(no subject)
this is retarded. im stuck at my stupid house by myself, well, not completely. zack is here, hes pretty cool. i mean, he wont be able to help me study or anything, which is what i need right now. and yet...well, alright here we go, i ditched on thursday, my parents are angry that i missed school, but then they dont want me to study, it doesnt make any sense, i cant really study with myself, i need help with spanish, do we have a text book for that utterly pointless class? no, we dont, tom and bowen both know more about it than i do, but i cant go study with them b/c my parents are being irrational, im thinkin about just leaving anyway. which i told my dad i was considering, and then he threatened me with more punishments, but then i dont really know if id follow those either, it seems like its just an endless loop of my disobeying only to keep my pride, its stupid, i know. but i dont really have much else, at least if i dont listen to them i wont feel like theyre still controlling my life, they dont always know whats better. this is ridiculous. i want to go through a major change, or do something drastic in which my parents have no part so that they would then have to just accept they have lost control, instead of just holding onto the shreds they now think they have. friggin a. and i want angela. right now, but i dont think that i will be able to see her until like, the 31st b/c by the looks of it i wont be able to go anywhere this weekend, and since i doubt she wants to come over here b/c of her embarrassment and the likes, eff. my parents said ppl could come over here though, but who the hell wants to. OHHH i should get as many people over here as possible. yes, i would still be following their rules, showing that i respect them an ounce, but it will also show that i interpret things differently.