(no subject)
There are few things I love more than having people lie about a situation in order to make themselves look so good and pitiable, and make me look like an irrational bitch. It's even more fun when they do it before an audience of people who love nothing more to leap in and agree with them, if only so that they have a chance to play psychologist. It's happened twice in the past month, and it makes me feel so incredibly good inside. What makes it all the more delicious is the fact that I confide to precisely two people, and really don't disparage those with whom I have serious problems outside of that. I vent. When I'm angry, I vent a lot. I do not intend for said venting to be shared with the cause of my anger, because it is seldom a coherent argument that could bring about anything productive and I've no interest in a direct exchange with them that's anything but. One of the two people is, as far as I can tell at this point, worthy of that sort of trust. The other is not, although I had been hoping, until tonight, that he had changed. So, for the record:
1) Chris Kovach can talk with, date or fuck anybody he likes. I will continue to take issue with the fact that he seems to enjoy doing all three to people who treat him badly.
2) I do not have feelings of inadequacy in the context of this situation (now, if we want to compare my career to those of several of my high school friends, it's another story entirely;) I do, however, have feelings of 'wtf' when the phenomenon mentioned in the second half of #1 occurs, because it rather makes me wonder why it's worth investing so much into a friendship when others are treated with greater consideration when, in a number of cases, they deserve none beyond common courtesy.
3) The source of my half of the argument was not a mystery, despite his claim that I did not explain myself to him.
4) I was asked to end the line of conversation, and since I had other friends with whom I still wanted to talk without the annoyance of a bleeping window, I blocked him.
When I'm reduced to making a livejournal entry, of all things, in order to counteract being smeared on a game, of all things, I do feel a bit like the time has come to put them aside and go seek my smearing in the real world. Then again, people do reveal themselves for what they are eventually. I still get enough enjoyment out of what I do to make it worthwhile for me to keep doing it, and I try to save my running and hiding for when I'm in the depths of a depression, which is not currently the case.
It does make me wonder whether I might've begun to grow out of it, because it's been a number of eventful months now, but my mood has remained mostly within the normal range. Last year at this time, the sort of bullshit that I get to juggle now would probably have upset me a lot more than it currently does. Sort of tangential, but a reason to be glad. Which, at the moment, I do kind of need.
Thank God for the other person.
1) Chris Kovach can talk with, date or fuck anybody he likes. I will continue to take issue with the fact that he seems to enjoy doing all three to people who treat him badly.
2) I do not have feelings of inadequacy in the context of this situation (now, if we want to compare my career to those of several of my high school friends, it's another story entirely;) I do, however, have feelings of 'wtf' when the phenomenon mentioned in the second half of #1 occurs, because it rather makes me wonder why it's worth investing so much into a friendship when others are treated with greater consideration when, in a number of cases, they deserve none beyond common courtesy.
3) The source of my half of the argument was not a mystery, despite his claim that I did not explain myself to him.
4) I was asked to end the line of conversation, and since I had other friends with whom I still wanted to talk without the annoyance of a bleeping window, I blocked him.
When I'm reduced to making a livejournal entry, of all things, in order to counteract being smeared on a game, of all things, I do feel a bit like the time has come to put them aside and go seek my smearing in the real world. Then again, people do reveal themselves for what they are eventually. I still get enough enjoyment out of what I do to make it worthwhile for me to keep doing it, and I try to save my running and hiding for when I'm in the depths of a depression, which is not currently the case.
It does make me wonder whether I might've begun to grow out of it, because it's been a number of eventful months now, but my mood has remained mostly within the normal range. Last year at this time, the sort of bullshit that I get to juggle now would probably have upset me a lot more than it currently does. Sort of tangential, but a reason to be glad. Which, at the moment, I do kind of need.
Thank God for the other person.