(no subject)
So. Life. Confusion.
I feel good. I wrote this piece about introspection, about how 2009 for me has been all about introspection.
The other night I reached this turning point/epiphony about my life. I think I'm ready to close whatever chapter of my life I've been in.
That doesn't mean I want to stop writing and playing music and reading reading reading. It just means I'm sort of ready to rejoin my community, ready to take active bites out of life, and ready to plan some new adventure.
Basically what precipitated all of this (although it's been happening gradually anyway) was my own recognition of the fact that I want to travel to Colombia. I've hidden from this truth for a long time because, well, it's Colombia. I have a close friend from Colombia who had to leave because she's a journalist and, let's just say, some people had problems with that.
But the more I read, the more I talk to friends who've been there, it seems like it's pretty safe to visit Colombia these days, and the conflict is the worst on the border with Venezuela (where no one recommends travelers go).
There's an NGO in Colombia called "Fundación Mariposas Amarillas" in Santa Marta. Mariposas Amarillas means yellow butterflies in Spanish, and I LOVE the concept of yellow butterflies. It's a literary reference to One Hundred Years of Solitude.
Santa Marta is also one of two towns my mom visited when she went to Colombia in the 70s. It all feels oddly fated (part of my choice to go to Oberlin was because my mom used to live there). Also, just in the past few years this NGO has called for international volunteers to come help out.
I don't know if I'll even get there, or what exactly I'll do in my year (or maybe a little less) of adventure, but somehow, just admitting to myself that I would like to go to Colombia, that I'm willing to stand up to my own fears and do something that I would really like to do, changed my attitude and perspective on my current life.
For a long time I've looked at living in DC as a necessary compromise because I don't pay rent to live here and I've had so many good job opportunities due to what's around. But nonetheless I've seen it as a compromise, and so I've taken it all for granted.
Now that I recognize that I really am not going to stay here forever, I want a more active living of life than I've had in the past year or so. I want to get out, to appreciate all of the weird paradoxes that only exist here, I want to strengthen friendships, I want to see lots and lots of live music. I want to maybe even perform some music.
So. That's me. That's my realization I think, for this part of my life.
I feel good. I wrote this piece about introspection, about how 2009 for me has been all about introspection.
The other night I reached this turning point/epiphony about my life. I think I'm ready to close whatever chapter of my life I've been in.
That doesn't mean I want to stop writing and playing music and reading reading reading. It just means I'm sort of ready to rejoin my community, ready to take active bites out of life, and ready to plan some new adventure.
Basically what precipitated all of this (although it's been happening gradually anyway) was my own recognition of the fact that I want to travel to Colombia. I've hidden from this truth for a long time because, well, it's Colombia. I have a close friend from Colombia who had to leave because she's a journalist and, let's just say, some people had problems with that.
But the more I read, the more I talk to friends who've been there, it seems like it's pretty safe to visit Colombia these days, and the conflict is the worst on the border with Venezuela (where no one recommends travelers go).
There's an NGO in Colombia called "Fundación Mariposas Amarillas" in Santa Marta. Mariposas Amarillas means yellow butterflies in Spanish, and I LOVE the concept of yellow butterflies. It's a literary reference to One Hundred Years of Solitude.
Santa Marta is also one of two towns my mom visited when she went to Colombia in the 70s. It all feels oddly fated (part of my choice to go to Oberlin was because my mom used to live there). Also, just in the past few years this NGO has called for international volunteers to come help out.
I don't know if I'll even get there, or what exactly I'll do in my year (or maybe a little less) of adventure, but somehow, just admitting to myself that I would like to go to Colombia, that I'm willing to stand up to my own fears and do something that I would really like to do, changed my attitude and perspective on my current life.
For a long time I've looked at living in DC as a necessary compromise because I don't pay rent to live here and I've had so many good job opportunities due to what's around. But nonetheless I've seen it as a compromise, and so I've taken it all for granted.
Now that I recognize that I really am not going to stay here forever, I want a more active living of life than I've had in the past year or so. I want to get out, to appreciate all of the weird paradoxes that only exist here, I want to strengthen friendships, I want to see lots and lots of live music. I want to maybe even perform some music.
So. That's me. That's my realization I think, for this part of my life.