i need to post more often
i feel like the only time im ever in this god-forsaken apartment anymore is to clean something (myself, dishes, the bathroom, etc), and then im right back out the door. i wish it wasnt this way, because i love at least 2 of my roomates, but i fucking hate it here. i can not wait to move. its impossible to share a living space amgongst 4 people who just dont give a fuck about anything but themselves. none of us want to clean because nobody cleaned in the first place, and god forbid youre the first one to do it. i cant wait to live with just one other person. i cant wait to have a kitchen not inside of my living room. i cant wait to get home from an 8 hour shift at work, trying to do some pressing errands before i go and try to relax somewhere else than my filthy apartment, and have to hear not one, not two, but 3 narcissistic stories about how drunk they got the night before or how much they worked out or how hot their abs are getting or just how awesome they are. i can handle one , not three. i mean really. i just got off work where i had to stand around and pretend to be interested in peoples petty shit for 7 hours, do i really want to hear about how your new workout regimen is making you so hot ? because i really do, GENUINELY have an interest in your abs. my happiness depends on it.
my boyfriend and i are not going to see each other for over a month. this is going to be pressing on us im sure, considering that we have not been apart for more than like a week and a half since weve met, and to be completely honest, livejournal, i fear hes going to cheat on me. im still am kind of pissed at him too considering that i was explicitly not invited to the keys trip that hes on right now with all of his boy-buddies, but for some reason, one of his buddies friends got to bring his girlfriend. oh well, i guess shes better than me or something. and when i talked to matt last about going to the keys when he actually did invite me , he started sort of dancing around it and implying that there were too many people going already (his family)....ok maybe thats whats really going to be pressing about the whole month apart, that whole minor thing about me not trusting him and being mad at him. i dont want to be mad at him for a month, but i really dont see any other options.
ive really not been happy with him at all recently, to tell you the truth. he keeps just blatantly insulting me when he gets mad. i dont care who you are, youre not going to sit around and call me stupid or lazy or without a decent work ethic and get away with it. it makes me want to cry and not be around him at all. i told him this, and he said he would work on it, and that he didnt want to upset me, but its not turning out.
one of the times that we broke up, he listed a big reason for wanting to dump me as the fact that he didnt love me. now, this was quite a while ago and hes stated a few times that things change , that he didnt mean the stuff that he said when we were yelling at each other, and basically wanted me not to bring it up. i dont think he loves me now.i cant get over the fact that he said that. infact, i almost obsess over it when im around him. to me, saying that you love someone isnt anything special, its just the fondness that you feel for anyone close to you. you love someone when you prioritize them in your life, think of them, and miss them when theyre gone. i dont think he loves me like that for the most part. every move he makes, im sitting there analyzing it trying to see if he gives 1/3 of a rats ass about me. i cant help it. its unhealthy and i hate doing it.
well see. im PMSing, so maybe this is all over-drawn, maybe it isnt. well see
xoxo sniz
my boyfriend and i are not going to see each other for over a month. this is going to be pressing on us im sure, considering that we have not been apart for more than like a week and a half since weve met, and to be completely honest, livejournal, i fear hes going to cheat on me. im still am kind of pissed at him too considering that i was explicitly not invited to the keys trip that hes on right now with all of his boy-buddies, but for some reason, one of his buddies friends got to bring his girlfriend. oh well, i guess shes better than me or something. and when i talked to matt last about going to the keys when he actually did invite me , he started sort of dancing around it and implying that there were too many people going already (his family)....ok maybe thats whats really going to be pressing about the whole month apart, that whole minor thing about me not trusting him and being mad at him. i dont want to be mad at him for a month, but i really dont see any other options.
ive really not been happy with him at all recently, to tell you the truth. he keeps just blatantly insulting me when he gets mad. i dont care who you are, youre not going to sit around and call me stupid or lazy or without a decent work ethic and get away with it. it makes me want to cry and not be around him at all. i told him this, and he said he would work on it, and that he didnt want to upset me, but its not turning out.
one of the times that we broke up, he listed a big reason for wanting to dump me as the fact that he didnt love me. now, this was quite a while ago and hes stated a few times that things change , that he didnt mean the stuff that he said when we were yelling at each other, and basically wanted me not to bring it up. i dont think he loves me now.i cant get over the fact that he said that. infact, i almost obsess over it when im around him. to me, saying that you love someone isnt anything special, its just the fondness that you feel for anyone close to you. you love someone when you prioritize them in your life, think of them, and miss them when theyre gone. i dont think he loves me like that for the most part. every move he makes, im sitting there analyzing it trying to see if he gives 1/3 of a rats ass about me. i cant help it. its unhealthy and i hate doing it.
well see. im PMSing, so maybe this is all over-drawn, maybe it isnt. well see
xoxo sniz