Crack!fic: Onomatopoeia
Title: Onomatopoeia
Author: glory-jean
Pairing/Characters: Ten/Rose
Rating: All Ages
Summary: Rose and Ten face some noisy aliens.
Beta Reader achuislemochroi
Disclaimer Need I even say it about this one?
Author's Notes: Crack!fic. I gave the prompt "onomatopoeia" to the author formerly known as bananasandroses and gave myself a crack!bunny. Go and nag her where her fic now lives to post the results of that prompt. (AKA the "good onomatpoeia fic.") ;-)
Creak!
"Shhh! They might hear," the Doctor murmured.
Meow.
"Kitty!" Rose gasped, slithering forward with a rustle of her impractical skirts.
"Rose," he hissed. "Don't worry about the cat." He snorted in disgust.
Rose tsked and cuddled the purring cat to her chest. "What if the aliens want to eat the cat?"
"Rose," the Doctor clucked impatiently as the kitten yawned at him, a pleased expression on its
face. "They are bent on world domination. I doubt they are interested in -"
The Doctor stopped abruptly, clicking his teeth shut as a slurping, sloshing sound reached their ears. The kitten started in Rose's arms, leapt to the floor with a soft clomp and ran off, its little feet pitter-pattering against the floorboards.
Rose and the Doctor tip-toed towards the back of the building and peeked around a corner. Several large, humanoid aliens dressed in stunningly clichéd silver jumpsuits were gulping milk directly from various milking buckets.
The Doctor frowned and crept towards the figures, not noticing the bucket full of milk until it tipped over with a clatter and splashed its contents on to his trainers.
The aliens' heads snapped up as they whirled around to face them, snarling in surprise.
Abandoning stealth, the Doctor leapt on top of a convenient crate, his shoes slapping wetly against the wood.
"I'm the Doctor," he roared, "defender of this world. I demand you stop this invasion immediately."
In the stunned silence that followed, the chirp of birds, the distant bark of a dog and the soft mooing of the dairy cows were as loud as any sonic boom.
Finally, an elderly alien hmphed.
"World domination? We just came for the milk. Of all the planets in the galaxy, it has to come from a cow."
"I know! It's crazy, huh?" the Doctor crowed. He paused for a beat. "Oh, so no world domination, then?"
The aliens chortled.
"Right. My mistake. Just be careful, yeah? Humans in this time period aren't the most understanding about aliens."
He jumped off the crate, landing with a moist thud. "Right then, Rose Tyler. Shall we?" He clapped their hands together and quickly led her away, ignoring the way his shoes squelched with every step.
Rose heard the aliens snickering behind them as he shut the TARDIS door with a clunk.
With a sharp whoosh and a vworp, vworp, the TARDIS departed.
Author: glory-jean
Pairing/Characters: Ten/Rose
Rating: All Ages
Summary: Rose and Ten face some noisy aliens.
Beta Reader achuislemochroi
Disclaimer Need I even say it about this one?
Author's Notes: Crack!fic. I gave the prompt "onomatopoeia" to the author formerly known as bananasandroses and gave myself a crack!bunny. Go and nag her where her fic now lives to post the results of that prompt. (AKA the "good onomatpoeia fic.") ;-)
Creak!
"Shhh! They might hear," the Doctor murmured.
Meow.
"Kitty!" Rose gasped, slithering forward with a rustle of her impractical skirts.
"Rose," he hissed. "Don't worry about the cat." He snorted in disgust.
Rose tsked and cuddled the purring cat to her chest. "What if the aliens want to eat the cat?"
"Rose," the Doctor clucked impatiently as the kitten yawned at him, a pleased expression on its
face. "They are bent on world domination. I doubt they are interested in -"
The Doctor stopped abruptly, clicking his teeth shut as a slurping, sloshing sound reached their ears. The kitten started in Rose's arms, leapt to the floor with a soft clomp and ran off, its little feet pitter-pattering against the floorboards.
Rose and the Doctor tip-toed towards the back of the building and peeked around a corner. Several large, humanoid aliens dressed in stunningly clichéd silver jumpsuits were gulping milk directly from various milking buckets.
The Doctor frowned and crept towards the figures, not noticing the bucket full of milk until it tipped over with a clatter and splashed its contents on to his trainers.
The aliens' heads snapped up as they whirled around to face them, snarling in surprise.
Abandoning stealth, the Doctor leapt on top of a convenient crate, his shoes slapping wetly against the wood.
"I'm the Doctor," he roared, "defender of this world. I demand you stop this invasion immediately."
In the stunned silence that followed, the chirp of birds, the distant bark of a dog and the soft mooing of the dairy cows were as loud as any sonic boom.
Finally, an elderly alien hmphed.
"World domination? We just came for the milk. Of all the planets in the galaxy, it has to come from a cow."
"I know! It's crazy, huh?" the Doctor crowed. He paused for a beat. "Oh, so no world domination, then?"
The aliens chortled.
"Right. My mistake. Just be careful, yeah? Humans in this time period aren't the most understanding about aliens."
He jumped off the crate, landing with a moist thud. "Right then, Rose Tyler. Shall we?" He clapped their hands together and quickly led her away, ignoring the way his shoes squelched with every step.
Rose heard the aliens snickering behind them as he shut the TARDIS door with a clunk.
With a sharp whoosh and a vworp, vworp, the TARDIS departed.