just something i wrote
of the sea
this doesn't have a pairing and i didn't really think of anyone when i wrote it so i'll just let it sit in this journal idek D: enjoy the emo?
"i don't believe anymore," he says and it stings, catches on your bottom lip and strings you out to dry. he's not there anymore, not in your dreams or in your thoughts(you tell yourself this, over and over)- just a hollow space somewhere in the back of your head that repeats the same phrase over and over again. it costs you a paper cut but you scribble down lyrics that he's been willing you to write for days now. the pen scratches against the cardboard but the sound is music to your ears and when you finish you find yourself looking out at fog covering the sand as waves splash onto the shore.
sometimes if you stare out long enough, you can see him drowning, pushing himself farther down into the sea although he can't hold his breath anymore. his eyes are wide and calm, bubbles sliding off of his skin and drifting up above his head as the shirt he's wearing pillows up around him like angel wings or something equally haunting but you can't place it. you've always though of it to be an off white color, unbuttoned and sliding off of pretty pale shoulders. he tilts his head up toward the sun, rays casting off of his body as it twists horrifically and when his eyes lose life, you wake up in a pool of sweat, pushing the blankets off of your heaving frame.
you take seven, eight, nine cold showers, scrubbing your skin until the water around your feet is colored red. you didn't know what numb truly felt like until you realized it felt like nothing at all. you don't feel anything anymore and you wish it wasn't so pathetic, wish you could get up and get the fuck out of this house but he's holding you in. he keeps you captive, wants to make you safe. you wonder if safe and happy are supposed to coincide while you write another soliloquy and the red stains everything when you try to wipe it away.
you put it up on the wall anyway.
this doesn't have a pairing and i didn't really think of anyone when i wrote it so i'll just let it sit in this journal idek D: enjoy the emo?
"i don't believe anymore," he says and it stings, catches on your bottom lip and strings you out to dry. he's not there anymore, not in your dreams or in your thoughts(you tell yourself this, over and over)- just a hollow space somewhere in the back of your head that repeats the same phrase over and over again. it costs you a paper cut but you scribble down lyrics that he's been willing you to write for days now. the pen scratches against the cardboard but the sound is music to your ears and when you finish you find yourself looking out at fog covering the sand as waves splash onto the shore.
sometimes if you stare out long enough, you can see him drowning, pushing himself farther down into the sea although he can't hold his breath anymore. his eyes are wide and calm, bubbles sliding off of his skin and drifting up above his head as the shirt he's wearing pillows up around him like angel wings or something equally haunting but you can't place it. you've always though of it to be an off white color, unbuttoned and sliding off of pretty pale shoulders. he tilts his head up toward the sun, rays casting off of his body as it twists horrifically and when his eyes lose life, you wake up in a pool of sweat, pushing the blankets off of your heaving frame.
you take seven, eight, nine cold showers, scrubbing your skin until the water around your feet is colored red. you didn't know what numb truly felt like until you realized it felt like nothing at all. you don't feel anything anymore and you wish it wasn't so pathetic, wish you could get up and get the fuck out of this house but he's holding you in. he keeps you captive, wants to make you safe. you wonder if safe and happy are supposed to coincide while you write another soliloquy and the red stains everything when you try to wipe it away.
you put it up on the wall anyway.