Almost Over..

[gnatuhlee]

The year was whatever. Just like any other regular year. Its strange how time goes by so fast..so much happens, so many memories and feelings you forget. I guess thats why I like these journals. I feel like it takes me back to the exact moment of specific times in my life that otherwise I would never have thought of or felt again. Although maybe sometimes its best that some memories remain forgotten. I looked back at some old entries on one of the three greatestjournal accounts I have, which arent really that old (this one is older). I read it from the beginning and just from the first three entries, I felt like I was back to the times when shit was bad between me and fernando, like it was happening all over again, like a time machine. Like there's something I could do now to change what happened, to do something differently. It fucking hurt so much to re-live it just by reading a journal. Which made me consider erasing the other accounts I had, since they consisted of nothing but unwanted memories. But then i thought that even tho it was something that happened, it wouldnt make any difference if i erased it or not. It still happened. Its a story from my life that I wouldnt have if it wasnt written, or typed. Even though it was a bad event that happened to me, its still my life. I dont know why, but i think I would want to print out my entries and comments and make a book out of it or something. Not to be all "ooh my life story! In a book store near YOU!" just to have for myself, like a scrapbook without the pictures....hmm..thats no fun :/ But still, I think its something I'd like to do. Just a thought.

5 minutes til 3pm. I'm about to go home now. I wont be able to say this later on today so might as well.....

HAPPY FUCKIN NEW YEAR!!!