October.
I typically find that writing out my problems seems to fix them better, but what if you dont know what your problem is? Or have way to many to count. Lets see.....I work at a place that makes me wanna barf, I have bills coming out of my ass, I live in an apartment I am not so fond of, my car.....is a giant piece of shit. And every man i tend to become even slightly interested in? Its like a race to get in my pants and leave. Its 'Who wants to Fuck a Crazy Girl'. I really need to find a host for this show. I seriously believe Randy could do it. And i have pretty much decided I AM, infact, crazy. And i love it. Yes, I said it. All past bf's were correct, I am insane. Last night I was dancing in my underwear to Nickelback's 'Rockstar'. And I look out the window/padio door, and there are people watching me. What do i do? I keep dancing. Honestly....who the fuck does that? I was under the influence of some wicked Cold/Flu meds, but damn. I have lost it.
I find that October is a horrid month. Why, you ask? Well, because I am lonely. Because I have no one. Because it is cold and I am freezing at night and 5 blankets just dont keep me warm. I miss.....love. Actual love. Not having something with a penis sleep next to you. I am talking about the feeling of knowing that if some crazy ass were to bust through that door, that man next to me would protect me and that I would be just fine. I just want to know that someone thinks about me when i am sleeping, and that I am a highlight in their life. I am sick of this half assed relationship B.S. This friends with Benifits.....the let downs. This is why i am single. This is why i am not dating some idiot. In all actuality, i could be dating someone tommorow. But i dont want that. i want something right. I dont wanna just fall into something else. So I will stay cold at night. I will sleep with a cat next to me. And if some crazy ass with a gun busts in, I gotta knife and i will protect myself. But man, if you are out there, can you please find me, because......well......this really sucks.
I find that October is a horrid month. Why, you ask? Well, because I am lonely. Because I have no one. Because it is cold and I am freezing at night and 5 blankets just dont keep me warm. I miss.....love. Actual love. Not having something with a penis sleep next to you. I am talking about the feeling of knowing that if some crazy ass were to bust through that door, that man next to me would protect me and that I would be just fine. I just want to know that someone thinks about me when i am sleeping, and that I am a highlight in their life. I am sick of this half assed relationship B.S. This friends with Benifits.....the let downs. This is why i am single. This is why i am not dating some idiot. In all actuality, i could be dating someone tommorow. But i dont want that. i want something right. I dont wanna just fall into something else. So I will stay cold at night. I will sleep with a cat next to me. And if some crazy ass with a gun busts in, I gotta knife and i will protect myself. But man, if you are out there, can you please find me, because......well......this really sucks.