oh shit.....

[gloomysunday27]

So much stuff got accomplished today, that's a good feeling. Woke up and made some coffee, began cleaning the shit out of the house. I haven't really updated for quite some time, for my own personal records I'd like to note Eric and are are renting a house. I believe I was still living in my apartment in Marine City last time I posted anything. That was a super cute and extremely well located apartment, once again though I couldn't maintain in my own, I was struggling so bad. Being a single mom is hard, but also things are different now because I'm not actually on my own dealing with everything. In any case the house we're renting now is actually quite nice. I'm pretty happy with it overall, and there is a huge backyard but because of all the rain we are yet to see it not a swamp. Kinda shitty because we planned to get a pool and really want to have a bash for Colleen's birthday. Hopefully we'll be able to whip it into shape by then. Got my fish tank filled, all it needs is fish now lol. So finally everything is coming together. There's been a bit of stress, that will, I'm praying, will be resolved Friday. Long story short, after a dna test we now know Eric is the father of that Alex girl's baby. It was kind of a shock to find out he's the dad, because of the suspicious circumstances everything went down. We prepared for it though, which is another reason we went with a 3/4 bedroom house. His room is coming together nicely, and we got pretty much everything else we need, just no baby. Every since the results from the results confirmed he was the dad, the girl stopped communicating with him fully. Friday is the friend of the court meeting, we're really hoping all can be resolved and she will stop intentionally keeping the baby from Eric. we've done a tremendous amount of homework and research and I hope with everything we know Eric is feeling confident about what's going to happen. Point is, the court wants what is in the best interest of the child, which is having a relationship with both the parents. A father, upon establishing paternity, had equal rights to a child until the court says otherwise. They also frown down upon the patent who won't communicate or alienating the other parent. There is so much information on the internet, plus legal advice from family law lawyers, I'm shocked she doesn't realize any of this. The only excuse for keeping a child from the other parent, would be if the child was in danger of physical or emotional harm. And in that case, you have to have clear and convincing evidence that proves the child would be harmed. Really though, all you would have to do is google "keeping child from father" or something close to that and you would know, I'm surprised she never thought to. I've been here, back in the day when Kevin and I went through all our bullshit. I read up, and also had a consultation with a lawyer. I knew my rights, his rights, and made sure I didn't do anything foolish to hurt my odds. It's crazy because there's all these little laws involved in family law. In any case, the fact he and I communicated, there were no problems and it worked out well for everyone, and mostly Colleen. So after Friday a lot of stress will be alleviated, and we van finally move forward. I'm excited about the summer, finally get my ass out of the house hopefully lose a couple pounds of my winter coat lol. We haven't been drinking, I've had a lot of clarity. Not only mind, but soul. I still look back at the shitty choices I've made, people I've hurt and I've learned and changed. I don't want to be the person I was before, i want to be a good human. I didn't know, when I was being selfish and only caring about myself, who I was hurting, who's lives I affected. I'm sorry about what I was, how I was. I can only apologize, and strive to be better. I feel like I'm finally making the correct decisions in my life. I'm secure, happy, and finally holding my shit together. I was diagnosed.with ADHD, and since learning that see where my compulsive and careless attitude came from. I've decided not to take the Adderall or Ritalin I was prescribed. I don't want to depend on a pill everyday, I think I'm strong enough to continue forward in my life without that. Well, I've wrote a small novel here, just had a tad bit too much caffeine which of course isn't actually good for someone like me,, I had a lot on my mind. I've carried a lot of regret and remorse also, in my heart, that I hope someday I won't feel that way about. So goodnight lj, update on what happens in court on Friday.

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