Let Being Be
LET BEING BE
let being be
alone on a mountain
in
early spring
thinking of who and what i am
alone, amongst
soaked earth brittled trees
burntblack grass
and how i am to be a father to my children
in this severance
this sacrifice of soul
that spits solitude into every corner
and
here;
i fear i am an absent
a lostness concealed by wealth
i
i choke tears in supermarkets
hate people carriers
turn away from baby seats
buy crayons
tell the till operator my life story just to convince her i am a parent
dream of tomorrow
but stay haunted by yesterday
and still
still these thoughts will not cease
they cascade like mountainpure water to some unknown yet needed destination
these fragments i call mind
return
pecking at resilience
holing my hope
and here;
i swallow nature whole
trying to believe this must be it
there has to be a chance
a sky glint of somewhere starlight
that will burn holes into this darkness
nd that the hands i made
will create me
that these fragments shall fuse a life
into fire
and that what i am
will let them be
who and what they wish to be
that all this pain this nocturnalled anxiety this waiting for weekends to come and that paul robeson robbie fowler the rock christina rossetti and jackson pollock and a fragment of me will somehow stay in their tinymassive minds against this torrent called life we inhabit
and that somehow by going
i have never gone
only arrived at some cleaner point just like this water that rages past
me now and that one day when they are men and women
that they may sit upon this mountain
under this sky
with calmed heart and
still
searching thoughts
and they may utter
the word
father
with some semblance
of beauty
and recognition
and
know
know
that
they
they
are
un-alone
forever.