Random post for 2019
I know I mentioned in my prior post, the trend of me updating like, once a year. Well it's been longer than that this time. Things, just are...
I work a lot. I have been with BCBSTX going on 4 years in October. I went from temp, to full time- got trained on taking calls for Texas, Oklahoma, Illinois, New Mexico, and North Dakota. Then I was in a slump for a while there. Around the time I went on maternity to have Isla, I was taking what they call "non-pg" calls. Basically all the small business' and their employees. It was actually quite awful. Those people pay a lot for insurance, and their coverage was not great. So all day long I would take back to back calls from angry people. Guess having a baby would be considered a break in comparison. I do love my job though. Below are some of my favorite people.
Isla was due September 20th. At my last checkup my doctor was really confused. She had stopped growing, and I was actually losing weight. He decided he wanted to induce me. So on September 14th, I went in that evening prepared to have a baby. Well that didn't go so smooth. Anyone who knows anything about childbirth, knows that it's supposed to be a natural process. When they gave me that medicine to start dilating me, it kind of didn't work. I started having contractions before I even dilated. It was a long process because then they would have to quit giving it to me for a few hours, and have me do all these exercises and stuff, it was actually quite horrible. In the end her heartbeat kept dropping, so they decided to do an emergency c section. I was by myself, and scared something could be wrong since she had stopped growing, and now getting her out was proving difficult. So during all this, Will (her dad) finally mustered up the nerve to text me. Yeah remember my last post about taking the prenatal DNA test? Well after we got the results that confirmed to him he was her father, he completely disappeared. I can only assume he was too scared to man up, in any case I went through my whole pregnancy pretty frightened. Being a single mother to two, the financial aspect, all of it. He apologized when I was in the hospital giving birth to her. He acknowledged what a piece of shit he had been, and asked to be there, to be part of her life. I allowed it... I would never tell someone not to be a part of their kid's life. He came around a lot the first few months, but now he only drops in maybe a day or two if that, during the week. He usually only stays for a half hour or so. Once in a great while I ask him to take her, or have him watch her when I go somewhere. I do that less and less though because he doesn't pay enough attention to her. She always mysteriously pees through her clothes and shit like that. I guess if you do a shitty job people will stop asking you to help. In any case she still has her dad in her life. I'm hoping as she gets older he will take more of a role, but either way I got this.
Here are a few in the hospital right after she was born, seems like ages ago, yet just yesterday. She will be 3 on September 15th. Such a super smart kid, but has a hell of a temper lol.
Of course we got Colleen too. She is quite a unique one. She's 11 now. There are days here she is so mature, and wise beyond her years... Then other ones where she is just a silly 11 year old. Colleen is the definition of sweet. She compliments everyone everywhere we go, and is very polite. I see great things in her future. She has been doing really well in school. Every year the teacher's always say the same thing, she is very gifted and polite and a joy to have in class- but always hint at the fact she is not living up to her full potential due to her having concentration issues. Her and I have spoke about it, about the ADHD but she pushes through and says she can do it without medication. On top of not being able to concentrate, they have diagnosed her with Dyslexia. I am not 100% sure she actually is. I mean there are different degrees to it, and if she is, it's a very mild case. She is in a dyslexia program in school that has worked wonders for her. Even if she isn't, the program is extra help. She is a super strong reader and creative writer. That isn't what she wants to do with her life though. I have never met a child so young, so focused on her future and career goals. It began with her reading some facts about the Titanic. Then she became full blown obsessed with anything Titanic related. Soon after she was begging me to see the movie, because up until that point she had only compiled tons of facts about it. After that she decided she wanted to be a ship captain. When I told her about the Sea Cadet program, and all the things my sister achieved in it, that was a wrap! So Colleen is officially a Naval League Cadet. Once she turns 13 she can move over to the Navy Sea Cadets. She's cooled it on the captain thing for now, but she is pretty sure she wants to join the Navy. This program will get her scholarships into different colleges or even Naval Academy if she decides she truly wants to. I'm really proud of her. She helps me a lot with Isla and is a good big sister. I must say being a mom to these girls is my biggest and more rewarding achievement ever.
Being a mom, and working, that keeps me pretty busy. My last post was a lot about moving here, and sadly losing my dad right after. Even reading it brought a tear to my eye. But still years later it all holds true. My dad really wanted me to move down here, and I don't regret my decision. I am doing better than I ever did in Michigan. Good job, I have a nice apartment, and I can take care of my girls. We had a pretty good little routine going, but really there was something missing.
And that's when I found him.
Tim. We went out on our first date September 30, 2017, and we've pretty much been together since that. We aren't perfect, but he is everything I have ever wanted in a guy. Attractive, attentive, very intuative. He really understands me without me having to explain, he knows me. The girls and I have been lucky enough to have him in our lives for almost two years. That time has not been without its struggles though. We moved in together rather quick, and for a time there we struggled financially. It's so messed up because on my last post I mentioned what happened between Eric and I, the money issues... And yet it reared it's ugly head in an otherwise amazing relationship. It has to be true, money is the root of all evil. I'm not materialistic, but when it gets you to such an extreme state of panic and anxiety, I would say something has to give. So just within the last 6 months we moved into a bigger place, but Tim and I had broken up. He is in his own place now, and working a job for the City which he really likes. Every since he got his own place, the stress and pressure, all the crippling anxiety I felt about money has gone away. Yes I'm still worried about it, but just knowing he has place and job, and it taking care of business on his end, has been a relief. This has really strengthened what we are together. He still is amazing with the girls, and I have a wonderful time with him, but for now we are living separate and it seems to be really working for us. He has motivated me to be better. Not just with my children, but in my life in general. I'm thankful. I'm in love.
Ok so think that is enough for today. Colleen wasn't feeling well so I let her stay home from school, unfortunately that meant I had to call in too. I don't very often, just usually when one of the girls are sick.
Until next time....
I work a lot. I have been with BCBSTX going on 4 years in October. I went from temp, to full time- got trained on taking calls for Texas, Oklahoma, Illinois, New Mexico, and North Dakota. Then I was in a slump for a while there. Around the time I went on maternity to have Isla, I was taking what they call "non-pg" calls. Basically all the small business' and their employees. It was actually quite awful. Those people pay a lot for insurance, and their coverage was not great. So all day long I would take back to back calls from angry people. Guess having a baby would be considered a break in comparison. I do love my job though. Below are some of my favorite people.
Isla was due September 20th. At my last checkup my doctor was really confused. She had stopped growing, and I was actually losing weight. He decided he wanted to induce me. So on September 14th, I went in that evening prepared to have a baby. Well that didn't go so smooth. Anyone who knows anything about childbirth, knows that it's supposed to be a natural process. When they gave me that medicine to start dilating me, it kind of didn't work. I started having contractions before I even dilated. It was a long process because then they would have to quit giving it to me for a few hours, and have me do all these exercises and stuff, it was actually quite horrible. In the end her heartbeat kept dropping, so they decided to do an emergency c section. I was by myself, and scared something could be wrong since she had stopped growing, and now getting her out was proving difficult. So during all this, Will (her dad) finally mustered up the nerve to text me. Yeah remember my last post about taking the prenatal DNA test? Well after we got the results that confirmed to him he was her father, he completely disappeared. I can only assume he was too scared to man up, in any case I went through my whole pregnancy pretty frightened. Being a single mother to two, the financial aspect, all of it. He apologized when I was in the hospital giving birth to her. He acknowledged what a piece of shit he had been, and asked to be there, to be part of her life. I allowed it... I would never tell someone not to be a part of their kid's life. He came around a lot the first few months, but now he only drops in maybe a day or two if that, during the week. He usually only stays for a half hour or so. Once in a great while I ask him to take her, or have him watch her when I go somewhere. I do that less and less though because he doesn't pay enough attention to her. She always mysteriously pees through her clothes and shit like that. I guess if you do a shitty job people will stop asking you to help. In any case she still has her dad in her life. I'm hoping as she gets older he will take more of a role, but either way I got this.
Here are a few in the hospital right after she was born, seems like ages ago, yet just yesterday. She will be 3 on September 15th. Such a super smart kid, but has a hell of a temper lol.
Of course we got Colleen too. She is quite a unique one. She's 11 now. There are days here she is so mature, and wise beyond her years... Then other ones where she is just a silly 11 year old. Colleen is the definition of sweet. She compliments everyone everywhere we go, and is very polite. I see great things in her future. She has been doing really well in school. Every year the teacher's always say the same thing, she is very gifted and polite and a joy to have in class- but always hint at the fact she is not living up to her full potential due to her having concentration issues. Her and I have spoke about it, about the ADHD but she pushes through and says she can do it without medication. On top of not being able to concentrate, they have diagnosed her with Dyslexia. I am not 100% sure she actually is. I mean there are different degrees to it, and if she is, it's a very mild case. She is in a dyslexia program in school that has worked wonders for her. Even if she isn't, the program is extra help. She is a super strong reader and creative writer. That isn't what she wants to do with her life though. I have never met a child so young, so focused on her future and career goals. It began with her reading some facts about the Titanic. Then she became full blown obsessed with anything Titanic related. Soon after she was begging me to see the movie, because up until that point she had only compiled tons of facts about it. After that she decided she wanted to be a ship captain. When I told her about the Sea Cadet program, and all the things my sister achieved in it, that was a wrap! So Colleen is officially a Naval League Cadet. Once she turns 13 she can move over to the Navy Sea Cadets. She's cooled it on the captain thing for now, but she is pretty sure she wants to join the Navy. This program will get her scholarships into different colleges or even Naval Academy if she decides she truly wants to. I'm really proud of her. She helps me a lot with Isla and is a good big sister. I must say being a mom to these girls is my biggest and more rewarding achievement ever.
Being a mom, and working, that keeps me pretty busy. My last post was a lot about moving here, and sadly losing my dad right after. Even reading it brought a tear to my eye. But still years later it all holds true. My dad really wanted me to move down here, and I don't regret my decision. I am doing better than I ever did in Michigan. Good job, I have a nice apartment, and I can take care of my girls. We had a pretty good little routine going, but really there was something missing.
And that's when I found him.
Tim. We went out on our first date September 30, 2017, and we've pretty much been together since that. We aren't perfect, but he is everything I have ever wanted in a guy. Attractive, attentive, very intuative. He really understands me without me having to explain, he knows me. The girls and I have been lucky enough to have him in our lives for almost two years. That time has not been without its struggles though. We moved in together rather quick, and for a time there we struggled financially. It's so messed up because on my last post I mentioned what happened between Eric and I, the money issues... And yet it reared it's ugly head in an otherwise amazing relationship. It has to be true, money is the root of all evil. I'm not materialistic, but when it gets you to such an extreme state of panic and anxiety, I would say something has to give. So just within the last 6 months we moved into a bigger place, but Tim and I had broken up. He is in his own place now, and working a job for the City which he really likes. Every since he got his own place, the stress and pressure, all the crippling anxiety I felt about money has gone away. Yes I'm still worried about it, but just knowing he has place and job, and it taking care of business on his end, has been a relief. This has really strengthened what we are together. He still is amazing with the girls, and I have a wonderful time with him, but for now we are living separate and it seems to be really working for us. He has motivated me to be better. Not just with my children, but in my life in general. I'm thankful. I'm in love.
Ok so think that is enough for today. Colleen wasn't feeling well so I let her stay home from school, unfortunately that meant I had to call in too. I don't very often, just usually when one of the girls are sick.
Until next time....