Age makes no difference till you open your mouth
So my reasons for posting this story are two-fold. One, Michael Putlack requested it. Two, my friends and those who I care about need to sometimes be reminded that there are really stupid people in the world who they need to watch out for. Officially.
So because Facebook News Feed is ridiculous, I have recently enjoyed doing things that make the facts people see about me funnier. My reasons for creating the group "My Name Is Lacey Smith, And I'm More Attractive Than You Are" were simple. I was bored, it would be funny, and then Lacey Smith's from around the country would friend me and I could be friends with myself. Also, it was 5am and I don't sleep much lately.
In order to acquire members, I messaged almost every Lacey Smith I found on facebook (almost 50!) and most responded in kind, finding it amusing. Others simply ignored it. A few responded with disinterest. But one in particular gave this excellently articulate response:
HELL NO you look fat
which was especially poignant given its lack of punctuation. Unable to resist my somewhat childish but mostly humorous desire to respond and annoy her, I sent the following message:
Well, you look like a whore. But I'm glad to see it hasn't ruined your sense of humor.
I figured this would be the end. A typical tit for tat. Instead, I received this beaut of a reply:
go back to germany, thats where your fat ass belongs. its ugly ass people like you that bring down society.. just because your so unhappy with yourself doesnt mean you need to go around and try and pick on those that look better
Moved by her command of the English language and her ability to read a profile that says I'm studying abroad quite clearly as opposed to actually German, I was also charmed by her ability to confuse me picking on her with her being an ignorant moron. I also noticed that she had the forethought to block me so that I couldn't reply and further terrorize her with my bullying.
Now, a normal person might have stopped there and simply ignored the opportunity to really upset someone stupid, but I had nothing better to do. Instead, due to my freakish photographic memory, I remembered her boyfriend's name. I found the guy from her school with that name and wrote this simple message:
Man, it sucks having a whore for a girlfriend, right buddy?
I regretted bringing an innocent bystander into it, but I had the distinct feeling that as a boyfriend who posts excessive wall messages, he was probably in on it all along. So I blocked him. I want to see if I can inflame their anger at my repulsive lack of attractiveness enough that they have to really go out of their way to comment on my apparent but never actually indicated by me lack of self-esteem. In the meanwhile, I get to laugh at them all the live-long day.
And that's just a reminder to you all that you can find stupidity wherever you go. A real update on life for the past few months soon. In the meantime, this is Lacey "The Fatty" Smith, signing off.
So because Facebook News Feed is ridiculous, I have recently enjoyed doing things that make the facts people see about me funnier. My reasons for creating the group "My Name Is Lacey Smith, And I'm More Attractive Than You Are" were simple. I was bored, it would be funny, and then Lacey Smith's from around the country would friend me and I could be friends with myself. Also, it was 5am and I don't sleep much lately.
In order to acquire members, I messaged almost every Lacey Smith I found on facebook (almost 50!) and most responded in kind, finding it amusing. Others simply ignored it. A few responded with disinterest. But one in particular gave this excellently articulate response:
HELL NO you look fat
which was especially poignant given its lack of punctuation. Unable to resist my somewhat childish but mostly humorous desire to respond and annoy her, I sent the following message:
Well, you look like a whore. But I'm glad to see it hasn't ruined your sense of humor.
I figured this would be the end. A typical tit for tat. Instead, I received this beaut of a reply:
go back to germany, thats where your fat ass belongs. its ugly ass people like you that bring down society.. just because your so unhappy with yourself doesnt mean you need to go around and try and pick on those that look better
Moved by her command of the English language and her ability to read a profile that says I'm studying abroad quite clearly as opposed to actually German, I was also charmed by her ability to confuse me picking on her with her being an ignorant moron. I also noticed that she had the forethought to block me so that I couldn't reply and further terrorize her with my bullying.
Now, a normal person might have stopped there and simply ignored the opportunity to really upset someone stupid, but I had nothing better to do. Instead, due to my freakish photographic memory, I remembered her boyfriend's name. I found the guy from her school with that name and wrote this simple message:
Man, it sucks having a whore for a girlfriend, right buddy?
I regretted bringing an innocent bystander into it, but I had the distinct feeling that as a boyfriend who posts excessive wall messages, he was probably in on it all along. So I blocked him. I want to see if I can inflame their anger at my repulsive lack of attractiveness enough that they have to really go out of their way to comment on my apparent but never actually indicated by me lack of self-esteem. In the meanwhile, I get to laugh at them all the live-long day.
And that's just a reminder to you all that you can find stupidity wherever you go. A real update on life for the past few months soon. In the meantime, this is Lacey "The Fatty" Smith, signing off.