You'll always be my thunder.
I know I said my last entry would probably be my last, but sometimes I just can't let go.
I just got done reading "The Perks of being a Wallflower". It really brought things into perspective. It just fit really well, especially in this moment. Have you ever heard a song or read a book or a poem that just...FITS, I don't know how else to describe it. It felt like i just read letters that I myself wrote. I could see parts of my life in that book. It was just, fantastic. And it made me hopeful. And it made me sad.
I'm leaving in 19 days. I'm starting a new life. I'm scared. I'm excited and I'm anxious. I'm afraid I'm going to forget how to be responsible. Or not know how to deal with finances and taxes and important forms. I won't be completely on my own but for the most part I will be. I'm afraid I'll forget things I need. But, don't get me wrong. I really am ready to get out of here.
I'm ready to just move on. Get away from everyone that knows me and start over with a CLEAN SLATE. Just start over new. As much as I'm going to miss my friends, I know I need to make some new ones out there. And I'm ready for a relationship with someone. I really am. I'm ready to settle down for a while. I've been through the party it up type love life and I'm not happy with it. There's one person here at home that I've dated before and we've been hanging out lately and I was kind of hoping for soemthing to come out of it. But he's younger and will be in school for another year, and around little high school bimbos. And I don't know if he'd even want to try again, because I was the one that broke up with him, and because I don't know if he'll want to deal with the distance anyway. I had a dream about him last night and it made me ecstatic. Then I woke up and realized it was just a dream and that saddened me. But everything will work out in time.
I don't have anyhting ready to go to school. I still have to do all my shopping and all my packing. 19 days to do that. I still can't believe I'll be leaving.
I just got done reading "The Perks of being a Wallflower". It really brought things into perspective. It just fit really well, especially in this moment. Have you ever heard a song or read a book or a poem that just...FITS, I don't know how else to describe it. It felt like i just read letters that I myself wrote. I could see parts of my life in that book. It was just, fantastic. And it made me hopeful. And it made me sad.
I'm leaving in 19 days. I'm starting a new life. I'm scared. I'm excited and I'm anxious. I'm afraid I'm going to forget how to be responsible. Or not know how to deal with finances and taxes and important forms. I won't be completely on my own but for the most part I will be. I'm afraid I'll forget things I need. But, don't get me wrong. I really am ready to get out of here.
I'm ready to just move on. Get away from everyone that knows me and start over with a CLEAN SLATE. Just start over new. As much as I'm going to miss my friends, I know I need to make some new ones out there. And I'm ready for a relationship with someone. I really am. I'm ready to settle down for a while. I've been through the party it up type love life and I'm not happy with it. There's one person here at home that I've dated before and we've been hanging out lately and I was kind of hoping for soemthing to come out of it. But he's younger and will be in school for another year, and around little high school bimbos. And I don't know if he'd even want to try again, because I was the one that broke up with him, and because I don't know if he'll want to deal with the distance anyway. I had a dream about him last night and it made me ecstatic. Then I woke up and realized it was just a dream and that saddened me. But everything will work out in time.
I don't have anyhting ready to go to school. I still have to do all my shopping and all my packing. 19 days to do that. I still can't believe I'll be leaving.