+ i was a key that could use a little turning +
I'm so tired.. today was so long and restless. I went to my grandmoms funeral it was soo sad i seen alot of people that i havn't seen in a while and it was good to see my uncle and cousin re-united after all those years. I'm in the most depressed mood lately.. i don't wanna do anything just sleep and lie around, my sister came home last night and i went out with her for a little and we were beggin to let me go there for tommorow and friday cause fridays her last day of school so id be coming home saturday but my parents said no =( they said i missed too much of school. Oh yeah i had the WORST day in school Tuesday i havn't had one of those days in a while.. in first period this big black thug kid jamar keeps fucking with me and i finally just lost it and i started crying at my desk so my teacher let me go to guidence and i talked to her but she didn't help she made me stay in school which fucking pissed me off because i was sitting there crying and she made me go to my next class. But shes gonna make my teacher move ugly ass jamar away from me.. =( do people not have feelings? at all? they don't even care when they hurt someone. Then jenn and i went into guidence at lunch cause she needed something and this fucking BITCH WHOORE mrs rigby or something was telling me off saying "where are you supposed to be?, you cant just come in here, DONT CATCH ATTITUDE WITH ME!" and i just looked at her and was like yeah ok i could be like suicidal and your sitting here telling me off and we walked out.. she was like "whats your name" and i just walked out.. because you know what? i don't fucking need that bullshit from people in school who don't even fucking KNOW me. I hate almost every single mother fucking person in that school and i dread getting up in the morning to go there. No one even knows how depressed going to school fucking makes me.. no one seems to understand that i don't fit in there with anyone, and i can't work well with other people. So yeah today when i got home i slept for a very long time on my couch and now i'm woken up and i'm in the worst mood and my stomach hurts and blah thats it. I really don't wanna go to school tommorow.. friday i'm skipping.. if Tina wants to go then fine if not, i'm walking out alone. Id rather be by myself then deal with all the bullshit from people that i don't fucking need.
On to another subject.. i got my hair dyed.. no more black =( and i'm sorry but i do not really like it and i cried over it.. i dunno i guess i have to get used to it.. it's REALLY light and i'm so not used to light at all.. i was there from 3 after school till 9 at night.. cause at first it came out too dark then it came out BLONDE like sheer blonde and i looked UGLY with blonde hair so i was like i'm definitely not leaving with blonde hair so she did it like a light brown/redish tint/orangish color. I looked like more then ugly in that mirror and i had to sit there forever looking at my ugly self in the mirror.
On to another subject.. i got my hair dyed.. no more black =( and i'm sorry but i do not really like it and i cried over it.. i dunno i guess i have to get used to it.. it's REALLY light and i'm so not used to light at all.. i was there from 3 after school till 9 at night.. cause at first it came out too dark then it came out BLONDE like sheer blonde and i looked UGLY with blonde hair so i was like i'm definitely not leaving with blonde hair so she did it like a light brown/redish tint/orangish color. I looked like more then ugly in that mirror and i had to sit there forever looking at my ugly self in the mirror.