(no subject)
You probably do NOT want to read this because this is going to be as coherent as a GWB speech: I’m taking some meds for pain. It’s all good, they’ll give me a tuneup and new spark plugs at the oral surgeon’s on Wednesday, but in the interim, I walk like Dracula’s Renfield (my hump keeps switching sides, too!), talk in a manner only understood by a few Swedes, gaze myopically at a simple clock trying to decipher what it is, and have the conviction I’m about to turn into a cricket.
Also, a few rather interesting things happened.
1. I can’t drive! I was supposed to see David Amram today, and if you don’t know who he is, educate thyself! But my windshield was doing a fair attempt at dancing the Merengue, the steering wheel felt a lot like the dishwater that I’ve been avoiding for 2 days, and Mark Twain was sitting on my left shoulder giving me the wrong driving directions on purpose. Bastard!
I was supposed to meet dark_goddess_, and when the poor girl called I sounded like the adults on Charlie Brown. Wa waaaa wa wa wa waaaa. Very coherent! (I owe you one!)
2. The Metronidazole makes anything I eat feel as light and as frothy as a pound of lead, which makes me feel like the floor would collapse under my weight; and I have no parachute!
3. This is the worse one: I decided to give myself a haircut. Now, normally, this would be a very easy procedure, which takes about 5 minutes: I slip the proper Length Adapter on my Remington, buzz the back, switch adaptors and buzz the top. Even a mental giant such as Brittney Spears should be able to handle this, right?
So I clip, and clip, and when I look at the clipper, I discover it has no adapter on it. That’s right; I just shaved the back of my head, completely… So I shaved the rest.
For your viewing pleasure, here is the
note that there is NO hair on the sides of my head, and an irregular patch on the top, making me look like a demented Marine who swallowed a football.
Lesson of the day, kids:
- Do not cut your own hair when on pain medication.
- Wear sunscreen. No, wait. That’s Kurt Vonnegut.
- Never listen to Mark Twain when he gives you driving directions.
/lesson
Also, a few rather interesting things happened.
1. I can’t drive! I was supposed to see David Amram today, and if you don’t know who he is, educate thyself! But my windshield was doing a fair attempt at dancing the Merengue, the steering wheel felt a lot like the dishwater that I’ve been avoiding for 2 days, and Mark Twain was sitting on my left shoulder giving me the wrong driving directions on purpose. Bastard!
I was supposed to meet dark_goddess_, and when the poor girl called I sounded like the adults on Charlie Brown. Wa waaaa wa wa wa waaaa. Very coherent! (I owe you one!)
2. The Metronidazole makes anything I eat feel as light and as frothy as a pound of lead, which makes me feel like the floor would collapse under my weight; and I have no parachute!
3. This is the worse one: I decided to give myself a haircut. Now, normally, this would be a very easy procedure, which takes about 5 minutes: I slip the proper Length Adapter on my Remington, buzz the back, switch adaptors and buzz the top. Even a mental giant such as Brittney Spears should be able to handle this, right?
So I clip, and clip, and when I look at the clipper, I discover it has no adapter on it. That’s right; I just shaved the back of my head, completely… So I shaved the rest.
For your viewing pleasure, here is the
note that there is NO hair on the sides of my head, and an irregular patch on the top, making me look like a demented Marine who swallowed a football.
Lesson of the day, kids:
- Do not cut your own hair when on pain medication.
- Wear sunscreen. No, wait. That’s Kurt Vonnegut.
- Never listen to Mark Twain when he gives you driving directions.
/lesson