I'm Back Home
Uhg Worst few weeks of my life so far. My Best friend is holding up as well as she can, but the loss of my little (honorary) nephew is something that's going to haunt us for a long time. Grief is a strange and bitter tide, it ebbs and flows at an odd pace and the undertow catches you without warning whenever you think you've finally found a decent footing.
Thank you to everyone who offered their condolences, we appreciate your sympathy and thoughts during this time. I would have posted earlier, but because bad things come in groups, my laptop fizzled out while I was traveling.
the funeral was very well done, the people running the home were amazing and helpful through out the whole process, and I was touched when they told us that we only had to pay the hard costs and they would cover the rest since it's morally reprehensible to charge families for the death of a child. They gave us the information for a florist they like and she was wonderful as well. the funeral was filled with so many flowers in splashes of his favorite colors and she used decorations like a large model of Lightning McQueen filled with roses.
It snowed for the first time in months on the day of the funeral, and I was pleased that nature shared in our tears for our lost little man.
the day after the funeral we took my best friend to a nearby spa, because fate is a twisted, awful thing and we buried her son on the day before her 30th birthday. so we tried as hard as we could to make her birthday about her and to distract her for a little while with a long massage, really hot mineral spas and margaritas. while we were gone her boyfriend arranged a fancy dinner at a nice restaurant with a ton of her friends and neighbors (unlike me she's very social and has a lot of good people to surround her, which will be helpful in the coming months) and I ran and got a cake so everything would be as normal as possible. She says it was nice, and it did make her feel better at least.
Now I'm home and back at work, and to be truthful, it's three times harder here alone in the aftermath than it was there with her as it happened. All we can do is move forward, we'll take it one step at a time and learn our new reality as we go carefully onward. the next step will at least provide a decent distraction for a while as she and the father prepare a lawsuit (the trucks gear shift was faulty, pressure did not need to be applied to the brake when shifting between gears).
Thank you to everyone who offered their condolences, we appreciate your sympathy and thoughts during this time. I would have posted earlier, but because bad things come in groups, my laptop fizzled out while I was traveling.
the funeral was very well done, the people running the home were amazing and helpful through out the whole process, and I was touched when they told us that we only had to pay the hard costs and they would cover the rest since it's morally reprehensible to charge families for the death of a child. They gave us the information for a florist they like and she was wonderful as well. the funeral was filled with so many flowers in splashes of his favorite colors and she used decorations like a large model of Lightning McQueen filled with roses.
It snowed for the first time in months on the day of the funeral, and I was pleased that nature shared in our tears for our lost little man.
the day after the funeral we took my best friend to a nearby spa, because fate is a twisted, awful thing and we buried her son on the day before her 30th birthday. so we tried as hard as we could to make her birthday about her and to distract her for a little while with a long massage, really hot mineral spas and margaritas. while we were gone her boyfriend arranged a fancy dinner at a nice restaurant with a ton of her friends and neighbors (unlike me she's very social and has a lot of good people to surround her, which will be helpful in the coming months) and I ran and got a cake so everything would be as normal as possible. She says it was nice, and it did make her feel better at least.
Now I'm home and back at work, and to be truthful, it's three times harder here alone in the aftermath than it was there with her as it happened. All we can do is move forward, we'll take it one step at a time and learn our new reality as we go carefully onward. the next step will at least provide a decent distraction for a while as she and the father prepare a lawsuit (the trucks gear shift was faulty, pressure did not need to be applied to the brake when shifting between gears).