good alignment
I got kicked out of the red cloud about I believe 5 months ago, It still pisses me off sometimes. Like a $20 dollar margarita. What more could I have said or done? nothing, what did I really do? I couldn't move things along quick enough, the very thing that frustrated me about david, my so called partner in crime. A truely odd guy in too many ways to mention, all in all a great soul but definitly misguided, defensive, oversensitive and inflexiable. The friendship tore in two and now it just sits on the side of the curb somewhere in Tennesee. His posistion in life and in music is unclear, ever changing, I can't fault anyone for that I am in no way better because my vision is clearer. I am just in a different place.
Did that happen for a reason? used to believe everything happened for a reason, it does, but its not something cosmic like people make it out to be. Its dilberate action, ethier consciously or subconciously. I guess I could have posted my own blog to try and make him look bad or make myself look good, maybe you think that's what im trying to do now. But the point of this all is really for me, yeah i know its selfish, but i dont care. I need to open the vent. Why else would I keep a journal? why would i need attention to justify my stupid actions and put the fault and blame on the shoulders of the people involved in my daily life? or even in the fault of people i dont even know, who i will never know. But god so have it, i just dont like them.
Perceptions of time are on the top of the list in my thoughts as of late, i sit in a quite room or in a noisy car and all i can think of is everything else going on thats not present. I feel so anxious day to day about who i will be in the future, if ill be with someone, if ill change careers or change my journey again. For me there is two options: 1. Get another band together and keep pursuing the ever so difficult trek to glory via record signing, live shows, demos, etc.. 2. Go for the business venture, ethier in the recording end of things or in the management end of things 3. Do something completely different, be one of those people " if you'd ask me 10 years ago if i'd be selling tile i'd have told you to go fly a kite "
i think its time to fly my kite.
Did that happen for a reason? used to believe everything happened for a reason, it does, but its not something cosmic like people make it out to be. Its dilberate action, ethier consciously or subconciously. I guess I could have posted my own blog to try and make him look bad or make myself look good, maybe you think that's what im trying to do now. But the point of this all is really for me, yeah i know its selfish, but i dont care. I need to open the vent. Why else would I keep a journal? why would i need attention to justify my stupid actions and put the fault and blame on the shoulders of the people involved in my daily life? or even in the fault of people i dont even know, who i will never know. But god so have it, i just dont like them.
Perceptions of time are on the top of the list in my thoughts as of late, i sit in a quite room or in a noisy car and all i can think of is everything else going on thats not present. I feel so anxious day to day about who i will be in the future, if ill be with someone, if ill change careers or change my journey again. For me there is two options: 1. Get another band together and keep pursuing the ever so difficult trek to glory via record signing, live shows, demos, etc.. 2. Go for the business venture, ethier in the recording end of things or in the management end of things 3. Do something completely different, be one of those people " if you'd ask me 10 years ago if i'd be selling tile i'd have told you to go fly a kite "
i think its time to fly my kite.