(no subject)
Hey there. I know that it's been a while since I've updated here, but I suppose I had better let you know what's going on, huh? I know it's like 1:00 in the morning, and I should be sleeping, but I can't get any sleep.
Have you ever been to a funeral? It's really hard when it's open casket, and you have to go veiw your loved one and say your goodbyes, right? What if you knew that someone was going to die, and you stayed by they're side until they took they're very last breath, and you slowly watch them die, have you ever done that? I can put that on my list of mortifying moments, now.
I wanted to stay home and have a relaxing weekend, just rest and not go anywhere. I told leah I didn't want to go to staples, even though it would have been much easier on me if I had went.
We got a call early saterday morning that my grandpa was in the hospital and he was in really rough shape. So my mom and everyone were going to go down there and see how he was doing, and I told them that I would just stay home, and have my relaxing weekend.
Well, Dawner called, and she convinced me to come. She said that I should stop being selfish, and think about grandpa, and how this was his time of need, and he needed me to be there. So I swallowed deeply, and decided that I would go, for grandpa's sake.
So I got dressed, didn't really have time for anything, but a shower.
Rode all the way up there.
When theysaid that grandpa was in rough shpe, shit, they really meant it. He was unconsious most of the time, woke up sometimes when he needed something to drink, or rather an ice cube to melt in his mouth so that he didn't dehydrate or something. He was breathing heavily, and the cancerous lump that was so little in his shoulder was now half the size of his head, and pussing sometimes.
I thought that it would all be over soon, and we'd go home that night, and everything would be allright.
Yeah, right.
I spent that night at my brother's house in Burnsville, because my brother didn't have to work in the morning. The next morning we stayed at his house for a while, played guitar, he showed me the new distortion pedal he had just bought. Watched some old Randy Rhodes/ozzy vids on the computer. and then headed back to the hospital. Grandpa remained the same.
I have never seen my brother cry. Never in my life, until now. He's just like me. Doens't want attention, just sits in the corner, and cries to himself. we cried together, that whole day.
So sunday passed by, and grandpa still reamained the same.
Monday came, and went just the same. Looking up at the clock, wishing that I was in school. When do you ever wish you were in school? Ha, at times like these, I suppose.
I also wished that I had control over getting a hold of some people, like Leah, becasue she said she was going to call form staples. Or Jessica who was planning on calling, too.
but of course when a real emergency rolls around, my cell doesn't have minutes.
So then here comes tuesday. grandpa is looking a little worse each day.
This day his urine is darker, more orange than yellow, his breathing is harsher and harsher by the minute.
Then, as it gets harsher, and harsher... it just stops. It just ceases to be.
When I was in there, he kept saying "mama! mama! mama!" and looking twards the ceiling. He knew he was going home. I knew it too. Espcially when I watched him take that last breath.
My poor mom wasn't in the room, uncle Bruce had to go get her. She ran all the way from the bus stop to the 1st floor elevator, and when she got up to his room on the 4th floor, she was gasping for air, and crying harder then I had ever seen her cry in her entire life. Alot of people were crying harder than I thought ever imaginable.
It was hard, it was really hard. I cryed harder than I ever thought was imaginable.
I"m here at my uncle randy and aunty pam's right now. They were nice and let us stay here because the rest of the family is stayinga t grandma's house. Poor grandma, she still had cancer, too, and now sh'es all alone. She'll die soon, too. She's donw to 85 pounds, she looks like a skeliton.
I think Jason is planning to go home tomorro, if so then I'll be home tomorro, probably not in time to go to school, but in time to go to youth group, if not, then I'll probably just be in school on thursday.
I love you , and I miss you so very much allready grandpa.
R.I.P. William "Bud" Schultz. I know that your in a better place now. Much better than this shithole. lucky you. I love you. We all do.
andrea.
Have you ever been to a funeral? It's really hard when it's open casket, and you have to go veiw your loved one and say your goodbyes, right? What if you knew that someone was going to die, and you stayed by they're side until they took they're very last breath, and you slowly watch them die, have you ever done that? I can put that on my list of mortifying moments, now.
I wanted to stay home and have a relaxing weekend, just rest and not go anywhere. I told leah I didn't want to go to staples, even though it would have been much easier on me if I had went.
We got a call early saterday morning that my grandpa was in the hospital and he was in really rough shape. So my mom and everyone were going to go down there and see how he was doing, and I told them that I would just stay home, and have my relaxing weekend.
Well, Dawner called, and she convinced me to come. She said that I should stop being selfish, and think about grandpa, and how this was his time of need, and he needed me to be there. So I swallowed deeply, and decided that I would go, for grandpa's sake.
So I got dressed, didn't really have time for anything, but a shower.
Rode all the way up there.
When theysaid that grandpa was in rough shpe, shit, they really meant it. He was unconsious most of the time, woke up sometimes when he needed something to drink, or rather an ice cube to melt in his mouth so that he didn't dehydrate or something. He was breathing heavily, and the cancerous lump that was so little in his shoulder was now half the size of his head, and pussing sometimes.
I thought that it would all be over soon, and we'd go home that night, and everything would be allright.
Yeah, right.
I spent that night at my brother's house in Burnsville, because my brother didn't have to work in the morning. The next morning we stayed at his house for a while, played guitar, he showed me the new distortion pedal he had just bought. Watched some old Randy Rhodes/ozzy vids on the computer. and then headed back to the hospital. Grandpa remained the same.
I have never seen my brother cry. Never in my life, until now. He's just like me. Doens't want attention, just sits in the corner, and cries to himself. we cried together, that whole day.
So sunday passed by, and grandpa still reamained the same.
Monday came, and went just the same. Looking up at the clock, wishing that I was in school. When do you ever wish you were in school? Ha, at times like these, I suppose.
I also wished that I had control over getting a hold of some people, like Leah, becasue she said she was going to call form staples. Or Jessica who was planning on calling, too.
but of course when a real emergency rolls around, my cell doesn't have minutes.
So then here comes tuesday. grandpa is looking a little worse each day.
This day his urine is darker, more orange than yellow, his breathing is harsher and harsher by the minute.
Then, as it gets harsher, and harsher... it just stops. It just ceases to be.
When I was in there, he kept saying "mama! mama! mama!" and looking twards the ceiling. He knew he was going home. I knew it too. Espcially when I watched him take that last breath.
My poor mom wasn't in the room, uncle Bruce had to go get her. She ran all the way from the bus stop to the 1st floor elevator, and when she got up to his room on the 4th floor, she was gasping for air, and crying harder then I had ever seen her cry in her entire life. Alot of people were crying harder than I thought ever imaginable.
It was hard, it was really hard. I cryed harder than I ever thought was imaginable.
I"m here at my uncle randy and aunty pam's right now. They were nice and let us stay here because the rest of the family is stayinga t grandma's house. Poor grandma, she still had cancer, too, and now sh'es all alone. She'll die soon, too. She's donw to 85 pounds, she looks like a skeliton.
I think Jason is planning to go home tomorro, if so then I'll be home tomorro, probably not in time to go to school, but in time to go to youth group, if not, then I'll probably just be in school on thursday.
I love you , and I miss you so very much allready grandpa.
R.I.P. William "Bud" Schultz. I know that your in a better place now. Much better than this shithole. lucky you. I love you. We all do.
andrea.