On "Making"
A recent blog post on the subject of "making love" vs. "having sex" got me to thinking about things people make. Most of them fall into two broad categories: creation and influence. We make cookies, we make our beds, we make cars, we make war; we make someone happy, we can't make a horse drink, "the devil made me buy this dress," and so on.
There are three major exceptions that come to mind: making love, making good and making strange. Of these, the easy one to explain is making good: people make good on promises or threats, fulfilling them, or the simply make good in life, finding success and, presumably, fulfilment.
Small children are said to make strange, to react with shyness and distrust to strangers or even to people they have not encountered in some time. This seems to be a perfectly reasonable caution in adults beyond certain social conventions, but we find it quaint and noteworthy in the young, probably because they have not yet internalized those social cues. Imagine how commerce would fare if we approached each customer or clerk with the reluctance of a two-year old being placed on Santa's lap.
This brings us again to making love. I'm not saying that every sexual encounter involves an emotional investment: what would become of sex-trade workers or the Barney Stinson amateurs of casual sex if it did? However, some encounters are an expression of that feeling, whether those involved are "friends with benefits" or committed life partners. I, for one, refuse to see the phrase as a mere euphemism. There are times when it is used as such and it is thus cheapened like a standing ovation for a mediocre performance, but there are also times when it is the perfect descriptor.
There are three major exceptions that come to mind: making love, making good and making strange. Of these, the easy one to explain is making good: people make good on promises or threats, fulfilling them, or the simply make good in life, finding success and, presumably, fulfilment.
Small children are said to make strange, to react with shyness and distrust to strangers or even to people they have not encountered in some time. This seems to be a perfectly reasonable caution in adults beyond certain social conventions, but we find it quaint and noteworthy in the young, probably because they have not yet internalized those social cues. Imagine how commerce would fare if we approached each customer or clerk with the reluctance of a two-year old being placed on Santa's lap.
This brings us again to making love. I'm not saying that every sexual encounter involves an emotional investment: what would become of sex-trade workers or the Barney Stinson amateurs of casual sex if it did? However, some encounters are an expression of that feeling, whether those involved are "friends with benefits" or committed life partners. I, for one, refuse to see the phrase as a mere euphemism. There are times when it is used as such and it is thus cheapened like a standing ovation for a mediocre performance, but there are also times when it is the perfect descriptor.