Life lessons come from the strangest places sometimes...
I have a confession to make: I have been watching a whole lot of Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel this year. One of my aqua aerobics friends laughed when I mentioned this in the pool the other night, because I'm usually more of a Breaking Bad, Orange is the New Black, House of Cards type of person, but I have to say, even though these movies are ridiculously saccharine and formulaic, I can't seem to get enough of them. They are such great brain candy. And it hasn't ALL been a waste of time, I have learned lots of important life lessons from watching them, such as:
- A snowball fight is necessary to fall in love.
- Not sure which guy is The One? See the guy with the stubble all over his face? That's him.
- There are towns all over the US composed entirely of middle-class, straight, white people.
- Working women lead inherently unfulfilling lives. They need a husband and a few kids to be happy, and they also need to quit their inherently unfulfilling jobs (no matter how successful they are) and start a new business baking cookies.
- Your best friend/sister is always very wise and knows what's best for you better than you do.
- All Christmas ornaments are deeply symbolic and meaningful. ALL of them.
- Matchmakers are always paranormal in nature. They are also deeply, deeply creepy beings with no sense of personal boundaries.
- It's not uncommon to get trapped in a small town with no cell or landline service and no internet available. And when that happens, your car will also break down and it will take several days to get the necessary parts, so you have no choice but to fall in love while you're waiting for it to be fixed.
- If you sing or dance, there will just happen to be a Christmas pageant in your town and you will be the star.
- If the real Santa shows up (and I mean the real, honest-to-god Santa), no one is surprised to learn he's actually real. They may gasp once at the realization, but after that they all just take it in stride.
- All of life's major decisions need to be made in the month between (American) Thanksgiving and Christmas.
- A surprising number of actors from classic 70s and 80s sitcoms are pretty desperate for work.
Okay, off now to watch one of the 15 or so movies my DVR has recorded in the past three days...