Application for Skwisgaar Skwigelf
Much like Nathan, Skwisgaar decided to forego all the nasty work of writing an application and just say it outloud, despite his thick and sometimes even unintelligible Swedish accent.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"I likes any cheese excepts for ones withs Oregano. I am very allergics to it. Buts Grevé is my favorites, I thinks."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"I thinks my mother may haves fucked Carrottop, sos he would have to dies first. But ja, I would kills Barney nexts."
3. What time is it where you are?
Skwisgaar obviously misunderstood the intent of the question. "It is two thousands and seven. Where haves you been?"
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Definitely Molly Weasel-y. She is one hot MILF. And that Minerva McGongoo- Gonagi- De cats lady, she is a total GMILF. Oh, I woulds do the ladies with de colors change hair. Ah, screws it, I would bangs all de sluts."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Please, I woulds not have to tends my own bar, I woulds pays someone else. But I woulds totally name it 'Valhallska," because that is a metal name."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"That is totally dildoes. Hasn't Harry ever heards of threeways? He should bangs boths of them. And some MILFs too. Ats the same time."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Bah, paperworks is dildoes. I almosts boughts a chain restaraunt, buts I never finished the stupid paperworks. Your manager guys is probably putting it there, but I justs burns it."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I am the world's fastest guitarist- that's right, even Toki is dildoes compared to me. Then agains, Toki is always dildoes at guitar."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Oh, I haves to gives you guys stuffs? What in the fucking names of Odin is this kinds of place? Fines, yous can haves one of my guitars. I haves a Swiss Army-tar, an ant farm-itar, the Gibson Excaliburtar, and a guitars made from the woods of the True Cross. Oh, and I haves money. Lots of money."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. SS
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. SS
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. SS
One day, marmalade will rule the world. SS"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"I likes any cheese excepts for ones withs Oregano. I am very allergics to it. Buts Grevé is my favorites, I thinks."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"I thinks my mother may haves fucked Carrottop, sos he would have to dies first. But ja, I would kills Barney nexts."
3. What time is it where you are?
Skwisgaar obviously misunderstood the intent of the question. "It is two thousands and seven. Where haves you been?"
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Definitely Molly Weasel-y. She is one hot MILF. And that Minerva McGongoo- Gonagi- De cats lady, she is a total GMILF. Oh, I woulds do the ladies with de colors change hair. Ah, screws it, I would bangs all de sluts."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Please, I woulds not have to tends my own bar, I woulds pays someone else. But I woulds totally name it 'Valhallska," because that is a metal name."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"That is totally dildoes. Hasn't Harry ever heards of threeways? He should bangs boths of them. And some MILFs too. Ats the same time."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Bah, paperworks is dildoes. I almosts boughts a chain restaraunt, buts I never finished the stupid paperworks. Your manager guys is probably putting it there, but I justs burns it."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I am the world's fastest guitarist- that's right, even Toki is dildoes compared to me. Then agains, Toki is always dildoes at guitar."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Oh, I haves to gives you guys stuffs? What in the fucking names of Odin is this kinds of place? Fines, yous can haves one of my guitars. I haves a Swiss Army-tar, an ant farm-itar, the Gibson Excaliburtar, and a guitars made from the woods of the True Cross. Oh, and I haves money. Lots of money."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. SS
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. SS
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. SS
One day, marmalade will rule the world. SS"