more blabber
streetlights shine brighter than the moon. it's in this light that i see the glimmer of a puddle, one that i would not have seen had it not been for this sign of civilization, the only street light for as far as anyone could see. a warm orange glow approaches the mountains in the distance, but it's not the sun. sun would be on the other side. this light blinds me of the view as i reach the pool or water. rain just stopped today, seemed like it would pour until it damn near washed away the river. this hill is my safety, my private peephole to the world below, as nobody below has any whim of anyone standing atop it. in the pool the lone light provides a reflective surface over the water, where i can see someone inside. the figure looks like me, but blurry. its when i see the demeanor on the face that i realize it is not me. the boy in the puddle smiles at me, a smile that hadn't crossed my face since i last approached the world outside my peephole. it's a calming smile. i feel an attachment towards that boy, as if he were my own. i picture myself smiling but a smile will not crack through my frozen exterior. i start to turn back away from the boy but the wind turns my face. too cold to face. the hill gets steeper behind me, pushing me further down. my face thaws. i see a figure approaching me, seemingly immune to the freezing gusts that would seemingly make it impossible to turn back. the figure does not move but gets closer to me by the second
"can you help me?" he asks.
my mouth remains shut, i feel the words approaching my tongue and leaking out to his ears.
"i will try sir," say my lips, talking independently of my hollow body.
"you already know what you need to do, don't you?" he replies to the words that nobody else could claim. "she will never love you unless you do this. nobody can help you but you. i am only a messenger that your mind wants to see. i am not real. you can make me into anything you desire."
i look at him with the light behind me, but shadows cross his face. stepping to the side, i see that he is completely naked, shivering, in the cold breath from my lips.
all of a sudden my arms move involuntarily, lifting my shirt off and handing it to the man, whose face remains a blur of skin.
"my feet hurt," says the faceless man, whose voice stings my ears with familiarity, someone i know but cannot place a face to.
my shoes appear on his feet. i now feel the lack of warmth of my own soul, causing me to quake as this man who now wears my last source of warmth. all he produces on his face is a smile, as warm as the boy i saw in the reflection. who is this boy, i think to myself.
"good luck," said he with his calm, soothing voice. "walk the hill until warmth reaches your face."
i blink twice to see clearer but following the second blink, the stranger is past and behind me, and my feet take me further downhill. the wind bites my skin and pierces it, starting to bleed shortly. where once was a village at the bottom of the hill there is one lonely house. tears drop from my eyes and freeze the second they touch skin. pain is nothing until you can't blink anymore.
i know this house. my eyes search and find stones near the bottom of the drive up the lawn to the house. one window has a light inside. throwing a rock up my arm stops with a sharp biting pain, as i fall to my knees on the frozen tundra in front of the house. i reach back and throw a stone with all my strength at the window and almost smile as i hear the resounding sound of glass meeting granite. sinking again to my knees, my body loses all strength and i fall in a pile of naked frozen shards on the ground.
warmth.
kissing me on my lips, in cut-up pieces, i feel a mending of my heart.
thawing, they manage a smile, and release the tears from their frozen containers.
they open and see that smile again...the same smile i see in ever dream, every puddle, every reflecting surface that crosses my path. she is all i ever want anyone to be, it took human torture to figure this out for myself.
my heart seizes as realization makes its way from the brain
her kiss wakes me up in our bed, and i hug her harder than i ever had before, begging her never to leave me without her face again. i love her.
"can you help me?" he asks.
my mouth remains shut, i feel the words approaching my tongue and leaking out to his ears.
"i will try sir," say my lips, talking independently of my hollow body.
"you already know what you need to do, don't you?" he replies to the words that nobody else could claim. "she will never love you unless you do this. nobody can help you but you. i am only a messenger that your mind wants to see. i am not real. you can make me into anything you desire."
i look at him with the light behind me, but shadows cross his face. stepping to the side, i see that he is completely naked, shivering, in the cold breath from my lips.
all of a sudden my arms move involuntarily, lifting my shirt off and handing it to the man, whose face remains a blur of skin.
"my feet hurt," says the faceless man, whose voice stings my ears with familiarity, someone i know but cannot place a face to.
my shoes appear on his feet. i now feel the lack of warmth of my own soul, causing me to quake as this man who now wears my last source of warmth. all he produces on his face is a smile, as warm as the boy i saw in the reflection. who is this boy, i think to myself.
"good luck," said he with his calm, soothing voice. "walk the hill until warmth reaches your face."
i blink twice to see clearer but following the second blink, the stranger is past and behind me, and my feet take me further downhill. the wind bites my skin and pierces it, starting to bleed shortly. where once was a village at the bottom of the hill there is one lonely house. tears drop from my eyes and freeze the second they touch skin. pain is nothing until you can't blink anymore.
i know this house. my eyes search and find stones near the bottom of the drive up the lawn to the house. one window has a light inside. throwing a rock up my arm stops with a sharp biting pain, as i fall to my knees on the frozen tundra in front of the house. i reach back and throw a stone with all my strength at the window and almost smile as i hear the resounding sound of glass meeting granite. sinking again to my knees, my body loses all strength and i fall in a pile of naked frozen shards on the ground.
warmth.
kissing me on my lips, in cut-up pieces, i feel a mending of my heart.
thawing, they manage a smile, and release the tears from their frozen containers.
they open and see that smile again...the same smile i see in ever dream, every puddle, every reflecting surface that crosses my path. she is all i ever want anyone to be, it took human torture to figure this out for myself.
my heart seizes as realization makes its way from the brain
her kiss wakes me up in our bed, and i hug her harder than i ever had before, begging her never to leave me without her face again. i love her.