One Doctor and a Baby
Title: One Doctor and a Baby
Rating: G/ all ages
Genre: Crackish Fluff
Spoilers: none
Characters: Ten, Jackie, Rose, OC
Summary: Ten gets back to alt!Earth. Post Doomsday.
Beta Reader: bananasandroses
Another fic for
spastasmagoria , with the following requests: Ten, Jackie's baby, and underpants.
_____________________________
The TARDIS jerked and rocked in an alarming fashion but she held. When they landed at last, she was fine. No explosions, no giving up more years of his life in exchange for a return trip. He clicked his fingers in triumph, cross the void, home in time for tea. No problem. Truly, he was stunningly brilliant.
He dug out his phone and made sure the Tylers hadn't moved. Nope, still there. Could this have been any easier? Why hadn't he managed this years ago?
* * *
As he stood at the front door waiting for an answer to his knock, his good mood faltered slightly. Would Rose be happy to see him? Just how long had it been for her anyway? He thought it could not have been more than a year or so since their goodbye, but time moved differently here. It felt different to his Time Lord senses. Hard to track.
He was torn suddenly from his thoughts as the front door was opened wide by a very harried, rather startled Jackie Tyler; one hand pressing a telephone to her ear, the other occupied with a squalling baby.
She boggled at him for a moment, open-mouthed, and then broke from her spell as the person on the other end of the phone line called her name loud enough for him to hear. She pulled the phone from her ear and stared at it as though it had appeared by magic. Then, she seemed to recover herself, and spoke to the caller.
"What? No. No. I can't talk about that now... No, listen...Listen! It doesn't matter... Mickey, he's here," she moved the phone from her mouth so she could speak to the Doctor. "It's Mickey,” she told him, unnecessarily.
He nodded, not even trying to hold in his grin.
She went back to the phone. "Mickey, I said... no I mean... Yes. Here, here. Right now... 'Course I'm sure, I'm looking at him, aren't I?" She pulled the phone away, and rolled her eyes. "Idiot."
A determined look crossed her face, one he knew all too well, and he began to feel very, very nervous. She reached out abruptly and pulled him inside by his collar, nearly knocking him over the head with the phone in the process.
"Well, what are you still standing out there, for?” she scolded, before turning her attention back to the phone and Mickey. "Now, shut up and listen to me, Mickey Smith. Stop talking to me, and get Rose to come ’round right now.... What? She's where?" Jackie sighed in exasperation and did a rather impressive watch-check/baby-bounce manoeuvre. "No. Tell her to stay there," she told Mickey. "I'll go and get her myself. Right."
She ended the call and rattled off several rapid sentences that made even his superior brain spin. There was something about a new car, and London, and an “I'll be back,” then a “would you mind watching little Pete? Thank you, 'bye.” Almost before he could blink, Jackie was gone and he stood alone in the Tyler residence, holding a grumpy and confused infant who gazed up into his face and promptly began to wail again. The Doctor knew exactly how he felt. Then an entirely different feeling caught his attention.
***
This was too much. This universe was not rewarding his complete and utter brilliance in any way. He mentally listed his grievances:
First: no Rose.
Second: a Jackie who had seemed happy to see him - but ...
Third: abandoned him to baby-sit, and finally...
"This is really, really too much," the Doctor said out loud as he stripped off his thoroughly dampened trousers. The source of said dampness was decidedly unimpressed. At least he'd stopped crying. Once Pete Jr. had wiggled out of his wet nappy, his mood had improved greatly. However, if the Doctor knew anything about babies it was that an uncovered bottom was a dangerous thing. He had ample evidence in front of him.
The Doctor sighed dramatically, despite his less than appreciative audience, and went in search of a washing machine and a clean nappy.
***
Things were finally looking up. His trousers were clean thanks to some small modifications to Jackie's washing machine, and would be dry in a few more minutes. He located the baby's room and quickly snatched up a fresh nappy.
"Well, Pete Jr. of Pete's World" - he couldn't help grinning at his own joke, as he laid the child on the changing table - "I trust we'll have no more trouble from you."
There was a loud bang from downstairs, sounding very much like the front door opening violently.
Rose's voice drifted through the house.
“Doctor, are you here? Doctor?"
He frantically fastened the nappy, hoping he could still escape and find something with which he could cover himself.
Rose sounded annoyed now. "Really, Doctor, have you come all this way just to hide from me?"
He had just deposited little Pete Jr. in his cot when Rose appeared in the doorway. He was cornered.
Rose just stood there and stared at him for a moment. Her eyes swept up and down, narrowing suspiciously while taking him in; his shirttails only just concealing the paisley patterned underpants. He swallowed hard. Then, like a predator sensing weakness, she moved in.
"So, Doctor," she began, unnervingly casual, "nice to see you by the way. How was your day, exactly?”
He was flustered. His mind, usually occupied with half a dozen lines of thought, was having trouble focussing on just one. What should he say? What should he do? He mentally shook himself and rattled though his usual tactics when faced with an enemy; run away, Oncoming Storm, confuse with senseless babble, distraction, calm and quiet appeals to reason... He had to get it just right.
"Um, well..." he managed, sounding, annoyingly, like a guilty teenager. Well, there would certainly be no Oncoming Storming after that.
Rose feigned a thoughtful pose, chin in her hand, while a single finger tapped at her check. Trouble would surely be following. She began circling him slowly. He quickly struck running away from his list of options. This was going to be more difficult than he thought
"Okay, let me help." she said at last. "You got up this morning and thought: 'Hmm. What should I do today? I know! I'll do the impossible, and cross the vast, scary, uncrossable void. Then, I'll go and look for Rose. And when I find her? Let's see, I think - instead of talking to her - I'll roam around her parents’ house and I don't know, just for fun, I'll take off my trousers.’ “ She paused, her lips twisting into a smirk. “Does that sound like it?"
"Rose! You can't - I mean - really Rose,"he stammered out.
Right, appealing to reason was out. Babbling, perhaps?
"Well you see, there are many, many complicated and logical reasons why you should ... Um-" he trailed off as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and blurted, "Rose Tyler, I love you!"
Then he pounced on her and did his best to kiss her senseless.
Okay, distraction it was.
After far less time than the Doctor might have imagined, Rose seemed much less inclined to question his state of dress. Yep, still got it, he thought to himself.
Of course, when he heard Jackie Tyler's voice - loud, irate and far too close - he realised this universe was not quite done with him yet.
"What's going on here?"
It was at that point the Doctor realised that maybe there was a reason why some things should remain impossible.
Rating: G/ all ages
Genre: Crackish Fluff
Spoilers: none
Characters: Ten, Jackie, Rose, OC
Summary: Ten gets back to alt!Earth. Post Doomsday.
Beta Reader: bananasandroses
Another fic for
spastasmagoria , with the following requests: Ten, Jackie's baby, and underpants.
_____________________________
The TARDIS jerked and rocked in an alarming fashion but she held. When they landed at last, she was fine. No explosions, no giving up more years of his life in exchange for a return trip. He clicked his fingers in triumph, cross the void, home in time for tea. No problem. Truly, he was stunningly brilliant.
He dug out his phone and made sure the Tylers hadn't moved. Nope, still there. Could this have been any easier? Why hadn't he managed this years ago?
* * *
As he stood at the front door waiting for an answer to his knock, his good mood faltered slightly. Would Rose be happy to see him? Just how long had it been for her anyway? He thought it could not have been more than a year or so since their goodbye, but time moved differently here. It felt different to his Time Lord senses. Hard to track.
He was torn suddenly from his thoughts as the front door was opened wide by a very harried, rather startled Jackie Tyler; one hand pressing a telephone to her ear, the other occupied with a squalling baby.
She boggled at him for a moment, open-mouthed, and then broke from her spell as the person on the other end of the phone line called her name loud enough for him to hear. She pulled the phone from her ear and stared at it as though it had appeared by magic. Then, she seemed to recover herself, and spoke to the caller.
"What? No. No. I can't talk about that now... No, listen...Listen! It doesn't matter... Mickey, he's here," she moved the phone from her mouth so she could speak to the Doctor. "It's Mickey,” she told him, unnecessarily.
He nodded, not even trying to hold in his grin.
She went back to the phone. "Mickey, I said... no I mean... Yes. Here, here. Right now... 'Course I'm sure, I'm looking at him, aren't I?" She pulled the phone away, and rolled her eyes. "Idiot."
A determined look crossed her face, one he knew all too well, and he began to feel very, very nervous. She reached out abruptly and pulled him inside by his collar, nearly knocking him over the head with the phone in the process.
"Well, what are you still standing out there, for?” she scolded, before turning her attention back to the phone and Mickey. "Now, shut up and listen to me, Mickey Smith. Stop talking to me, and get Rose to come ’round right now.... What? She's where?" Jackie sighed in exasperation and did a rather impressive watch-check/baby-bounce manoeuvre. "No. Tell her to stay there," she told Mickey. "I'll go and get her myself. Right."
She ended the call and rattled off several rapid sentences that made even his superior brain spin. There was something about a new car, and London, and an “I'll be back,” then a “would you mind watching little Pete? Thank you, 'bye.” Almost before he could blink, Jackie was gone and he stood alone in the Tyler residence, holding a grumpy and confused infant who gazed up into his face and promptly began to wail again. The Doctor knew exactly how he felt. Then an entirely different feeling caught his attention.
***
This was too much. This universe was not rewarding his complete and utter brilliance in any way. He mentally listed his grievances:
First: no Rose.
Second: a Jackie who had seemed happy to see him - but ...
Third: abandoned him to baby-sit, and finally...
"This is really, really too much," the Doctor said out loud as he stripped off his thoroughly dampened trousers. The source of said dampness was decidedly unimpressed. At least he'd stopped crying. Once Pete Jr. had wiggled out of his wet nappy, his mood had improved greatly. However, if the Doctor knew anything about babies it was that an uncovered bottom was a dangerous thing. He had ample evidence in front of him.
The Doctor sighed dramatically, despite his less than appreciative audience, and went in search of a washing machine and a clean nappy.
***
Things were finally looking up. His trousers were clean thanks to some small modifications to Jackie's washing machine, and would be dry in a few more minutes. He located the baby's room and quickly snatched up a fresh nappy.
"Well, Pete Jr. of Pete's World" - he couldn't help grinning at his own joke, as he laid the child on the changing table - "I trust we'll have no more trouble from you."
There was a loud bang from downstairs, sounding very much like the front door opening violently.
Rose's voice drifted through the house.
“Doctor, are you here? Doctor?"
He frantically fastened the nappy, hoping he could still escape and find something with which he could cover himself.
Rose sounded annoyed now. "Really, Doctor, have you come all this way just to hide from me?"
He had just deposited little Pete Jr. in his cot when Rose appeared in the doorway. He was cornered.
Rose just stood there and stared at him for a moment. Her eyes swept up and down, narrowing suspiciously while taking him in; his shirttails only just concealing the paisley patterned underpants. He swallowed hard. Then, like a predator sensing weakness, she moved in.
"So, Doctor," she began, unnervingly casual, "nice to see you by the way. How was your day, exactly?”
He was flustered. His mind, usually occupied with half a dozen lines of thought, was having trouble focussing on just one. What should he say? What should he do? He mentally shook himself and rattled though his usual tactics when faced with an enemy; run away, Oncoming Storm, confuse with senseless babble, distraction, calm and quiet appeals to reason... He had to get it just right.
"Um, well..." he managed, sounding, annoyingly, like a guilty teenager. Well, there would certainly be no Oncoming Storming after that.
Rose feigned a thoughtful pose, chin in her hand, while a single finger tapped at her check. Trouble would surely be following. She began circling him slowly. He quickly struck running away from his list of options. This was going to be more difficult than he thought
"Okay, let me help." she said at last. "You got up this morning and thought: 'Hmm. What should I do today? I know! I'll do the impossible, and cross the vast, scary, uncrossable void. Then, I'll go and look for Rose. And when I find her? Let's see, I think - instead of talking to her - I'll roam around her parents’ house and I don't know, just for fun, I'll take off my trousers.’ “ She paused, her lips twisting into a smirk. “Does that sound like it?"
"Rose! You can't - I mean - really Rose,"he stammered out.
Right, appealing to reason was out. Babbling, perhaps?
"Well you see, there are many, many complicated and logical reasons why you should ... Um-" he trailed off as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and blurted, "Rose Tyler, I love you!"
Then he pounced on her and did his best to kiss her senseless.
Okay, distraction it was.
After far less time than the Doctor might have imagined, Rose seemed much less inclined to question his state of dress. Yep, still got it, he thought to himself.
Of course, when he heard Jackie Tyler's voice - loud, irate and far too close - he realised this universe was not quite done with him yet.
"What's going on here?"
It was at that point the Doctor realised that maybe there was a reason why some things should remain impossible.