Damn movie theatres.
It's starts off with the ticket lines. You finally get near the ticket window after what feels like hours and the jerks in front of you decide to ponder over which movie to see AFTER they're at the window.
"Uh....maybe we should see Passion of the Christ."
"Nah babe, I heard it was kinda traumatic."
"But I wanna see it, sweet 'ems."
"Look honey, the next show won't be until 10pm."
"We could go eat somewhere."
"How about that new restaurant I heard about...."
*me tapping foot behind them, waiting to buy tickets for show I already decided on BEFORE I stood in line*
Then there's the concession stands. If there's any business that should be sued for unfair practice, it should be movie concession stands. They take two popular movie snacks that cost practically nothing(popcorn, soda) and turn it around for 10,000% profit. And considering these stands get quite crowded, why they hire the most slow moving, idiotic staff is beyond me.
Ah, the theater itself. After dodging all the old popcorn, soda spills and puke stains, you finally find a decent seat in the theater because you came early. There's no one else in the theater, yet when the next couple comes into the theater, they have to sit 3 feet in front of you when there's literally hundreds of seats to choose from! WTF!
Movie starts and the real sh*t starts to hit the fan. Let's start with the "narrators." You know the type; he or she has probably seen the movie and insists on giving a play by play about what is happening or what is going to happen to their friend. I've even had the honor of sitting to someone who talked to himself about how he felt about each scene of the movie.
Then there are the coughers. From people with the flu to those heavy smokers who have probably burned up every clean spot in their lungs. When they hack, its disgusting. That's the last thing I need is to suck up someone else's bad air while trying to enjoy a movie I just paid too much for. If you're sick, stay home.
Cellphones? Don't get me started. Oh wait, too late. How can I say this simply? I'll quote my favorite response from a pissed movie goer when a phone went off during a performance. "Answer it, or turn that sh!t off!" Really people, the world won't end in the 90 minutes you are sitting in the theater. You won't be missed for that short of a time. Trust me. I've given people the evil stares when nearby cellphones go off and they look at me like I'm from Mars. They probably insist in their insecure cellphone-riddled world that I've done nothing wrong. Losers.
Babies. C'mon, really. Why does a newborn need to be brought to a rated R movie. Or any movie for that matter. It's cold, dark, loud and traumatic as hell. I'd scream my head off too. Too bad instructions don't come with babies when they're born. Lots of parents I see really need them.
I get my own REAL place, I think the first thing we'll get is a large screen TV and a decent surround sound system. Leather couch in the middle with a minimalist table to hold our snacks and soda we bought for at a 1/3 of the cost movie theaters charge. And we won't have people; I'm starting to hate them. Really. Courtesy is becoming a lost art.
Yes, I totally stole that from Roy. :O
"Uh....maybe we should see Passion of the Christ."
"Nah babe, I heard it was kinda traumatic."
"But I wanna see it, sweet 'ems."
"Look honey, the next show won't be until 10pm."
"We could go eat somewhere."
"How about that new restaurant I heard about...."
*me tapping foot behind them, waiting to buy tickets for show I already decided on BEFORE I stood in line*
Then there's the concession stands. If there's any business that should be sued for unfair practice, it should be movie concession stands. They take two popular movie snacks that cost practically nothing(popcorn, soda) and turn it around for 10,000% profit. And considering these stands get quite crowded, why they hire the most slow moving, idiotic staff is beyond me.
Ah, the theater itself. After dodging all the old popcorn, soda spills and puke stains, you finally find a decent seat in the theater because you came early. There's no one else in the theater, yet when the next couple comes into the theater, they have to sit 3 feet in front of you when there's literally hundreds of seats to choose from! WTF!
Movie starts and the real sh*t starts to hit the fan. Let's start with the "narrators." You know the type; he or she has probably seen the movie and insists on giving a play by play about what is happening or what is going to happen to their friend. I've even had the honor of sitting to someone who talked to himself about how he felt about each scene of the movie.
Then there are the coughers. From people with the flu to those heavy smokers who have probably burned up every clean spot in their lungs. When they hack, its disgusting. That's the last thing I need is to suck up someone else's bad air while trying to enjoy a movie I just paid too much for. If you're sick, stay home.
Cellphones? Don't get me started. Oh wait, too late. How can I say this simply? I'll quote my favorite response from a pissed movie goer when a phone went off during a performance. "Answer it, or turn that sh!t off!" Really people, the world won't end in the 90 minutes you are sitting in the theater. You won't be missed for that short of a time. Trust me. I've given people the evil stares when nearby cellphones go off and they look at me like I'm from Mars. They probably insist in their insecure cellphone-riddled world that I've done nothing wrong. Losers.
Babies. C'mon, really. Why does a newborn need to be brought to a rated R movie. Or any movie for that matter. It's cold, dark, loud and traumatic as hell. I'd scream my head off too. Too bad instructions don't come with babies when they're born. Lots of parents I see really need them.
I get my own REAL place, I think the first thing we'll get is a large screen TV and a decent surround sound system. Leather couch in the middle with a minimalist table to hold our snacks and soda we bought for at a 1/3 of the cost movie theaters charge. And we won't have people; I'm starting to hate them. Really. Courtesy is becoming a lost art.
Yes, I totally stole that from Roy. :O