I am quite surprised you'd seriously say this. I have virtually no relationship with him beyond his hurtful comments on my journal. There is no reason for him to have access to my thoughts, feelings, complaints, or anything else I put on the internet. You yourself heard my boyfriend's testimony, saw my doctor's letter, and agreed that I had a strong case and am not able to work. You wouldn't condone someone who continually told a cancer patient "JUST GO TO WORK! Being nauseated and weak and in terrible pain every day doesn't matter, all that matters is you should be WORKING". Because cancer is debilitating and it's understood a person who has it needs to focus solely on healing. So I can't believe you can't see how unhelpful and mean it is for him to continue to try and diminish and deny my illness and its severity. It's not a "hard time", it's a plethora of disorders that make life extremely hard and close to impossible. All I need to be doing is staying alive and trying to get better. Any advice is unwarranted and unwanted and unhelpful.
And even if he had a right to tell me what I should do with my life, which nobody does, least of all him, there is absolutely no one who has a right to make statements about my mother or your marriage, and it's just mean and ridiculous. You should understand how much that hurts me and that I really don't need that in my life.
"You only hurt the ones you love." The comments are said with sincerity, love and compassion, and therefore, they are not hurtful. Dr. Sigmund X. Freud would say you call them hurtful only because deep down, you know tjhere's a great element of truth in them. Nobody has denied your illness, but you know full well that you are capable of working a full-time job. The problem is you think you need to stay in a negative funk, and that makes you lazy. Deep down, you're not really lazy; your brain has only been programmed to think it, and therefore the rest of you, is lazy. You're not lazy. You can get back to normal. You haven't given it a serious effort. As for your mother, I have no ill will toward her. I'm confident she loves you and little tiny Valerie. But the fact is, she was, shall we say, not a terrific wife. Your father is a great man and he didn't deserve that. But both your mother and father love both of you girls very much, so much so, they would put your both between two pieces of rye bread if that were possible. One last thing: You DO need straight talk in your life. You had so precious little straight talk in your earlier years.
You don't know the meaning of love or compassion, and it's impossible to say you have it for someone you barely know. Dr Sigmund Freud would say you have some deep-seated mommy issues and that's why you feel the need to put down other people's mothers and ex-wives. He'd also say that such an obsession with doling out misguided advice shows evidence of an inferiority complex.
No, I am not capable of working any sort of job, and it's quite befuddling that your brother would represent me in a case designed to prove exactly this, tell me to my face he believes I truly am too ill to work, tell the judge he believes it, spend hours filling out paper work and filing appeals, and then come on an internet journal and speak out of the other side of his mouth. He wouldn't have bothered even taking my case if he didn't think I had a chance of winning. He would've told me flat-out, "You have no case. You are fine." But he saw what my doctor said, and the SSA's own vocational expert, and he's convinced, as he has told me. No, I don't believe I am permanently non functioning. I hope to get better and yes, get a job and be an adult. But I'm unable to do much of anything right now, which anyone who actually spent TIME with me could tell you. I am basically a monster who has no control over their emotions or outbursts, and this is not conducive to staying calm or even leaving the house for very long. But I'm done defending myself. You've made your point. You, who I never see or talk to, obviously know better than my doctor, my boyfriend, my mother, my sister, and other people who see me on a daily basis and have experienced the extent of how unwell I really am and agree the only thing I need is help. You are an expert on EVERYTHING, your life is perfect, you've never made a single mistake, and you have the right to sit in judgment of everyone, including the woman who taught you to drive and used to cut your hair and you know in your heart is a good person who never abused or did anything wrong to your brother. You also know cheating is wrong, no matter what sort of spouse the victim is. You continue to avoid acknowledging this point: your brother cheated, breaking the sacred bonds of marriage, and regardless of anything else, his wife never, ever did. That's all that matters.
Also? You don't know much about my earlier years. You think I spent it getting every toy and candy I wanted, ordering my parents around, sitting in my bed playing dolls and never having to do anything I didn't want to. Yes, I was spoiled, but I'd rather grow up spoiled than have been hit with a belt. (I believe your father actually apologised for this, and acknowledged how wrong it was, before he died.) I had a shitty childhood. I was made fun of a lot, and had very few friends, and my only solace was writing on my computer or playing dolls by myself or spending time with my parents. So they gave me more attention than is normal, but I needed it, because who knows? If I hadn't had so much love and attention from my parents, maybe I wouldn't have been able to cope with the misery I experienced at school, and might've been the first Eric Harris or Dylan Klebold. I think your main problem you refuse to admit is you think you're perfect, or superior, at least, because you support yourself. You are not better than me because you work and I don't. When I could, I did, and when I can, I will. But you know what makes someone a good person? Kindness, compassion, empathy, generosity, and love. Not whether they make money and live on their own or not. So you can continue with your "straight talk" even though you can see it hasn't changed a damn thing in, what, 7 years of it? Because I think it makes you feel better to tell someone what they should be doing, to feel confident you're right and they're wrong, because you must feel pretty powerless in other areas of your life. Only someone who didn't feel authoritative or respected would feel the need to impose their beliefs on a person who so desperately needed the opposite of that.
It's not misguided advice, and you know it. I know you know it, because you and I are remarkably similar in one way: We have a natural ability to communicate in writing. We're at our best when we write. I'd probably make a lousy politician, because I would offer straight talk to the masses, and although they might know deep down that I was right, they would not want to hear it. In the case of the LJ, where essentially you're the only one who sees my views, you know I am a sensible, honest, drug-free person whose advice you know is correct. You're not a monster; you're a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate individual, and your family loves you. That includes your mom. She has some redeeming qualities, but I've never said she is bad or wicked. Trouble is, she abused your father, not physically, but in other ways. Yes, he should not have tolerated it as long as he did, but he's a great man and he took the mistreatment as long as he could. And yes, you were very spoiled as a child, and both of your parents know it. That doesn't mean they don't love you. They do. They both love you with all their hearts, just as your relatives do. So, it's in the spirit of love that I tell you -- in the best way I can -- my views. Do you think I would give a crap about somebody else's daughter who is troubled as you are? No. So, please look at my motivation in trying to get you back on track. I love you and I care.
And even if he had a right to tell me what I should do with my life, which nobody does, least of all him, there is absolutely no one who has a right to make statements about my mother or your marriage, and it's just mean and ridiculous. You should understand how much that hurts me and that I really don't need that in my life.
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The comments are said with sincerity, love and compassion, and therefore, they are not hurtful. Dr. Sigmund X. Freud would say you call them hurtful only because deep down, you know tjhere's a great element of truth in them.
Nobody has denied your illness, but you know full well that you are capable of working a full-time job. The problem is you think you need to stay in a negative funk, and that makes you lazy. Deep down, you're not really lazy; your brain has only been programmed to think it, and therefore the rest of you, is lazy.
You're not lazy. You can get back to normal. You haven't given it a serious effort.
As for your mother, I have no ill will toward her. I'm confident she loves you and little tiny Valerie. But the fact is, she was, shall we say, not a terrific wife. Your father is a great man and he didn't deserve that. But both your mother and father love both of you girls very much, so much so, they would put your both between two pieces of rye bread if that were possible.
One last thing: You DO need straight talk in your life. You had so precious little straight talk in your earlier years.
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Dr Sigmund Freud would say you have some deep-seated mommy issues and that's why you feel the need to put down other people's mothers and ex-wives. He'd also say that such an obsession with doling out misguided advice shows evidence of an inferiority complex.
No, I am not capable of working any sort of job, and it's quite befuddling that your brother would represent me in a case designed to prove exactly this, tell me to my face he believes I truly am too ill to work, tell the judge he believes it, spend hours filling out paper work and filing appeals, and then come on an internet journal and speak out of the other side of his mouth. He wouldn't have bothered even taking my case if he didn't think I had a chance of winning. He would've told me flat-out, "You have no case. You are fine." But he saw what my doctor said, and the SSA's own vocational expert, and he's convinced, as he has told me. No, I don't believe I am permanently non functioning. I hope to get better and yes, get a job and be an adult. But I'm unable to do much of anything right now, which anyone who actually spent TIME with me could tell you. I am basically a monster who has no control over their emotions or outbursts, and this is not conducive to staying calm or even leaving the house for very long.
But I'm done defending myself. You've made your point. You, who I never see or talk to, obviously know better than my doctor, my boyfriend, my mother, my sister, and other people who see me on a daily basis and have experienced the extent of how unwell I really am and agree the only thing I need is help. You are an expert on EVERYTHING, your life is perfect, you've never made a single mistake, and you have the right to sit in judgment of everyone, including the woman who taught you to drive and used to cut your hair and you know in your heart is a good person who never abused or did anything wrong to your brother. You also know cheating is wrong, no matter what sort of spouse the victim is. You continue to avoid acknowledging this point: your brother cheated, breaking the sacred bonds of marriage, and regardless of anything else, his wife never, ever did. That's all that matters.
Also? You don't know much about my earlier years. You think I spent it getting every toy and candy I wanted, ordering my parents around, sitting in my bed playing dolls and never having to do anything I didn't want to. Yes, I was spoiled, but I'd rather grow up spoiled than have been hit with a belt. (I believe your father actually apologised for this, and acknowledged how wrong it was, before he died.) I had a shitty childhood. I was made fun of a lot, and had very few friends, and my only solace was writing on my computer or playing dolls by myself or spending time with my parents. So they gave me more attention than is normal, but I needed it, because who knows? If I hadn't had so much love and attention from my parents, maybe I wouldn't have been able to cope with the misery I experienced at school, and might've been the first Eric Harris or Dylan Klebold. I think your main problem you refuse to admit is you think you're perfect, or superior, at least, because you support yourself. You are not better than me because you work and I don't. When I could, I did, and when I can, I will. But you know what makes someone a good person? Kindness, compassion, empathy, generosity, and love. Not whether they make money and live on their own or not. So you can continue with your "straight talk" even though you can see it hasn't changed a damn thing in, what, 7 years of it? Because I think it makes you feel better to tell someone what they should be doing, to feel confident you're right and they're wrong, because you must feel pretty powerless in other areas of your life. Only someone who didn't feel authoritative or respected would feel the need to impose their beliefs on a person who so desperately needed the opposite of that.
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I'd probably make a lousy politician, because I would offer straight talk to the masses, and although they might know deep down that I was right, they would not want to hear it. In the case of the LJ, where essentially you're the only one who sees my views, you know I am a sensible, honest, drug-free person whose advice you know is correct.
You're not a monster; you're a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate individual, and your family loves you. That includes your mom. She has some redeeming qualities, but I've never said she is bad or wicked. Trouble is, she abused your father, not physically, but in other ways. Yes, he should not have tolerated it as long as he did, but he's a great man and he took the mistreatment as long as he could.
And yes, you were very spoiled as a child, and both of your parents know it. That doesn't mean they don't love you. They do. They both love you with all their hearts, just as your relatives do. So, it's in the spirit of love that I tell you -- in the best way I can -- my views. Do you think I would give a crap about somebody else's daughter who is troubled as you are? No.
So, please look at my motivation in trying to get you back on track. I love you and I care.
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