shit happens.
sigh. stress level = very high.... i need to catch up, so heres the scoop:
♥ i recieved my ACT scores the other day.. 17.. go me. JCC here I come. oh well, that was sort of the plan anyway... I have to take it again though so I can get a better score cuz my dad thinks i can do better.
♥ i think i may have some sort of "brain problem" that causes me to struggle in every aspect of my life. my dad is doing research on it.
♥ i found out that i indeed DID get FIRED from my job, i didnt quit. And of course it was my own damn sister that did the firing. She told me "a mentally challenged person could have done your job better than you did." thing is - i didnt think i was doing so bad. oh well. fuck her.
♥ my family, teachers, councelers are all telling me to my face that my life is not going to equal out to anything and i will be a fuck up bum forever. i wish i were exagerating.
♥ my dad took me to lunch today to discuss the issue above. we disscused moving out and separating ourselves from my family, because he hates the way we are both treated so negatively. hes been disscussing this with my mother for years apparently. there would be no divorce, my family would just be split in two. i pray that we are able to do so.
♥ my dad might be getting a second job to help with our financial troubles.
♥ i cant find a new job until february if i am lucky and get the job at the tanning bed.
♥ greg and hans live in louisville. this makes me tremble. i saw hans driving down 42 today, and nearly threw up.
♥ im fucking sick of crying.
i think thats it. this isnt an "oh feel bad for me" entry... im just updating since i havent in a while... as you can see, ive been a little busy.. trying to distract myself.
♥ i recieved my ACT scores the other day.. 17.. go me. JCC here I come. oh well, that was sort of the plan anyway... I have to take it again though so I can get a better score cuz my dad thinks i can do better.
♥ i think i may have some sort of "brain problem" that causes me to struggle in every aspect of my life. my dad is doing research on it.
♥ i found out that i indeed DID get FIRED from my job, i didnt quit. And of course it was my own damn sister that did the firing. She told me "a mentally challenged person could have done your job better than you did." thing is - i didnt think i was doing so bad. oh well. fuck her.
♥ my family, teachers, councelers are all telling me to my face that my life is not going to equal out to anything and i will be a fuck up bum forever. i wish i were exagerating.
♥ my dad took me to lunch today to discuss the issue above. we disscused moving out and separating ourselves from my family, because he hates the way we are both treated so negatively. hes been disscussing this with my mother for years apparently. there would be no divorce, my family would just be split in two. i pray that we are able to do so.
♥ my dad might be getting a second job to help with our financial troubles.
♥ i cant find a new job until february if i am lucky and get the job at the tanning bed.
♥ greg and hans live in louisville. this makes me tremble. i saw hans driving down 42 today, and nearly threw up.
♥ im fucking sick of crying.
i think thats it. this isnt an "oh feel bad for me" entry... im just updating since i havent in a while... as you can see, ive been a little busy.. trying to distract myself.