winter time

[gloworm94]

Ive burned so many bridges here on LJ.  you read the entries through 3 GFs, one very serious.  and all i have left are 2 shirts i still wear.  trashed the rest.  im wondering if thats why its hard for me to get into a relationship.  my mom has been single my whole life and hardly any one in my family gets married.  matter of fact if never even been to one wedding.  my cousin.  but they been liveing together for 10 years.  it does effect you.  and every one drinks their life away on my dads side of the family.  Fighting not able to go on certian sides of towns and visit certian cities because of warrents.  growning up around that stuff does have some affect on you.  autumn is showing up beautifully and i always get love sick this time of year.  i always eitheir talk to someone, or i was with someone this time of year.  alot of memories this time of year.  good and bad.  its time to make some more memories.   i want to go on a road trip.  really bad.  my friend went on one and i saw her pictures, it looked like so much fun.  i want that.  FUN. ive lost alot of friends.  out of touch.  i miss them dearly.  i got new ones, but they dont worry me or stress me.  and they give no drama.  they are saved, its my other friends im worried about.  mike, ian, jermy, deo, ramiro.  you wouldnt belive what i went through with them,  they were with me before i was safed, and covered there ears when i became saved, but loved me just the same.  God i want to hug them so bad right now.  i honestly miss them more than ive missed any girl i ever was with. 
and about girls my  mom is the number one woman in my life till the day i get married.  a few in my life have climbed high in the rankings.  but my mom is still here, and always will be.