last month of impatience
Because I am such a fan of summing things up in concise sentences, and because I need to memorize some spewback answers for nosy family members, here are all the things that made me leave school/Calgary:
-My conscience can't handle wasting any more of my dad's money. It makes him happy to pay for me to learn, and it makes me guilty to admit that I'm not learning anymore.
-I stepped into the fine arts program and decided it makes me want to blow my brains out. I don't have the social know-how to ever enter that world. Pretentious people scare me. Their art makes no sense to me. I can't even take full advantage of of the resources at school because I'm so afraid of these people.
-I need to kick myself into unfamiliar surroundings if I am to learn anything about life. I have virtually no wisdom. I realized that my school life sucked when teachers started making me think about it (how about that?). For instance, I was given the topic of "the everyday" as a project starter in drawing class, and I came up with a montage of spacing out and feeling alone on public transportation.
http://i1196.photobucket.com/albums/aa420/gnewarned/hatemylife.jpg Don't talk to me, I'm not here.
(I later came up with the pug project for that class though, which is still one of the best things art school has pushed me into doing)
-Large city alienation is depressing as fuck and it's all I have ever known. I'm lost without this bullshit "social networking" that I've been told I "need" since junior high.
-I have found a beautiful place to live, and I'll have my best friend as a roommate. And I will draw comics forever until I have something to show for myself. Personal fulfillment. I've never come close to it.
-My conscience can't handle wasting any more of my dad's money. It makes him happy to pay for me to learn, and it makes me guilty to admit that I'm not learning anymore.
-I stepped into the fine arts program and decided it makes me want to blow my brains out. I don't have the social know-how to ever enter that world. Pretentious people scare me. Their art makes no sense to me. I can't even take full advantage of of the resources at school because I'm so afraid of these people.
-I need to kick myself into unfamiliar surroundings if I am to learn anything about life. I have virtually no wisdom. I realized that my school life sucked when teachers started making me think about it (how about that?). For instance, I was given the topic of "the everyday" as a project starter in drawing class, and I came up with a montage of spacing out and feeling alone on public transportation.
http://i1196.photobucket.com/albums/aa420/gnewarned/hatemylife.jpg Don't talk to me, I'm not here.
(I later came up with the pug project for that class though, which is still one of the best things art school has pushed me into doing)
-Large city alienation is depressing as fuck and it's all I have ever known. I'm lost without this bullshit "social networking" that I've been told I "need" since junior high.
-I have found a beautiful place to live, and I'll have my best friend as a roommate. And I will draw comics forever until I have something to show for myself. Personal fulfillment. I've never come close to it.