so it begins
My name is Becca. I weigh 137 pounds - thats 9st 11 for those of you who don't do pounds - and to be honest thats not really good enough. I look in the mirror and I feel ugly - I move and the flab around my stomach jiggles - whatever I do I can never be pretty - I can never beat the feelings of inadequacy that lie like snakes at the pit of my stomach whenever I see - and as much as I like to tell myself that the feelings of inadequacy are due to deepseated emotional defects - but thats just not really true, my inadequacy is due to my actual inadequacy. I want to be like the girls in the magazines, so that i can walk on the beach in a bikini and not feel like a whale. I want to be a size 8, I want to weigh 105 pounds. I want to see my ribs and have my wrists jut out. I like that. I like it in the girls and the guys I date. After I post this i am going to go to asda and buy a pair of scales. And this will be my diary - this is when it gets serious. I've been bulemic and anorexic on and off for the best part of a year - I've always failed because I have no self-control. It ends now. I will be the person I want to be, beautiful and thin and respected, not a goofy chubby hippy bitch who is good for a lay but nothing else.
It all ends and starts now.
It all ends and starts now.