Today Jim turns 19!
Tomorrow will be my third day of summer ochem II. I like my prof, and Chapel Hill is just so beautiful. I actually like it. My history class at state starts next week. It's gonna be crazy balancing the two, but oh well.
I still need to finish my paper. fucking a.
I've been reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad, which is a fabulous book. I'll probably re-read it, which is something i never do with books. My goal is to a live a life of complete financial freedom so that I can enjoy what life has to offer and provide for my family.
Home is good, because I don't have to pay for rent or food or gas and I get to spend time with my little sister and brothers, parents and grandparents. But on the flipside, it is so stressful, and there is so much negative energy around here. My mom owns her own business, and she works at home. She hates it because there's no other people around - you need interaction with other people to be happy. So she's miserable about being alone all day and in addition to that she hasn't had work in a while and she's stressing out like whoa, prediciting doomsday and the end of her business. Being severely depressed about the pressure to pay bills, pay the mortgage, pay for Jim's college, pay for car insurance, pay for health insurance, pay to replace carpets that have been destroyed in our house, pay for new countertops and appliances so that if we wanted to sell our house it would be marketable, and on and on and on. She gets depressed and cries and tells me over and over that "I don't understand" "No one understands" "Your dad doens't help" and it's exhausting. It really is.
It also sucks that I don't really have anyone to hang out with in Raleigh. It's not that I'm a homebody, but I don't have any other options right now. I'm excited to move into my own place hopefully in the early fall, so all day long i search craig's list for apartments and furniture. Then I get greedy and to to pottery barn and ethan allen and daydream about nice furniture.
I try to do all I can to create a positive and peaceful environment at home, but I'm only one person and sometimes it seems like everyone is against me. Not that that means i'm going to give up or change, but it's hard nevertheless.
Big sigh. Big big sigh.
I still need to finish my paper. fucking a.
I've been reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad, which is a fabulous book. I'll probably re-read it, which is something i never do with books. My goal is to a live a life of complete financial freedom so that I can enjoy what life has to offer and provide for my family.
Home is good, because I don't have to pay for rent or food or gas and I get to spend time with my little sister and brothers, parents and grandparents. But on the flipside, it is so stressful, and there is so much negative energy around here. My mom owns her own business, and she works at home. She hates it because there's no other people around - you need interaction with other people to be happy. So she's miserable about being alone all day and in addition to that she hasn't had work in a while and she's stressing out like whoa, prediciting doomsday and the end of her business. Being severely depressed about the pressure to pay bills, pay the mortgage, pay for Jim's college, pay for car insurance, pay for health insurance, pay to replace carpets that have been destroyed in our house, pay for new countertops and appliances so that if we wanted to sell our house it would be marketable, and on and on and on. She gets depressed and cries and tells me over and over that "I don't understand" "No one understands" "Your dad doens't help" and it's exhausting. It really is.
It also sucks that I don't really have anyone to hang out with in Raleigh. It's not that I'm a homebody, but I don't have any other options right now. I'm excited to move into my own place hopefully in the early fall, so all day long i search craig's list for apartments and furniture. Then I get greedy and to to pottery barn and ethan allen and daydream about nice furniture.
I try to do all I can to create a positive and peaceful environment at home, but I'm only one person and sometimes it seems like everyone is against me. Not that that means i'm going to give up or change, but it's hard nevertheless.
Big sigh. Big big sigh.