TJRBB: Find me somebody to love - Part I
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Part I
Adam walked around to talk to their guests. It seemed like everyone he has ever known was there. He was happy to see them all. He looked over at Sauli who was talking to the chef. Sauli was smiling as they talked over some food suggestions. They wanted to incorporate some Finnish food for their wedding reception dinner. The chef they decided to hire for the wedding reception had some Finnish roots and was familiar with Finnish dishes. He was a good looking man. His hair was hanging over his shoulders in slight curls. Adam was not sure about the color yet. It seemed to be a mix of several shades of brown. He was tall, taller even then Adam, with deep blue eyes. He was really nice to look at.
Adam walked over to where Sauli and the chef were standing. “Hey, Nate!” he stretched his hand towards the cook, while he laid the other arm around Sauli’s waist.
Nate smiled while he squeezed Adam’s hand. “I guess we found the perfect menu for the wedding. It will be the perfect mix between Finnish and American food.“
Sauli snuggled closer to Adam and Adam had to put a kiss on his head. “I'm sure you both worked out something amazing. “
Sauli nodded. “We did. It's going to be so amazing, baby. I can’t wait.”
Adam smiled. “Just six more weeks, then you're mine”, he said with a possessive tone in his voice. Sauli rolled his eyes and looked at Nate who was watching them, slightly amused.
“Nate, I advise you not to get yourself a rockstar as boyfriend. They tend to be a bit over the top with everything.” He didn’t sound very convincing and Nate had to laugh.
“I guess if he could make me as happy as Adam seems to make you I could deal with that.”
They talked for a few minutes, then Nate went to his car to get some food he prepared for tonight. Sauli turned and snuggled close in Adam’s arms, his head resting on Adam’s chest. Adam could feel him smile and leaned down to leave a kiss in his hair.
“Have you seen Tommy tonight?” Sauli asked without changing his position.
“No, I haven’t. Is he here?”
Sauli nodded against Adam’s chest. “Yeah, he looked sad. I haven't had time to talk to him yet. Beside I guess it would be better if you ask him about it”. Sauli lifted his head and looked up, his lips curled in a soft smile. Adam leaned down to take a kiss. He looked around and spotted Tommy on the terrace, right above the pool. He was standing alone, an empty glass in his hand, he looked lost. Adam kissed Sauli one more time and walked towards Tommy.
He grabbed a bottle of beer for Tommy and a cocktail for himself. He had to walk around the pool to get up to the terrace. Tommy stayed in the same position the whole time. Finally Adam was beside him and overlooked the party below them. He handed the bottle over to Tommy who took it and set the empty glass on the railing beside him. Adam kept his eyes on the guests while he drank his cocktail. Tommy took a sip out of the bottle and sighed. Adam turned his face toward him then. “What happened? I thought you and Debbie wanted to come together?”
Tommy snorted. “There is not a together anymore. We broke up this morning.”
Adam put his arm around Tommy’s shoulders. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I thought you were good together.”
Tommy shook his head. “I guess I'm just not made for having a relationship at all. They never feel right. I don’t even know why, but after a while they all just end up grating on me. They all want to change me or put me in something I'm not.” He took another sip and Adam pulled him closer.
“What was it this time?” Adam knew that Tommy wanted to talk, he just needed some questions.
Tommy let a bitter laugh roll out of his mouth, still not looking at Adam. “She wanted me to be more ”normal” as she called it. She was worried about me meeting her parents because of my style, which is apparently too gay or something. So yeah, we got into a huge argument about that. She ended up saying some really nasty things to me; I just let her talk and told her to leave when she was finished.”
Adam pulled him in a real hug then. “Tommy, I'm sorry. I wish I could do something to make you feel better.”
Tommy just snuggled closer. “Don’t worry, I’ll get over it. It just sucks that I'm not able to have a relationship that lasts longer that four weeks. Obviously I'm not able to make them stay.”
Adam took Tommy’s head in his hands and forced him to look him in the eyes. “Don’t you dare say that about yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. She was just not the right person for you, that’s all.” Tommy sighed and moved out of Adam’s arms.
He turned back to watch over the party and took a sip out of the bottle. Adam watched him and then took a sip of his cocktail.
Tommy was still watching down in the garden when he said: “Maybe I should just stop seeing women for a while. Maybe that's the problem; I just pick the wrong ones. Maybe I should try dating guys.”
Adam choked on his drink at that. “Again?” he managed to ask once he stopped coughing.
Tommy laughed. “I don’t know Adam, but maybe it would work better with guys. I mean until now I've only had casual fun with guys, nothing serious. So maybe this could be my chance.” He shrugged.
Adam sighed. “Tommy, I don’t think that gender is the problem here. I think you just chose the wrong people. Maybe you should be more careful and take more time to get to know them. I don’t know.”
Tommy smiled at him. “Or maybe I should just go to Finland, find a cute guy and give him a lollipop?”
Adam laughed. “You know it was not THAT easy.”
Tommy rolled his eyes. “Actually it was, Adam. You got lucky and you know it.” Adam looked down and found Sauli looking up at him. He blew him a kiss and turned around to Tommy again:
“I know I got lucky, but you also know, that before I met Sauli I had some not so good experiences.”
Tommy snorted. “Yeah, I can remember how dark your second album was about to get before Sauli saved your ass,” Adam just smiled at that. “And heart.”
Tommy turned away from the party. He drank the rest of beer out of his bottle and started to peel the label. Adam watched him and waited for him to continue. Tommy sighed deeply as he sank down to sit on the floor. Adam joined him and they were sitting there together with backs against the railing, the party behind them. Tommy was still picking at the label while he started to talk.
“I've been thinking for a while about that actually. I like men too, but I never gave guys a real chance to be with me. I've always dated women.”
Adam took Tommy’s hand. “I don’t know what's right for you but I still think that it might depend on the person you fall in love with. I mean, when was the last time you fell in love?”
Tommy looked at Adam with a spark in his eyes. “Of course, when I met you. It was never the same after that; no man had a real chance.”
Adam rolled his eyes but decided to jump on the joke. “Tommy, why didn’t you tell me sooner? We could have been together for almost 5 years. We wasted so much time! And what do I do with Sauli?”
Tommy was biting a laugh away as he tried to stay serious. “Adam, we’ve got tonight. I can be with you this one last time…“ Tommy started to laugh for real and Adam joined him.
After a while they stopped and Tommy’s face turned serious again when he looked at Adam. “Thank you for being my friend. I'm so grateful we never tried anything out; even if I was tempted at the beginning.”
Adam smirked. “Yeah I might have wanted to slam you against the wall the minute you walked in that audition. But I'm sure we never would have worked out together. We're somehow too different and too similar at the same time. And I love you as a friend too much to ever be able to be without you.” Adam leaned over and kissed Tommy’s cheek. “And now: tell me!”
Tommy sighs. Adam never forgets. “I don’t know to be honest about my feelings, I let them walk all over me until I don't feel anymore and they leave. I guess it's been too long and I don’t even remember how to. Believe me; I want to fall in love. I want that! I want what you and Sauli have, but love doesn’t seem to find me.” He snorts, while Adam pulls him in a quick hug again.
“Hey, guys! Nate brought some food and we want to try out some Finnish dishes. Are you on board with that or do you need some more time?” Sauli was walking towards them. Tommy got up and shook his head. “It’s ok. I'm ok. It was just a stupid day, well maybe some stupid weeks or months to be honest.”
Sauli got closer. “Debbie and you….?”
Tommy interrupted him. “Yeah, we're over. I just need to find someone better.”
Sauli pulled Tommy in a hug. “You will. You are such an amazing person. Everyone who could be with you would take their chance.” Tommy thanked him and started to walk away from them. He turned back to see Sauli going up on his tiptoes to kiss Adam’s nose.
He smirked at them. “And you're wrong, not everyone wants me. I offered your soon-to-be-husband one last fling but he is so embarrassingly in love with you, he refused to even think about it.” Sauli turned to Tommy with a shiny smile on his face.
“I wish I could say that you should try me instead, but I'm embarrassingly in love with him too.” He blew Tommy a kiss. Tommy smiled and shook his head and left to get something to eat.
Part II