Famous last words...Put me out- with a hammer!!??
She's still here.
We got a call at 6:30, asking us to come. Her breathing had changed, (short, shallow breaths), and she had a terrible pain in her side. We got there, and she was crying out in pain- it was awful. The palliative care nurse was there, and promptly worked on upping the morphine. Her sister, Bert, was also busy swabbing her mouth, and putting lubricant in her nose. (the oxygen dries them out something fierce...) It was hilarious- she was bossing her around, and telling her exactly what she wanted.
The pain got worse, and she started crying out "oh please, oh please, do something!" We assured her that we were working on it. She replied "Put me out! Put me out!" Debbie (the nurse) told her that she was upping her med levels. Then... "Get a hammer!" We all burst out laughing. In spite of her terrible pain and suffering, she totally has kept an amazing sense of humor. Then: "Debbie, Debbie, please do something!" Debbie assured her that she had upped the level, but it would take about 2 minutes to take full effect. Marina apologized....seriously! Of all times to be apologizing!! She's a wonderful, sweet, amazing woman, and is teaching us all so much about how to die. She's been nothing but wonderful this whole time.
She is so looking forward to going home. She's assured us that she is not sad or scared at all- she just wants to go. Yesterday, she and Chad were talking about things, and she happily told him that she was "going to see Jesus soon!" She and Chad have had long talks about the afterlife, and what heaven would be like. Chad told her the other day that she'd see it soon, and she smiled blissfully. Yesterday, she told her sister that she was hearing her mother's voice.
There is so no fear or resistance- she is just waiting- anxiously waiting to go. We are all hoping the same... This morning, as she was suffering so much, Tara kept on saying: "Please take her home...please take her!"
She did not get to go this morning while we were there. I decided to go to work- there's no point of me being there, and work desperately needs me. She slipped into a coma at about 11, or so, and since then has been completely unresponsive. Thankfully, she is no longer suffering, but I hope she goes soon. The nurse is pretty sure that it will be sometime today....
I had no idea that the process of dying could be so peaceful and beautiful...
We got a call at 6:30, asking us to come. Her breathing had changed, (short, shallow breaths), and she had a terrible pain in her side. We got there, and she was crying out in pain- it was awful. The palliative care nurse was there, and promptly worked on upping the morphine. Her sister, Bert, was also busy swabbing her mouth, and putting lubricant in her nose. (the oxygen dries them out something fierce...) It was hilarious- she was bossing her around, and telling her exactly what she wanted.
The pain got worse, and she started crying out "oh please, oh please, do something!" We assured her that we were working on it. She replied "Put me out! Put me out!" Debbie (the nurse) told her that she was upping her med levels. Then... "Get a hammer!" We all burst out laughing. In spite of her terrible pain and suffering, she totally has kept an amazing sense of humor. Then: "Debbie, Debbie, please do something!" Debbie assured her that she had upped the level, but it would take about 2 minutes to take full effect. Marina apologized....seriously! Of all times to be apologizing!! She's a wonderful, sweet, amazing woman, and is teaching us all so much about how to die. She's been nothing but wonderful this whole time.
She is so looking forward to going home. She's assured us that she is not sad or scared at all- she just wants to go. Yesterday, she and Chad were talking about things, and she happily told him that she was "going to see Jesus soon!" She and Chad have had long talks about the afterlife, and what heaven would be like. Chad told her the other day that she'd see it soon, and she smiled blissfully. Yesterday, she told her sister that she was hearing her mother's voice.
There is so no fear or resistance- she is just waiting- anxiously waiting to go. We are all hoping the same... This morning, as she was suffering so much, Tara kept on saying: "Please take her home...please take her!"
She did not get to go this morning while we were there. I decided to go to work- there's no point of me being there, and work desperately needs me. She slipped into a coma at about 11, or so, and since then has been completely unresponsive. Thankfully, she is no longer suffering, but I hope she goes soon. The nurse is pretty sure that it will be sometime today....
I had no idea that the process of dying could be so peaceful and beautiful...