet another mostly shallow and babbling entry i'm off to do nothing for an hour.