the hard times come now
so i drove around for like 2 hours tonight, i went through like half a pack of cigaretts and i thought about alota shit.
all my life ive always been the one to always want something more, even if its less then what i already got. there is something about change that always... amused me if u want to say. sometimes the change is good and its more than what i wanted, other times its just something that i should have never thought about doing. now i could sit here and type for hours about all the times ive done that, but it wouldnt be worth it.
i could go about saying right now that i have a very good life. i have a nice apartment, i drive a brand new car, im in college, and i have a wonderful girlfriend that i really dont even appreaciate that much. so why am i not happy? maybe its the fact that i strive for something else all the time, even though i already got something great. i think if i got this why cant i have that. the fact is i dont really need that other thing in my life, but i do want it, i just never really try really hard to get it. i'll say that im going to get this for a week or so, and i'll brag about it, but i never get it, or do it. it just always floats out of reach.
maybe i should really talk about what i wanted to talk about, i miss my girl. i never really call her anymore. i always think about her but i never really take any action on it. i'll see her on the weekends maybe like one day every two weeks. its hard living so far away and wanting to see her more often. im used to seeing my girlfriends all the time. now all i really do is come home and work, then go out with my friends, most of them being girls. why do i do this. this girl would do anything for me and i cant even take the time that i do have to see her. i enjoy being with her and i love the times we are together.
i cant think anymore, ive driven by her house like 3 times, and ive called her like a million times. shes the one that can chear me up. she could just sit there and i could smile at her. i know ive said all this bullshit in the past about other people, but now it feels much more different. being away from home and everything that you were used to doing changes you in a lot of ways. i guess i want to say that its hard. being away from someone or something for a long time makes you realize how much you care for it.
i know i love her and i know im gunna change, i dont want to be with anyone else. shes beautiful and shes the funniest person ive ever talked to. she can make me smile when im crying and she can make me do backflips when im tired. she will always put me first it seems, no matter what. i want to be able to do that to her. i want her to be in best mood all the time, because i know she is not.
monica when and if u ever read this, belive me when i say that i love you with all my heart, you are everything to me and i realize it now. i want to say thank you cuz ur there for me no matter what even when i do the most hurtful things to you. and iwant to say im sorry for being me, just a kid, not knowing anything. it will change, dont u worry. ur little stevo is back, he just needed a little kick in the ass.
all my life ive always been the one to always want something more, even if its less then what i already got. there is something about change that always... amused me if u want to say. sometimes the change is good and its more than what i wanted, other times its just something that i should have never thought about doing. now i could sit here and type for hours about all the times ive done that, but it wouldnt be worth it.
i could go about saying right now that i have a very good life. i have a nice apartment, i drive a brand new car, im in college, and i have a wonderful girlfriend that i really dont even appreaciate that much. so why am i not happy? maybe its the fact that i strive for something else all the time, even though i already got something great. i think if i got this why cant i have that. the fact is i dont really need that other thing in my life, but i do want it, i just never really try really hard to get it. i'll say that im going to get this for a week or so, and i'll brag about it, but i never get it, or do it. it just always floats out of reach.
maybe i should really talk about what i wanted to talk about, i miss my girl. i never really call her anymore. i always think about her but i never really take any action on it. i'll see her on the weekends maybe like one day every two weeks. its hard living so far away and wanting to see her more often. im used to seeing my girlfriends all the time. now all i really do is come home and work, then go out with my friends, most of them being girls. why do i do this. this girl would do anything for me and i cant even take the time that i do have to see her. i enjoy being with her and i love the times we are together.
i cant think anymore, ive driven by her house like 3 times, and ive called her like a million times. shes the one that can chear me up. she could just sit there and i could smile at her. i know ive said all this bullshit in the past about other people, but now it feels much more different. being away from home and everything that you were used to doing changes you in a lot of ways. i guess i want to say that its hard. being away from someone or something for a long time makes you realize how much you care for it.
i know i love her and i know im gunna change, i dont want to be with anyone else. shes beautiful and shes the funniest person ive ever talked to. she can make me smile when im crying and she can make me do backflips when im tired. she will always put me first it seems, no matter what. i want to be able to do that to her. i want her to be in best mood all the time, because i know she is not.
monica when and if u ever read this, belive me when i say that i love you with all my heart, you are everything to me and i realize it now. i want to say thank you cuz ur there for me no matter what even when i do the most hurtful things to you. and iwant to say im sorry for being me, just a kid, not knowing anything. it will change, dont u worry. ur little stevo is back, he just needed a little kick in the ass.